Oh my Dios! I love this lighthearted approch to what happened next....more please.

Last edited by SexingTouga24/7/365 (03-04-2013 07:51:25 PM)

Thanks to everyone who has commented so far, you have no clue how much I appreciate the feedback! But uh, on with the fic!

CHAPTER 5: cellphones, really



Akio plopped himself down on a loveseat, staring intently at Dios. Dios looked back at him expectantly, but the man remained silent.

“Is there something you want, bro?”

Akio upper lip curled into a snarl. “Not really."

“Then…um…what’s with the look?”

Akio’s fingers drummed against the armrest. “I’m waiting patiently for you to finally leave me alone.”

Dios frowned. “I’m still not done here, and to be honest we would probably get things done a bit more quickly if you would stop trying to throw me out.”

“What else could we possibly have left to do?” Akio grumbled, slumping further down into the seat. “You freed me from my coffin to the Outside World. Congrats. Make sure to help yourself to an achievement cookie on your way out.”

Dios rolled his eyes, grabbing Akio’s arm and dragging him to his feet. “There’s no time to rest. I have to at least set you up with a job before leaving you here on your own.”

“Job?” Akio repeated.

“You do remember”, Touga began, “Back when Ohtori had students and you had a fiancé and a gorgeous, sensual, fabulous hunk of man flesh for a student council president that you happened to be in charge of? That was a job-“

“Touga, I know what a damn job is!” He glared at Dios. “I just don’t see any reason why I would need one.”

“Let’s see. Well, you need a job to buy food, pay the bills, give to the needy-“

“Ha!” Akio snorted.

“Akio, this is kinda important”, Dios said.

Akio dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “All I have to do is walk into a strip club with my shirt unbuttoned and they’ll beg me to take their money.”

“Even with your hair gone?” Touga asked, ripping the bandana off of Akio.

“ARGH! MY NAKED HEAD!” he cried, shielding it with his arms.

Dios shot Touga a look of irritation before patting Akio on the back. “It’s really not that bad. It’s just short, that’s all. I could have gone with Touga’s plan and shaved you bald. Including eyebrows. I think it makes you look quite dignified.”

“I suppose you’re right”, Akio said, shoving Touga out of the way as he headed towards the closet. “You got me some clothes to wear, right?”

“You bet!”

“Fantastic. I’m going to need something sharp to wear.” He picked out a red dress shirt and black slacks, grinning as he ran his fingers over the material.”

“Are you going to need a moment?” asked Touga.

“Of course not”, Akio pulled off his torn uniform jacket, fixing Touga with a sultry gaze. “You’re quite free to watch if you want…”

Dios covered Touga’s eyes with his hands as the other man dressed, earning a disappointed sigh. When Akio finished he looked at his reflection in the mirror and rubbed at his jaw.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a razor, would you?”

“Nope.”

Akio spared his reflection one glance before shrugging. “Whatever. Alright Dios, set me up with an interview, I’m ready to roll.”

Dios seemed to be caught off guard. “Right now?”

“Yeah. Come on before I get lazy again.”

“One second.” Dios reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wrapped box. “I was waiting until you got the enthusiasm to go out and make something of yourself, and I was worried it would take months. But you proved me wrong!” He wiped at a tear and offered the man the present. “Akio, I’m so proud of you!”

Akio arched an eyebrow in surprise but accepted the gift regardless, delicately undoing the silk ribbon. Dios watched him excitedly, bouncing on his toes and grinning widely as Akio unwrapped the present. “Do you like it!?” he blurted out.

Akio stared at the object in his hands with a look akin to repulsion. It was a handheld device, cherry red with an antenna and two large buttons; one white and the other pink. “Dios, what the hell is this exactly?”

“It’s a cellphone that I made. Isn’t it amazing?”

“This isn’t a cellphone!” Akio cried, shaking the device. “It’s half a step up from a dollar store walkie-talkie! Look at this thing, how am I even supposed to call anyone on it?”

The smile fell off of Dios’ face, quickly replaced by a small frown. “Well, the white button with the crown is me, and the pink one is Touga…”

“You’re telling me I can only call two people?”

Dios folded his arms with a huff. “You’ll get a ‘real’ phone when you deserve it.”

“I thought you said you were proud of me!”

“Not proud enough to spend fifty-something bucks on a fancy new cellphone. This prince’s pockets are a bit shallow at the moment.”

Akio seemed not to notice his comment and gave the phone a shrewd look. “Just you and Touga, hmm?” He smirked seductively at Touga, who winked lewdly in response.

“No phone sex!”






Actually, this chapter, the one before it, and the bit I have done for next chapter were originally supposed to be one composite chapter. But every time I sit down to work on it, the darn thing keeps getting to long and I have to split it. The half I talked about last time that I had done is still sitting there, waiting for me to get to it.

Hopefully I'll be able to finish that up real soon, next time we finally get to job interviews!

Bahaha poor Akio.

Never stop doing this. Ever.

Good to know Akio's still got most of his confidence, I suppose.

So this isn't actually a full chapter, it's more of an interlude. A potentially ooc interlude of sorts. But then again, car rides always end up strange in SKU, don't they?

INTERLUDE 1

The city passed by in a blur of people, trees, and parked cars as they cruised down the street. Dios and Touga were singing along to the radio (some current song Akio couldn’t recognize); the former sounding near-heavenly while the latter was more than a bit off-key. Akio slumped against the window.

“Why can’t I drive?” he interjected before the two started another rousing verse of whatever the heck they were singing.

Dios drummed his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat. “You always drive Akio; let someone else take the wheel for a change.”

Akio pouted. “Is that supposed to be some sort of sagely advice?”

“Maybe.”

Akio huffed under his breath, gritting his teeth as Touga began to sing again. “How do you deal with this?”

Dios shrugged. “Super-duper prince powers.”

“That and the opportunity to get your spot back on the universe-wide Prince List.” Touga added.

Akio blinked, a sly smile spreading his lips. “Say again?”

Dios gave a nervous laugh. “You’re so silly, Touga. Why don’t you go back to singing with that amazing voice of yours?”

Akio clasped Dios’ shoulder, nearly causing him to swerve into a lamppost. “You’re not getting off the hook that easily. What’s this Prince List?”

Dios sighed. “The rulers of the universe have a giant list that ranks the best princes from all worlds and all times. Back before the Fall, I was in the number one spot. However, after my little 'vacation' I’ve gone down in the ranks.”

“What place are you now?”

Dios reached behind his seat to pull out a scroll, casually lifting up one foot to steer as he unfurled the roll of ancient looking paper.

“Let’s see…” His face fell as he went down the list. “Oh, for the love of everything sugary and sweet!”

Both Touga and Akio glanced at the sheet. “What’s the problem?”

“That punk Superman’s ahead of me now!”

Touga shifted nervously in his seat. “Well I mean, he is a Kryptonian-“

There was a squeal of wheels as Dios’ foot slammed on the breaks. He turned to look at Touga, emerald eyes ablaze.
“What was that, Touga?”

Touga shrank back into his seat. “I just meant that he has alien powers and some people might think that’s pretty…cool?”
“Pretty cool?” Dios bit out through gritted teeth, jumping into the backseat, next to Touga. Akio calmly slid into the driver’s seat, adjusting the mirror with a smirk.

“I’m just going to take over before we get into a car accident, okay Dios?”

Dios waved dismissively in his direction, eyes locked on the terrified man in front of him. Touga put his arms up in a disarming gesture.

“Dios, I really didn’t mean anything against you. I mean, you're still in the top ten and Superman isn't number one or anything-“

“You said Superman was better than me.”

“No I didn’t-“

Dios grabbed him by his collar, bringing him closer. “Look at me, Touga.”

Touga stared at him warily.

“Can you sense my brilliance?”

“….yes?”

“Can you sense… my power?”

“Um…well…”

Dios’ face contorted into an expression of pure rage.

“YES! YES I CAN!”

“Am I not a prince, Touga?”

“You’re certainly a prince!”

“And I am the best prince. Isn’t that right, Touga?”

“Yes! The best ever!”

“Good.” Dios released his grip and patted Touga on his head with a warm smile. “But if you ever compare me to that wonder bread tight wearing curly stranded block head again I’m going to slay you like a dragon. Do you understand?”

Touga nodded vigorously.

“Wonderful! Now Akio, how much longer until we get to the place? …Akio?”

Touga and Dios blanched, finding the driver’s seat empty. “Oh Dios, don’t tell me…”




Akio tossed his head back and laughed at the top of his lungs, arms spread as if he could touch the edges of this Outside World. It felt good to be back where he belonged, shirt undone revealing his glorious chest, the wind whipping through his hair, adrenaline rushing through his veins-

“Hey Akio!” Touga called.

“Yeah, what!?” he snapped.

“Riding cars like that is dangerous.”

“…right.”






So Dios having a personal vendetta against Superman is now my head canon. Maybe they had some sort of cosmic battle in space. And as to who has the number one slot on the Prince List; that's a secret.


edit: grammar

Last edited by The_Lame_Goat (03-28-2013 12:22:54 AM)

The_Lame_Goat wrote:

“But if you ever compare me to that wonder bread tight wearing curly stranded block head again I’m going to slay you like a dragon. Do you understand?”

Brilliant . . .!!!

How do you even come up with this shit? What strange primordial stew dwells within the recesses of your imagination? What, precisely, are you smoking?

Hand me that shit hasta pronto!!!

Riddle of Epicurus wrote:

I don't really buy the idea of Dios surviving as a separate entity from Akio, but this is so good I don't care.

You're... you're not done are you?

Perhaps Dios really isn't separate from Akio and the poor chairman has gone insane inside that coffin of his

But not to fear, I'm not abandoning the fic, I just need some extra time to get writing again!

Bless you for continuing this awesome work

This is hilarious ...please more! I specially made an account to comment here. Well, I might have made an account otherwise as well, eventually, but your story motivated me to delurk right now! I know it's almost half a year ago you last wrote this but still... ..it's too great and funny to quit! ..Will you continue?

The_Lame_Goat wrote:

RinKuri wrote:

This is hilarious ...please more! I specially made an account to comment here. Well, I might have made an account otherwise as well, eventually, but your story motivated me to delurk right now! I know it's almost half a year ago you last wrote this but still... ..it's too great and funny to quit! ..Will you continue?

Oh goodness, you're making me blush!

Has it been half a year already? Jeez. I feel sort of bad now, I haven't even gotten him to the bar yet. The truth is that this August I started my first year of college, and it has been a struggle to adjust, its been four months and things haven't really gotten much better. I've been trying to deal with emotional problems on top of school work and it's been pretty crazy. I actually forgot about the fic.

I can't promise a speedy update, but luckily the end of the semester is approaching. Hopefully I can cook up a another chapter soonish. I certainly didn't mean to abandon it!

Oh don't worry about it, although I would like it if you'd continue don't let it feel like an obligation. I'm actually in the same boat, kind of, having started a new college and dealing with some emotional conflict, so I completely understand. Good luck with things

Some fic news.

First off I'd like to thank everyone who has read and commented, I know it's been a long time since OBA has seen the light of day but I'm not ready to give up on it just yet. (I at least got to get the asshole to the bar, right?) At the moment I am rereading and editing OBA from the beginning, and hopefully that will set me back on track. I am not sure when new material will be available, but I will start replacing (or reposting?) chapters on here, as well as on AO3 as soon as I get a few of them done. Hopefully, you'll see some more OBA soon!