This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)
#51 | Back to Top03-03-2009 04:20:39 AM
- Mock Puppet
- Azure Paleontologist
- From: In a dark room.
- Registered: 10-06-2007
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Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
191. Your ranger cannot desinate sting-rays as a favoured creature, moreso if he is modelled on Steve Urwin.
192. Paladins do not have the spell: Detect Virgins.
“Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.”
-A. Nonymous-
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#52 | Back to Top03-03-2009 01:26:31 PM
- Katzenklavier
- Wondrous Sexual Eggplant.
- From: Back of your thoughts.
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- Posts: 1120
Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
I don't care if you've somehow managed to grapple my Disciple of Asmodeus. No, no, no. I refuse to play out the other end of a Steve Irwin move: you can not have your character stick a thumb up his bum. If you had really wanted to engage in homoerotic situations with him that badly, you could have just have just submitted to the whipping. Come on. Leave my villains' arseholes alone.
Offering me plates of cookies won't necessarily save your characters.
Your shapeshifter is now allowed to assume my form.
You can't rape a pie.
"True Resurrection: Jesus Christ" is not a valid spell. Nor is "Summon Michael Jackson" or "Power Word: Ni!".
I don't care if your paladin aasimar female as a +5 Cha. If she wears a chainmail bikini, she'll get a penalty to her AC. No, she cannot bounce metal off of her enormous bosoms.
Gazebos are not monsters.
We must go forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.
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#53 | Back to Top03-05-2009 03:06:13 AM
- Mock Puppet
- Azure Paleontologist
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Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
Modified so they will have numbers. I hope you not mind the edit to Rule 193.
Katzenklavier wrote:
I don't care if you've somehow managed to grapple my Disciple of Asmodeus. No, no, no. I refuse to play out the other end of a Steve Irwin move: you can not have your character stick a thumb up his bum. If you had really wanted to engage in homoerotic situations with him that badly, you could have just have just submitted to the whipping. Come on. Leave my villains' arseholes alone.
193. If you want to play out a detailed RP which involves molesting someones assholes, write a fanfiction, don't squick out the other players with those kind of things PLEASE.
194. Offering me plates of cookies won't necessarily save your characters.
195. Your shapeshifter is now allowed to assume my form.
196. You can't rape a pie.
197. "True Resurrection: Jesus Christ" is not a valid spell. Nor is "Summon Michael Jackson" or "Power Word: Ni!".
198. I don't care if your paladin aasimar female as a +5 Cha. If she wears a chainmail bikini, she'll get a penalty to her AC. No, she cannot bounce metal off of her enormous bosoms.
199. Gazebos are not monsters.
“Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.”
-A. Nonymous-
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#54 | Back to Top03-05-2009 05:39:02 AM
Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
200/ You cannot have a club made from a whale penis just you can 'turkey slap' your enemies into submission.
201/ Body piecing do not improve your AC.
202/ If your rogue is trapped in a cell with the 'Crushing Walls' feature, they cannot avoid their grizzly fate by simply using their UNCANNY DODGE ability.
203/ Even thou it is techniquely possible according to 3.5 Rules, this DM will not allow you to combine 'Locate City' and 'Explosive Spell' to create a nuke city attack.
204/ You cannot gain XP by winning thumb wars.
Last edited by Tamago (03-10-2009 04:07:24 AM)
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#56 | Back to Top03-05-2009 11:30:37 AM
- hollow_rose
- Egghead
- From: Ohio
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Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
Tamago wrote:
201/ Body piecing do not improve your AC.
Actually I once had a character who had a belly button ring of deflection. If you get the piercings enchanted with Natural armor or deflection bonus, they can.
.......*is taking this waaaaaaaay to seriously*
20 threads dead so far.
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#58 | Back to Top03-10-2009 04:48:12 PM
Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
207/ The Spell: 'Pass without trace' cannot be used to cash-in forged checks.
208/ YES, the 'Freedom of Movement' spell does require leather thong to be cast and NO you cannot steal it off your party's elf ranger.
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#59 | Back to Top03-11-2009 03:03:03 AM
- Nanami's Rose Groom
- Rose Assignee
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Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
209. If your Bard sings soundtrack from Utena or any other anime, it still doesn't give you the trait "Powe Of Dios"
210. There is no such elite class of Barbarian, known as "Rambo"
"Get back to the surface, where the sunlight is so dazzling"
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#60 | Back to Top03-11-2009 03:51:02 AM
- Katzenklavier
- Wondrous Sexual Eggplant.
- From: Back of your thoughts.
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Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
211. "Chaotic Homosexual" is not an alignment.
We must go forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.
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#61 | Back to Top03-11-2009 08:17:15 PM
- BioKraze
- Faceless Master
- From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
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Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
212. Alignments that sound like they came from 4chan are right out.
213. Memes are considered out of character in any Dungeons and Dragons game.
Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.
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#62 | Back to Top03-12-2009 05:08:02 AM
Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
214/ When choosing a religion for your cleric, Scientology is not an option.
215/ It would be preferable if your character names were NOT double entendres.
216/ Attack names should never start with the word Anal.
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#64 | Back to Top03-15-2009 04:28:00 AM
- Nanami's Rose Groom
- Rose Assignee
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Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
219. "Human Genocide Beam", and "Kamehameha" are not spells you can use
"Get back to the surface, where the sunlight is so dazzling"
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#65 | Back to Top03-15-2009 09:23:22 PM
- BioKraze
- Faceless Master
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Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
220. Threatening a band of merchants with the phrase "Your GP or your HP!" is just tacky unless you are playing the Swashbuckler class kit.
Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.
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#66 | Back to Top03-16-2009 12:51:51 PM
- Riri-kins
- World's End
- From: Cloud Nine
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Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
221. Outlaw of The Crimson Road is NOT slang for menstruation.
(I don't know that much about D&D, so it might only be applicable to a previous edition.)
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#68 | Back to Top03-17-2009 12:25:07 AM
Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
223/ Be thankful that it's impossible for your barbarian to cause your team-mates to have embolisms from dealing with his constant stupidity.
224/ It is impossible to stuff a fully grown black dragon into a 'Bag of Holding', the issue is closed.
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#69 | Back to Top03-17-2009 01:53:11 AM
- Mock Puppet
- Azure Paleontologist
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Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
225. I cannot use 'Sneak Attack' ability as an opportunity to go the grope.
“Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.”
-A. Nonymous-
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#70 | Back to Top03-22-2009 07:49:25 PM
- BioKraze
- Faceless Master
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Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
226. Not allowed to kill the pubtender or the innkeep, no matter how cliched they are.
Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.
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#71 | Back to Top03-23-2009 02:14:13 AM
- Nanami's Rose Groom
- Rose Assignee
- From: Czluchow, Northern Poland
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Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
227. You can not hide from your enemies, by teleporting into your own Bag of Holding
228. A burning strawberry poptart is not a thrown weapon
"Get back to the surface, where the sunlight is so dazzling"
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#72 | Back to Top03-23-2009 08:16:07 PM
- BioKraze
- Faceless Master
- From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
- Registered: 11-26-2006
- Posts: 8282
Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
229. Being a Psion does not give you the right to mind control every NPC you come across for meat shields.
Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.
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#73 | Back to Top03-24-2009 04:28:57 AM
- Mock Puppet
- Azure Paleontologist
- From: In a dark room.
- Registered: 10-06-2007
- Posts: 1207
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Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
230. You cannot get pixie dust out of a pixie with a cheese grater.
“Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.”
-A. Nonymous-
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#75 | Back to Top03-24-2009 10:29:46 PM
- Katzenklavier
- Wondrous Sexual Eggplant.
- From: Back of your thoughts.
- Registered: 09-13-2008
- Posts: 1120
Re: Extra rules needed when playing DnD.
233. Taping an extension to one of your ears does not make you a half-elf.
234. "Bros Before Hoes" is not of Lathander's core princples.
235. If you wish for a dirty wench, you should not be surprised when a hag covered in feces drops out of the sky and lands on you.
236. Dragons do not universally love peanuts. Offering them some will not keep them from eating you.
237. You can't snort pixie dust.
We must go forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.
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