Dear (choose a random friend, someone who can take a joke).
I don't really know how to tell you this, you're a pervert. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in your apartment and I saw you sit on Bill Clinton. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that your Honda sucks. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I never openly mocked Oprah Winfrey imitations.
Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,

-Hiraku-

It makes no sense.

-------------------

Dear (random friend).
I don't really know how to tell you this, you're a pervert. I think I realized it when your dog ran amok at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on the crazy monk. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that I did a sex-change. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of a passionate interest for mice.
Greetings to your freaky family,
Chani

AHAHA.

Dear Brittany.
I don't really know how to tell you this, I dislike you. I think I realized it that night At the Hare Krishna graduation and I saw you sit on my mustard soufflé. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that Extreme Home Makeover sucks. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your neighbor Martin as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break the incarnation as an Eskimo.
Go burn,
Erin

Dear (choose a random friend, someone who can take a joke).
I don't really know how to tell you this, I dislike you. I think I realized it last year in your closet and I saw you sit on my mustard soufflé. I'm sure you're man enough to understand Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your suicide note as a memory. You should also know that I always will remember the incarnation as an eskimo.
Go burn.
- Marianne

OWNED.

Dear (choose a random friend, someone who can take a joke).
I don't really know how to tell you this, I'll join the monastery. I think I realized it When I quoted Santa With Paris Hilton and I saw you Knock out The crazy monk. I'm sure you're Ashamed enough to understand That Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning Our matching snoopy-bibs to you, but I'll keep Your photo as a memory. You should also know that I Was interviewed by the Times about Our friendship.
Greetings to your freaky family,
drea

It makes noooooo sense. Also, the random tense switches hurt my anal retentiveness.

Dear friend,
I don't really know how to tell you this, you're a pervert. I think I realized it when I threw up with George Bush and his wife and I saw you carve your initials into my avocado plant. I'm sure you're middle-class enough to understand That Extreme Home Makeover sucks. I'm returning Your ring to you, but I'll keep My virginity as a memory. You should also know that I Get sick when I think of Oprah Winfrey imitations.
Go burn,
Hayama

Last edited by hayama (09-14-2008 05:38:42 AM)

Hinotori wrote:

This thread is just a clever ploy to find out which ones of us are naked, right?

I knew there was a reason I should have waited until morning to do mine... I wonder if it'd be more funny in the nude.

Memes like this are fun! Okay, here goes...

~~~*~~~*~~~

Dear Sain:
I don't really know how to tell you this, you're a pervert. I think I realized it when I tripped on sesame seeds in your apartment and I saw you sit on my father. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that Extreme Home Makeover sucks. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I will tell the authorities about the incarnation as an Eskimo.
With ease,
BioKraze

~~~*~~~*~~~

Okay, that was weird, even for me...

Dear Steph.
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I have a bun in the oven. I think I realized it when I could detect a bakery smell from my kitchen and I saw you lusting after my sesame seed buns. I'm sure you're sober enough to understand that I'm not that kind of guy. I'm returning my love for baked goods back to you, but I'll keep this wax croissant as a memory. You should also know that I also got tasty pretzels.
Crustfully Yours,
-Tamago-

Last edited by Tamago (12-26-2008 03:21:09 PM)

Dear Kaelyndra.
I don't really know how to tell you this, our affair is over.
I think I realized it when I tripped on sesame seeds in women's clothing and I saw you pour syrup on Donald Duck.
I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that there is no solution to this..
I'm returning your contact book to you, but I'll keep your neighbor martin as a memory.
You should also know that I never will forget the apartment building.

Greetings to your freaky family,
Iris

Dear Friend,
I don't really know how to tell you this, I dislike you. I think I realized it when I tripped on sesame seeds with George Bush and his wife and I saw you ingore the crazy monk. I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that Extreme Home Makeover sucks. I'm returning your old lottery coupons to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I always will remember our friendship.
Greetings to your freaky family,
-Agito-

Dear Movie Akio,
i don't know how to tell you this, but i dislike you.  i think i realized it that night outside of Chicago when i saw you ignore, insult, and pull the clothes off my avocado plant.  i'm sure you're man enough to understand that there is no solution to this.  i'm returning your ring, but i'll keep the oil stocks and your left ear as a memory.  you should also know that i get sick when i think about the Boston Celtics.
good luck on your short-term leave from jail,
Kagaya