I went into the series expecting more Utena/Anthy romance than I got. I don't know the series as well as you guys, and haven't really had a chance to overanalyze it as much as you have, and aren't as well-versed in psychology or analysis or anything, but here's my two cents, fixating on a single word from Episode 13.

Utena's first ever duel is called Amitie. I think Akio explains it as Utena defending her friend Wakaba's honour, but I always figured it meant the start of Utena and Anthy's friendship. Well, acquaintance, at any rate. And I know that anime has almost as bad a habit of using gratuitous French as it does of gratuitous English, but since this is SKU and you guys seem to think everything is intentional, I'll indulge my wild fancies and explain them to you. French is literally my mother tongue, but I'm no linguist, so I may be making mistakes. Still, please bear with me.

The thing about French is that there's only one word for affection. The equivalent of the verb "to love", "aimer" could be used for anything from expressing a petty like or dislike (I like cheese) to platonic affection for a friend, or heartfelt romantic emotions to a lover. The French word for friend is "ami", but the equivalent of boyfriend is "petit ami", literally "little friend". The French nouns for friendship and love are different (amitie and amour), but amitie used to be the word for love, too. Here's where it gets interesting: amour and amitie come from the same word as "ame", the French word for "soul". So if Amitie defines Utena and Anthy's relationship, perhaps the best word to describe them would be "soulmates"