This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)
I officially love you all
Okay here's my try at it.
"Touga, 50 bucks says I can nail Utena."
"Good luck with that. I been barking up that tree for years and she isn't putting out any time soon. It's a deal!"
Later Akio met up with the pink headed fool.
"Allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste."
"Oh really?"
"Oh shi- Run Utena! Run! Here big brother take Nanami!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Oh god! Oh god! This is not happening! This is not happening! All right, calm down. Breathe. Beach Anthy, you're on a beach. With sunny skies, Utena in a two piece. Mmm, Utena in a two piece. Oh yeah."
Later Akio went back to meet up with Touga.
"Touga, you owe me 50 bucks."
"Oh do I now?"
In an act of rage Touga killed the man who somehow managed to get Utena clothes off after he couldn't do it all this time and walked into the sunset because he's awesome like that.
Meanwhile Utena still didn't know what just happened.
"I feel so... violated."
"But you know, since I was in shock the first time around I didn't really get a chance to enjoy it. So maybe finding him and doing it one more time wouldn't be such a bad thing..."
"No... I'll stay and clean. This place is dirty... Dirty... Everything and one is just dirty..."
"I used to have so much respect for you."
"You're one to talk... You slept with him too!"
"Yeah but in my defense I was drunk through most of it. You was sober. That's unforgivable. Either way I think you should get yourself."
"I'm sorry what? I was too busy cooking and cleaning. You know, everything is dirty..."
"Miss Utena you don't understand. My brother slept with a lot of women, I mean a LOT of women. He created seven new STDs. You should REALLY get yourself checked!"
The end.
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Omg Tori that was hilarious. I died laughing at listless Movie!Anthy in her chair.
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Alexandra wrote:
Omg Tori that was hilarious. I died laughing at listless Movie!Anthy in her chair.
Yay! I made someone laugh
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ToriJ, seven new STDs!?
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Yes, I used to have so much respect for Utena until she slept with Akio, as well. And yes, listless movie Anthy is hilarious.
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Time for me to take another shot at this.
Utena: Wakaba, I'm straight.
Wakaba: What?!?! You?!?! No way!!!!
Utena: Yes, it's crazy how straight I am.
Wakaba: I still don't believe it.
Utena: Just look at me getting it on with Touga.
Wakaba: Looks more like you're blowing him off. And staring at Anthy's chest. Why won't you look at my chest like that?
Utena: But I'm not interested in girl's chests.
Wakaba: You sure?
Utena: I was not looking at her chest!
Wakaba: Well what about kissing girls?
Utena: WE DID NOT KISS!
Wakaba: Deny being a lesbian all you want, but I have a picture of you kissing a girl right on the lips.
Utena: WHAT?!?! Give me that!!!!!
Utena: How did you get this?!?!?!
Wakaba: Now are you going to deny it any more?
Utena: Fine you win. I have an announcement to make to you,Wakaba, and everyone else.
Utena: Everyone, I'm gay.
Wakaba: Really?!?!?!
Tatsuya: Why does this excite you so much, Wakaba?
Anthy: No wonder she looks at my chest all the time.
Wakaba: Now look at my chest!
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Ah Wakaba...
Utena looks at my chest
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I always knew Wakaba was an Utena fangirl, The_A_Man. And ToriJ, only Akio could create seven new std's.
Itsuke wrote:
Riri-kins
Oh, I got a million of 'em.
Presenting The True Story Of My Uncle's Short-Term Memory Loss
Last edited by Riri-kins (07-10-2009 01:04:00 PM)
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Another real fml post illustrated with Utena screencaps!
I like this one because first I laugh, and then I get really, really sad.
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Yeah, that is rather sad...poor Utena.
[I have joined the band wagon]
Here's the story of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up three very [questionably] lovely girls.
None [but one] of them had hair of gold, like their mother,
The middle one in curls.
Here's the story, of a man named Akio Ohtori,
Who was busy with three boys of his own, (They were all adopted)
(They were four men, living all together,
Yet they were all alone.)
Till the one day when the lady met this fellow
And they knew it was much more than a hunch,
That this group would somehow form a family.
[
That's the way they all became...
-------------
[If you ever thought I'd escape from hell, now you know.]
(And it's been 700 posts since I got here! I'm happy to know I'm the only one who cares!)
Last edited by spoon-san (07-11-2009 02:22:38 AM)
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spoon-san, I can't imagine what relationship they will have......
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The_A_Man wrote:
The Ohtori Bunch!!!! Never would have thought of that. But then again, I've never actually watched that show to be that familiar with the theme song.
To be honest, I used to watch the show a lot when I was a kid but I still had to look up the lyrics since I totally forgot the theme song...but now I have the Ohtori Bunch remixed version stuck in my head. Yeah, it's not good. Thank you for not shooting me!
Itsuke wrote:
spoon-san, I can't imagine what relationship they will have......
Neither can I, but all I know, it will be of the family unfriendly kind. :shudders:
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You know, Touga and Nanami makes me think of the Brady Bunch movie where Marcia and Greg move into the attic and start having naughty fantasies about each other.
Oooh, and if Wakaba is Alice, then that means Tatsuya gets to be Sam the Butcher.
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Utena's the bulldyke maid, right?
(I suck at that show, ask me about the Addams Family. )
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Giovanna wrote:
Utena's the bulldyke maid, right?
(I suck at that show, ask me about the Addams Family. )
ANTHY=WEDNESDAY.
And Mrs. Ohtori and Akio as Morticia and Gomez?
Do want.
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spoon-san, that is the most hilarious thing I've seen all day. You're a genius.
OnlyInThisLight wrote:
And Mrs. Ohtori and Akio as Morticia and Gomez?
Do want.
I can see it now.
Akio: "Tish, that's French! *kisses her foot* Say some more! Say 'pointy little high heels' in French, my love!"
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Raven Yes, Tatsuya is/was intended to be Sam.
Gio Utena can be the bulldyke housekeeper if you want her to be:
http://www.ohtori.nu/galerie/v/series/e … 1.jpg.html
Riri-kins Borderline insane might be a better word, but your rofl smilies are like a blueberry poptart to my taste buds.
Arigatou everyone for putting up with my demented mind.
I'd say more on the Adams Family but I'm sort of a n00b when it comes to that.
Last edited by spoon-san (07-12-2009 07:08:44 PM)
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And not to illustrate my latest computer problems.
Anthy: Big brother, I wouldn't download that if I were you.
Akio: Shut up Anthy, I know what I'm doing.
Anthy: Well it's you computer.
Akio: What are you talking about?
Anthy: You just downloaded a virus.
Akio: What?!?! NO!!!!!! Ah darn it! Well I guess to be evil I could send it to Mikage.
Mikage: What's this e-mail Akio sent me?
Guy 1: You know you shouldn't open links sent in e-mails.
Mikage: Shut up, I know what I'm doing.
Mikage: Ah crap! It contained a virus!
Well of course this isn't what happened to me.
Last edited by The_A_Man (07-13-2009 11:31:16 AM)
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Lol! Poor A-Man. Yes, unknown attachments are generally a bad, bad thing.
You should do one with Mikage being the one manufacturing and sending the Trojan through all of the computers in the Academy. But I guess I could see this as a metaphor for Akio sending STDs through the school. How Utena-ish!
edit: Oh, almost forgot to give you your consolation poptart:
Last edited by spoon-san (07-13-2009 11:39:44 AM)
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Well actually I think I may have gotten the virus throught bit torrent. Which is one reason I'm going to avoid downloading any torrent for a long while. I think a virus could spread like wild fire through toorent since it's peer to peer sharing. For all I know, the virus may have sent itself through the torrents I was seeding at the time before I could close it, which sort of makes me feel I little guilty. Out well, nothing I can do about that. Just hope it doesn't cause to many problems.
Oh ya, thanks for the po tart.
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The_A_Man, sorry to hear about that. But your joke is great~
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