This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)

#1 | Back to Top03-11-2014 05:41:41 PM

zevrem
Banned
Registered: 03-23-2013
Posts: 387

Weird hang-ups that you have

I really don't like reading/hearing about other people's relationships. It always makes me feel like I'm delving too deeply into another person's mind, as if I'm intruding on a space that doesn't belong to me on any level. It feels like a violation, existentially speaking.


The real purpose of elections is to make the people hate each other more than they hate their government.

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#2 | Back to Top03-11-2014 07:29:49 PM

crystalwren
Dark Whisperer
From: Brisbane
Registered: 04-21-2009
Posts: 1172
Website

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

I loathe being alone on New Year's Eve. I don't like being alone on Christmas Day or my birthday, but I can live with it if circumstances dictate. But New Year's Eve by myself? Nope. Hate. Hate. Hate. And I can't even tell you why this is so.

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#3 | Back to Top03-11-2014 07:35:05 PM

Decrescent Daytripper
Best Disney Princess
Registered: 04-09-2007
Posts: 2791

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

I have an absurdly short temper for people dismissing kids. And, I mean absurdly.

Maybe I was dismissed as a kid, or something, because that shit pisses me off.


My Brain is the Wakaba and Shiori Funtime Hour. With limited commercial interruption.

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#4 | Back to Top03-12-2014 09:50:04 AM

Giovanna
Ends of the Fandom
From: Edmonton, AB
Registered: 10-12-2006
Posts: 8797
Website

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

Vacuum lines on the carpet literally calm me. Lack thereof will contribute to a bad mood if I'm in one.


Akio, you have nice turns of phrase, but your points aren't clear and you have no textual support. I can't give this a passing grade.
~ Professor Arisa Konno, Eng 1001 (Freshman Literature and Composition)

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#5 | Back to Top03-17-2014 11:30:34 AM

zevrem
Banned
Registered: 03-23-2013
Posts: 387

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

crystalwren wrote:

I loathe being alone on New Year's Eve. I don't like being alone on Christmas Day or my birthday, but I can live with it if circumstances dictate. But New Year's Eve by myself? Nope. Hate. Hate. Hate. And I can't even tell you why this is so.

I get around this by thinking of the vernal equinox as the actual New Year.


The real purpose of elections is to make the people hate each other more than they hate their government.

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#6 | Back to Top03-17-2014 11:39:59 AM

OnlyInThisLight
KING OF ALL DUCKS
Registered: 01-15-2008
Posts: 4412

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

Giovanna wrote:

Vacuum lines on the carpet literally calm me. Lack thereof will contribute to a bad mood if I'm in one.

*gives you the hardest fucking high-five*

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#7 | Back to Top04-02-2016 02:50:08 AM

Decrescent Daytripper
Best Disney Princess
Registered: 04-09-2007
Posts: 2791

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

I don't like "finishing" creative work.

I want to leave something I know I could do or fix unaccomplished and hanging forever. It even bugs me if an editor or someone else fixes it after it's out of my hands.


My Brain is the Wakaba and Shiori Funtime Hour. With limited commercial interruption.

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#8 | Back to Top04-03-2016 03:12:26 PM

Flah
Belladonna Buster
From: British Columbia
Registered: 09-05-2013
Posts: 211

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

I dislike interacting with people who are too much like me. It's not because I want to consider myself a special snowflake unlike anyone else. They just always wind up reminding me of my own weaknesses and shortcomings.


Somewhere, there is an unplugged toaster sitting on a Coleman stove.

Does it feel lonely?

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#9 | Back to Top04-05-2016 01:39:24 PM

Yams
Nest Boxer
From: Crystal Millenium
Registered: 02-13-2007
Posts: 973

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

Buying necessary things, like credit for my cell phone. It's pisses me off for some reason.


http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i232/YamPuff/im%20holllowz_zpsx9ddh2gp.png~original

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#10 | Back to Top04-05-2016 04:05:47 PM

malna
Caretaker
From: Poland
Registered: 10-03-2011
Posts: 209

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

zevrem wrote:

I really don't like reading/hearing about other people's relationships. It always makes me feel like I'm delving too deeply into another person's mind, as if I'm intruding on a space that doesn't belong to me on any level. It feels like a violation, existentially speaking.

Same! I hate it. And it's especially annoying since this happens to be one of favorite topics of my girl friends'.

Recently I've come to realize something that's been bothering me literally since early childhood, only I never had given it a name before. In our culture, everything needs to be talked over. In close relationships, keeping secrets is often seen as near betrayal, even if these secrets have nothing to do with the person 'betrayed'. Communication is practically sanctified. I am a very different kind of creature myself; I like to shape things with what I choose to disclose and leave unsaid - it really is a neat tool. I often act unbeknownst to others. If I care about them, what I do will always be beneficial to them. I trust deeply and expect no less in return. I don't expect my loved ones to report to me. The point is, I just don't believe anybody has a right to know what's in the confines of my head. Oftentimes people seem genuinely convinced that one's thoughts, opinions, plans belong to them.
Likewise, people who talk a lot, especially about private things (but also, about extremely irrelevant stuff) set my teeth on edge.
Don't always say what you know, but always know what you're saying.


a lot of hope in one man tent

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#11 | Back to Top04-07-2016 02:55:58 AM

Yams
Nest Boxer
From: Crystal Millenium
Registered: 02-13-2007
Posts: 973

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

malna wrote:

Recently I've come to realize something that's been bothering me literally since early childhood, only I never had given it a name before. In our culture, everything needs to be talked over. In close relationships, keeping secrets is often seen as near betrayal, even if these secrets have nothing to do with the person 'betrayed'. Communication is practically sanctified. I am a very different kind of creature myself; I like to shape things with what I choose to disclose and leave unsaid - it really is a neat tool. I often act unbeknownst to others. If I care about them, what I do will always be beneficial to them. I trust deeply and expect no less in return. I don't expect my loved ones to report to me. The point is, I just don't believe anybody has a right to know what's in the confines of my head. Oftentimes people seem genuinely convinced that one's thoughts, opinions, plans belong to them.
Likewise, people who talk a lot, especially about private things (but also, about extremely irrelevant stuff) set my teeth on edge.

Agreed!


http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i232/YamPuff/im%20holllowz_zpsx9ddh2gp.png~original

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#12 | Back to Top04-12-2016 10:09:55 AM

Astrinde
Tenjou Tilter
From: New Orleans
Registered: 01-26-2016
Posts: 89
Website

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

I find music piped over speakers in public facilities to be invasive and spooky.  I know that probably it's just a profit-motivated practice, aimed at bolstering pleasant feelings and promoting sales.  But once I started paying attention to just how frequently I was exposed to music I didn't want to hear, I grew increasingly irritated by the noise.  There's an eerily dystopian air to it all, too, as though the sheeple need constant lulling with sound.  What's wrong with silence?

I also have a weird habit of checking my waistline every time I look in a mirror - like sudden weight gain might have happened in the few hours since I last looked? - and am trying to be more diligent in my running routine instead of obsessing over my reflection.

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#13 | Back to Top04-12-2016 10:47:15 AM

Nocturnalux
Qualified Duellist
From: Portugal
Registered: 09-10-2007
Posts: 741

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

I completely agree that music in public places is less than pleasant. Elevator music is perhaps even worse and truly pointless. Does one really need to listen to a snippet of music while riding the elevator?

I too tend to check my reflection in the mirror but it's more to see if I've gained any muscle definition since the last run.

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#14 | Back to Top04-24-2016 10:27:37 AM

CarolineWellwater
Mikage Mistruster
Registered: 10-18-2015
Posts: 67

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

(( Things that give me positive hang-ups:

1)  Freshly mowed grass

2) That machine-noise that doors make, when they close properly.  I guess, in general, a machine-like cha-chink sort of ratcheting noise

Things that oddly bug me:

1) Using Decimate when you mean Anihilate

2) Doing Good vs Doing Well

3) It is I... not It is Me

Anyway, just wanted to post something, since it has been a while. ))

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#15 | Back to Top04-24-2016 08:16:46 PM

Decrescent Daytripper
Best Disney Princess
Registered: 04-09-2007
Posts: 2791

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

I'm way over-sensitive to the suggestion female characters are just there, or should only be there, for straight guys to fap to. Be it from the world's dumbest Sakura Wars review to people talking on facebook about a biographical comic, "I can't fap to it, why should I care?" or "Women are stinking up my entertainment, I don't fap to women, why do they have to be there?" misogyny just bugs the crap out of me.


My Brain is the Wakaba and Shiori Funtime Hour. With limited commercial interruption.

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#16 | Back to Top04-24-2016 11:26:55 PM

Flah
Belladonna Buster
From: British Columbia
Registered: 09-05-2013
Posts: 211

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

Decrescent Daytripper wrote:

I'm way over-sensitive to the suggestion female characters are just there, or should only be there, for straight guys to fap to. Be it from the world's dumbest Sakura Wars review to people talking on facebook about a biographical comic, "I can't fap to it, why should I care?" or "Women are stinking up my entertainment, I don't fap to women, why do they have to be there?" misogyny just bugs the crap out of me.

I've always wondered about that kind of reasoning. If you want to wank to something, there's this thing called porn which is more easily accessible now than it ever has been in all of history. I personally prefer to keep those two forms of entertainment separate. I learned the psychological consequences of not doing so way back during puberty.


Somewhere, there is an unplugged toaster sitting on a Coleman stove.

Does it feel lonely?

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#17 | Back to Top04-26-2016 11:28:44 PM

Giovanna
Ends of the Fandom
From: Edmonton, AB
Registered: 10-12-2006
Posts: 8797
Website

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

Flah wrote:

If you want to wank to something, there's this thing called porn which is more easily accessible now than it ever has been in all of history.

To play Devil's Advocate (ahahahahahaha, get it*) I think there should be figures in regular media that are sexually appealing...maybe even designed primarily with that in mind. The normalization of sex and keeping it open and not marginalized as some big dirty secret is important to me, which means that I do think 'wank material' shouldn't be relegated to the background in pornography where it's the only point to the exercise. It implies that sexuality and interest only exist in the narrow context of the act of sex, with everything around it simply the 'I'm the repair man, I'm here to fix your pipes' pretext.

I'm not saying they should only exist for that reason, but I don't think there's anything wrong with designing a character with sex in mind--only in designing them to pander to that at the expense of any other characterization. Utena does this beautifully--Touga is designed, and even written, as a stereotypical sex appeal insert into a shoujo anime. Bayonetta is designed to be a stereotypical, even exaggerated sex symbol. And yet both are used to subvert their own tropes and develop surprisingly dynamic characters.

For me, I can't get turned on by porn or even erotica unless there's an interesting character or context, and that's not something aimed for there. I would have to, arguably, become more sexist to get anything out of porn--now my interest will rely on an attractive body or huge penis, when before it was more nuanced, and actually about neither.

I do totally understand you and DD though. I guess I just feel the way to fix it isn't not to do it, but to do it and point out how bullshit it is. Kind of like how race is often a subject in standup comedy-putting it in your face and showing you how absurd it is I think does more than avoiding it. But that's just me.

*Maybe not, if you don't know me. school-devil


Akio, you have nice turns of phrase, but your points aren't clear and you have no textual support. I can't give this a passing grade.
~ Professor Arisa Konno, Eng 1001 (Freshman Literature and Composition)

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#18 | Back to Top04-27-2016 12:25:46 AM

Flah
Belladonna Buster
From: British Columbia
Registered: 09-05-2013
Posts: 211

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

I might have been a bit too blunt there. I don't disagree with what you're saying. It's just that, when someone does judge the quality of a given work solely on how easy it is for them to etc-saiowank or etc-jurishlick to it, they wind up displaying to me how shallow they are (and, believe me, I can be a pretty shallow guy myself). Fapability (is that a word?) can be a factor on whether you like something, but it shouldn't be the only thing (unless that's what it's designed for, of course).


Somewhere, there is an unplugged toaster sitting on a Coleman stove.

Does it feel lonely?

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#19 | Back to Top04-27-2016 12:18:19 PM

satyreyes
no, definitely no cons
From: New Orleans, Louisiana
Registered: 10-16-2006
Posts: 10328
Website

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

Mmm hmm, yeah, Gio, I don't think DD or Flah was complaining about sexualized characters in media.  That's a whole different discussion. emot-smile  The complaint is that some people watch a TV show and are like "there were girls and they didn't take off their clothes, 0/5, would not watch again."  Mind you, I think it's very possible that the media have conditioned us -- or at least some of us -- to evaluate female characters that way no matter what the context is.   Still, I would like to think that we can expect adults to be a little more self-aware than that. emot-rolleyes

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#20 | Back to Top04-27-2016 07:03:30 PM

Decrescent Daytripper
Best Disney Princess
Registered: 04-09-2007
Posts: 2791

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

satyr's got it. I'm all for sexualized characters, in the right place and time, and I'm all for being turned on by fictional people, but dismissing a character or show entirely because it's not fappable... I have a little fit over that. Not just because not every character has to be to your (or my) sexual tastes, but because we all have different tastes, too.

Which, I guess, is another hang-up/bugaboo of mine: "They're not really turned on by that, They're just pretending to be funny/weird/w'ev." That'll get dramatic Bugs Bunny-esque gestures out of me.


My Brain is the Wakaba and Shiori Funtime Hour. With limited commercial interruption.

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#21 | Back to Top04-27-2016 09:29:27 PM

Giovanna
Ends of the Fandom
From: Edmonton, AB
Registered: 10-12-2006
Posts: 8797
Website

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

Thought of one. I absolutely hate listening to people talk about losing weight and going to the gym. Since I'm a nurse, I hear this for hours on end, and instead of it riling me up or encouraging me, it just makes me feel defensive and like YA WELL FUCK YOU. I find my own weight issues to be very personal so it's almost like overhearing TMI relationship crap when I hear it. But I know I'm being ridiculous so I can't say anything.

I do actually legitimately get annoyed when I'm standing there and some 100 pound nurse complains about how fat she is. I know they're entitled to say whatever they like but it seems like a social awareness thing. I don't complain about being ugly when I'm standing next to someone whose face got beat in with the ugly stick. It's just insensitive. Especially when I suspect it's actually more of a humble-brag than a real worry for them. emot-mad

satyreyes wrote:

Mmm hmm, yeah, Gio, I don't think DD or Flah was complaining about sexualized characters in media.

I see that now! Sorry guys! I've been just short of brain dead the last couple weeks, reading comprehension not so much a thing.

satyreyes wrote:

"there were girls and they didn't take off their clothes, 0/5, would not watch again."

I think the mixup came for me in that while I'd never rate based on that and say something is an inferior product if it doesn't pander to my vagina, I have to admit if you ask me what I enjoy watching, I can't actually think of many things I enjoy that don't involve some shameless appeal to my horrible taste in men.* I guess you could say my Id thinks this way, and I do select for things that turn me on. But I have enough self-awareness to realize that's got nothing to do with the quality of a thing, so I wouldn't say "The suits were cheap and no one was an asshole, 0/5."

So I guess I got weirded out because I am, internally, probably pretty close to what's being criticized and I got all lame and defensive. emot-rolleyes

DD -- Holy shit do people really do that???? I'd said some weird shit to people and never had that card laid down. It sounds like some high school level defensiveness.

*Interstellar. Lord of the Rings. S'about it.


Akio, you have nice turns of phrase, but your points aren't clear and you have no textual support. I can't give this a passing grade.
~ Professor Arisa Konno, Eng 1001 (Freshman Literature and Composition)

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#22 | Back to Top04-27-2016 10:21:35 PM

satyreyes
no, definitely no cons
From: New Orleans, Louisiana
Registered: 10-16-2006
Posts: 10328
Website

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

Giovanna wrote:

I think the mixup came for me in that while I'd never rate based on that and say something is an inferior product if it doesn't pander to my vagina, I have to admit if you ask me what I enjoy watching, I can't actually think of many things I enjoy that don't involve some shameless appeal to my horrible taste in men.* I guess you could say my Id thinks this way, and I do select for things that turn me on. But I have enough self-awareness to realize that's got nothing to do with the quality of a thing, so I wouldn't say "The suits were cheap and no one was an asshole, 0/5."

Right there with you. emot-smile  I sure don't complain when something appeals to my prurient interest as well as other interests.  I even watch bare-facedly pandery stuff sometimes, because goddammit, libido is as legitimate a need as any!  school-devil  But if I have a need that this show is not meeting, that doesn't make it a bad show, it just means I should watch a different show.  (Or not read a biographical comic looking to get my rocks off.  Sheesh!)

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#23 | Back to Top04-27-2016 10:28:01 PM

Decrescent Daytripper
Best Disney Princess
Registered: 04-09-2007
Posts: 2791

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

Giovanna wrote:

DD -- Holy shit do people really do that???? I'd said some weird shit to people and never had that card laid down. It sounds like some high school level defensiveness.

There was a whole thread on my facebook wall, of all places, involving a couple former IRG posters (but still totally IRG fam) when fb started letting your friends friends comment and see stuff, where other people's fb friends took issue with the idea anyone finds John Waters legitimately attractive.

Which, really, if that's where you draw the "it's impossible" line...

Someone did get to do an entire Green Eggs and Ham pastiche about jumping John Waters, though, so it had its up side.

Most commonly, though, it's just someone who can't fathom male bisexuality.

satyreyes wrote:

Or not read a biographical comic looking to get my rocks off.  Sheesh!

Actual example. Someone was complaining about just that with Oceanerosemarie's The Invisible Lesbian. Which is largely about how dumb and awkward she felt as a kid.

I got on so many high horses that day.


My Brain is the Wakaba and Shiori Funtime Hour. With limited commercial interruption.

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#24 | Back to Top04-28-2016 03:26:21 AM

Dreaded Claymore
Rose Bride
From: Sacramento, California
Registered: 01-28-2014
Posts: 116

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

I don't like being naked while people around me are clothed, and I don't like being clothed while others around me are naked. It feels...unfair.

Once I shared a hotel room with a friend, and she had brought pajamas and I hadn't. (I don't have any because I'm accustomed to sleeping naked.) When I undressed for bed, I was mortified; I felt as if I had done something very rude.

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#25 | Back to Top05-01-2016 03:52:05 AM

Decrescent Daytripper
Best Disney Princess
Registered: 04-09-2007
Posts: 2791

Re: Weird hang-ups that you have

I have to hit pause when someone's about to be humiliated or embarrassed in a movie or show. I put books down for it.

I can watch hardcore sex in a room with friends and not blush, sit through splattery gore in a theater, but be it Utena or Teen Witch, if someone's going to be humiliated by someone reading their love letter, I just die a little right then.


My Brain is the Wakaba and Shiori Funtime Hour. With limited commercial interruption.

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