This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)
fragile, so that he can break them down into pieces like glass,...
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...but he made an exception for Utena, because she had pink hair like he did. Meanwhile, on the other side of campus, Miki...
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...was playing "The Sunlit Garden" for the umpteenth time in a row, attempting to relive his elementary-school glory days, when it finally dawned on him that maybe he should write something new. Thinking he'd start with a name and then write the piece to suit the name, he decided to call it...
Last edited by mercurynin (01-01-2007 10:01:41 PM)
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... "The Maiden's Garden", not realizing the pornographic possibilities of such a title. It was then that...
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...Kozue discovered the 'cookie for sex' deal to sex up Mamiya and as she was in the mood for something cold and stiff, she bought a packet of choc-chip cookies in the hopes of making some woopie!.
Anthy was out in the field milking some cows wearing a very cute milkmaid costume, while Saionji who was far less knowledgable about farm animals, was milking a bull by accident, not that the bull was exactly complain but...
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the bull called a kangaroo to kick Saionji's ass. Suddenly, a cowbell ringed all over the campus of Ohtori Academy...
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...and Touga appeared with his shirt off and his muscles glistening in the sun. Adoring fangirls swamped him, but promptly got stuck to the oil that he'd rubbed all over his body. As he tried to unstick them...
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...Nanami arrived on the scene with a big-ass spatula with the intent of dislodging the squealing girly masses from her 2nd most beloved person, (Second to her darling Utena of cause) her brother, but unfortunely...
Last edited by Tamago (01-02-2007 12:58:30 AM)
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...Saionji decided to pile on, and Touga promptly forgot the squealing, sticky mass of fangirls stuck to him. "Saionji," Touga began as he...
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slowely removed his clothing to the Akio Car theme playing in the background. Miki looked on in absolute...
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...awe. Was this what they were talking about when they had the lesson about rabbits in biology? He wondered if...
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it was possible to get carpal tunnel from playing the piano. His hands throbbed with pain & he looked down at them sadly. Just then, Kozue...
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. . . unleashed her mountainous heap of super-viagra-cialis-and oyster induced chocolate cookies upon the unsuspecting cluster of Student Council members, only to relise that her Mamiya wuvems was not there.
Out of no apparent reason Juri was walking by the same dairy field, gawking at the sight in sheer disgust, and stated, ‘I knew I shouldn’t have sold my hash brownies at the Student Council back off but I was being controlled by . . .
Last edited by Sevelle (01-02-2007 12:55:13 PM)
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... Giovanna (who is able to transcend demensions & the space-time continuum)! It's funny that I got the brownie recipie from...
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. . . In . . . Urgh! Ahhh! Ohhhh! Ahhhh! Urk!' Juri grasped her heart, 'What dramatic irony to have a heart attack in the middle of sentence of giving the mysterious name of the person who gave me the recipe to the Hash Brownies that I think I might have laced with . . . !' Suddenly a house dropped upon the ill-fated and extremely unlucky women.
Utena looked at the house and said in amazement . . .
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..."this totally reminds me of that one scene from the Wizard of Oz..." A stampede of elementary schoolers rushed towards Utena & began to sing...
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..."Revolution" by The Beatles and Touga said...
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..."Everything is gonna be! Shoobee-doo-wa, alright!" Suddenly, all the girls disappeared, Touga's poor singing voice having frightened them off. Saionji stayed, although he carefully held his hands over his ears. It was then that Mikage...
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. . . had the sudden urge to go to the super market and buy coffee mugs shaped like sheep, but had to suppress the feeling when Tokiko . . .
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...told him that Mamiya had a deep fear of sheep. Instead, Mikage bought...
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...his special gas lighter which he had ever since he was a pint sized pyromaniac.
Akio was not a happy chappie with this chain of event for three key reasons, one, there was plenty of nubile jailbait just begging to be jumped and he wasn't getting any good hard loving, two, nobody has gotten around to duelling yet and delays like that are unacceptable and three,...
Last edited by Tamago (01-02-2007 09:44:39 PM)
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. . his vibrator had died in the middle of his alone time and he had yet to retrieve the 8 D batteries to power it. However, he was contempt with the fact that Utena had chosen the red biker shorts instead black dress pants.
Suddenly a miracle happened and Juri rose from the ruined house and . . .
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...killed everyone.
THE END
Or not...?
Ruka, using his zombie powers, revives everyone. Unfortunately, there is a bit of a side affect, which is...
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They all have really bad BO, however Dios . . .
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...has the amazing power of roses! So then everyone smells pleasantly of roses. Sadly, it turns out that Saionji is somehow allergic to non-genetically altered roses (come on, that rose he wore in duels couldn't've been natural!), so Touga must...
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