This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)
#1 | Back to Top03-19-2007 08:38:17 PM
- BioKraze
- Faceless Master
- From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
- Registered: 11-26-2006
- Posts: 8282
Bedside Fortune
Recently, my family went to eat at a Chinese buffet, and we snagged a bunch of fortune cookies. Then I remembered something my mother taught me. When you read a cookie fortune, add the words "in bed" to the end. I'll post some examples, and you folks do the rest!
Impose not a burden in others which you cannot bear yourself...in bed.
You're never a loser until you quit trying...in bed.
One should count each day as a separate life...in bed.
You are transforming yourself into someone who is certain to succeed...in bed.
See? Isn't this great fun, people? 
Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.
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#2 | Back to Top03-19-2007 09:02:25 PM
- mercurynin
- Flourishing Verderer
- From: Honolulu, HI
- Registered: 10-21-2006
- Posts: 638
Re: Bedside Fortune
I do that, too, but I pick between "in bed" or "after sex."
You know our hearts beat time out very slowly. You know our hearts beat time -- they are waiting for something that'll never arrive.
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#3 | Back to Top03-19-2007 09:09:08 PM
Re: Bedside Fortune
BioKraze wrote:
Recently, my family went to eat at a Chinese buffet, and we snagged a bunch of fortune cookies. Then I remembered something my mother taught me. When you read a cookie fortune, add the words "in bed" to the end. I'll post some examples, and you folks do the rest!
Impose not a burden in others which you cannot bear yourself...in bed.
You're never a loser until you quit trying...in bed.
One should count each day as a separate life...in bed.
You are transforming yourself into someone who is certain to succeed...in bed.
See? Isn't this great fun, people?
Wow... your mom is cool and witty 
I'd never thought of that.
Then again, I barely visit Chinese restaurant, so my chances of getting a fortune cookie is SLIM.
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#5 | Back to Top03-20-2007 03:30:51 AM
- MissMocha
- Bettie Page Princess
- From: Tallahassee, Fl
- Registered: 10-19-2006
- Posts: 4632
Re: Bedside Fortune
I got chinese for dinner today! Such good timing.
My fortune: Do not let great ambitions overshadow small success... in bed!
Wow...uhm...how...adviceful. 
The first time you looked at her curves you were hooked
And the glances you took, took hold of you and demanded that you stay
And sunk in their teeth, bit your heart and released
Such a charge that you need another touch, another taste, another fix
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#6 | Back to Top03-20-2007 09:13:20 AM
- Fayli
- Saionji Slapper
- Registered: 03-19-2007
- Posts: 25
Re: Bedside Fortune
When i was in high school, the boys use to always do that at the end of the teachers sentences. Such as;
'Make sure you do your homework...In bed'
'I'm going to grade your work tonight...In bed'
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#7 | Back to Top03-20-2007 05:38:07 PM
- BioKraze
- Faceless Master
- From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
- Registered: 11-26-2006
- Posts: 8282
Re: Bedside Fortune
Isn't it amazing what two little words can do?
...in bed...
Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.
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#8 | Back to Top03-21-2007 04:37:04 AM
- Arki
- Dark Whisperer
- From: Croatia
- Registered: 10-28-2006
- Posts: 1123
Re: Bedside Fortune
Being an asshole can be beneficial... In bed.
(Late night MSN convos tend to produce things like this. :)
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#9 | Back to Top03-21-2007 03:54:55 PM
- Iris
- Queen of the Video Box
- From: The whispers of twilight
- Registered: 12-28-2006
- Posts: 2124
Re: Bedside Fortune
My most recent ones...
"Prepare for the unexpected... in bed"
"You are in a very prosperous time in life... in bed"
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#10 | Back to Top03-22-2007 08:17:09 AM
- Epi_lepsia
- Tragedian
- From: Madrid, Spain
- Registered: 11-26-2006
- Posts: 1429
- Website
Re: Bedside Fortune
Fayli wrote:
When i was in high school, the boys use to always do that at the end of the teachers sentences.
GREAT idea!
- Tell Xuqun we must do the oral as soon is possible.... in bed
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#11 | Back to Top03-22-2007 01:33:17 PM
Re: Bedside Fortune
Arki wrote:
Being an asshole can be beneficial... In bed.
(Late night MSN convos tend to produce things like this.
Any medium of conversation can produce ALL sorts of things... in bed.
Last edited by Hiraku (03-22-2007 01:33:38 PM)
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#12 | Back to Top03-25-2007 07:25:26 PM
- A Day Without Me
- Still Drunk in the Morning?
- From: in the tulip garden!
- Registered: 11-17-2006
- Posts: 1584
Re: Bedside Fortune
Amusing fact: I store fortunes from fortune cookies under the lamp on my bedstand.
A pleasant surprise is waiting for you... in bed.
Many receive advice; few profit by it... in bed.
You can talk your way out of almost anything... in bed.
You will attend an unusual party... in bed.
Someone thinks you are wonderfully mysterious... in bed.
People enjoy having you around... in bed.
You will find comfort in a new relationship... in bed.
Patience is the best remedy for every trouble... in bed.
"I'm bringing paxil back. (Yup)
My HMO might just pick up the tab. (Yup)
I got the tremors and I need a nap. (Yup)
I gave my rent check to them Pfizer cats."
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#13 | Back to Top03-26-2007 12:10:29 PM
- purplepolecat
- Atlantean Singer
- From: Vancouver, B.C.
- Registered: 03-26-2007
- Posts: 570
Re: Bedside Fortune
This looks like the perfect thread for me to delurk in. Hi everyone !
"You will help a friend make it to the top ... in bed!" 
We're here, we're queer, we don't want any more bears!
Honorary Hat Mafia Member
Now Playing: Bear Supply - "I Maul Out Of Love"
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#14 | Back to Top03-31-2007 10:25:55 PM
Re: Bedside Fortune
I had Chinese food today. This is what I got:
"The world will soon be ready to receive your talents... in bed."
Change 'world' to 'end of the world' and I'll be satisfied.
See, even the fortune cookie detected my kink 
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#15 | Back to Top04-04-2007 06:37:21 PM
- BioKraze
- Faceless Master
- From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
- Registered: 11-26-2006
- Posts: 8282
Re: Bedside Fortune
One day, my family was eating at Panda Express, and I SWEAR my father's fortune cookie read thus (without the "in bed," of course):
Buy the red car...in bed
Who the hell thought up THAT one!? 
Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.
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#16 | Back to Top04-22-2007 08:40:09 PM
- BioKraze
- Faceless Master
- From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
- Registered: 11-26-2006
- Posts: 8282
Re: Bedside Fortune
Here's more fun in bed for you folks!
You have the attitude of a winner...in bed.
Your good nature will bring you much happiness...in bed.
You have a charming way with words...in bed.
You shall soon achieve perfection...in bed.
Have fun, peoples!
IN BED. 
Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.
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#17 | Back to Top04-23-2007 09:14:13 PM
- BioKraze
- Faceless Master
- From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
- Registered: 11-26-2006
- Posts: 8282
Re: Bedside Fortune
Since you guys have been good to me so far, here are some more bedside fortunes!
You savor the challenge of satisfying your high goals...in bed.
Discover the power within yourself...in bed.
Have fun with these!
IN BED.
Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.
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#19 | Back to Top05-10-2007 07:43:04 AM
Re: Bedside Fortune
Yasha wrote:
http://ohtori.nu/forumstuff/cookiefortune.jpg
....in bed.
Am I doing this right?
That is awesome!
And no, I don't think that can possibly be right.
"The devil want me as is, but god he want more."
-Truck North
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#20 | Back to Top05-10-2007 08:11:27 PM
- MissMocha
- Bettie Page Princess
- From: Tallahassee, Fl
- Registered: 10-19-2006
- Posts: 4632
Re: Bedside Fortune
"An Unexpected Trip May Lead to Great Things... in bed" Is a trip unexpected if it's planned on relatively short notice?
Hmmmm...
The first time you looked at her curves you were hooked
And the glances you took, took hold of you and demanded that you stay
And sunk in their teeth, bit your heart and released
Such a charge that you need another touch, another taste, another fix
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#21 | Back to Top05-11-2007 12:13:01 PM
Re: Bedside Fortune
morosemocha wrote:
"An Unexpected Trip May Lead to Great Things... in bed"
Hmmmm...
Was there an unexpected date change?
Akio, you have nice turns of phrase, but your points aren't clear and you have no textual support. I can't give this a passing grade.
~ Professor Arisa Konno, Eng 1001 (Freshman Literature and Composition)
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#22 | Back to Top06-07-2007 07:31:45 PM
- BioKraze
- Faceless Master
- From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
- Registered: 11-26-2006
- Posts: 8282
Re: Bedside Fortune
And now, for your pleasure, more examples of twisted logic in bed!
You will spend many years in comfort and material wealth...in bed.
Important events are in your future...in bed.
You will soon witness a miracle...in bed.
Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.
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#23 | Back to Top06-07-2007 07:35:58 PM
Re: Bedside Fortune
Oh, I forgot! I got a couple fortunes the other day...
Soon, someone will make you very proud... in bed.
(wow, I usually think of kids when I think of being proud of someone, so that puts a whole new spin on it!)
Continue your present conversation for some valuable insight... in bed.
(
)
Hat Mafia Member: Ratchedface
Je vais mourir pour l ' a e s t h e t i q u e
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#24 | Back to Top06-09-2007 05:38:26 PM
- BioKraze
- Faceless Master
- From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
- Registered: 11-26-2006
- Posts: 8282
Re: Bedside Fortune
More fortune cookie fun, thanks to tonight's dinner!
You may have a new opportunity soon...in bed.
Your thoughts are highly regarded...in bed.
Beautiful things await you...in bed.
Sadly, we only get three fortune cookies per visit, but I hope they're enough...
...IN BED.
Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.
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#25 | Back to Top06-09-2007 05:54:20 PM
- hyacinth_black
- une personne horrible
- From: Waiting at the window.
- Registered: 10-21-2006
- Posts: 3301
- Website
Re: Bedside Fortune
That was the winrar... in bed...
Here's a few I have...
The best desicions are always the hardest to make... in bed.
If you focus on your goals, you will succeed... in bed.
Keep your head on your shoulders and never lose hope... in bed.
GAWK! Those were strange.
Hyacinth Black: Not much else to say, is there?
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