Yes, "an", not "and".

This actually didn't even begin as a SKU story, I just had the idea in my head about people dealing with things that can't be understood, and I was wondering how a doctor might react to an invisible patient.  That's where Miki's interlude came from.  There was also a thread about what SKU people might be doing after graduation, something that hadn't occurred to me before, but was immediately interesting...Unfortunately, I couldn't think of a larger plot to build around this, so I guess I kind of chickened out and posted it, hoping that someone else might have an idea...but I'll be good and get back to work on it.  I guess it doesn't make a lot of sense right now, I'll see what I can do.  Thanks for reading it, anyway.

I think it's quite good!  Very interesting how everyone's moved on from the games yet are being drawn back into them again.  And is that Anthy that's the barmaid? Lol   Cute cute.  However, it was hard for me to denote who was speaking, maybe add some "he said, she said" things afterward?  Please continue the story!

The ambiguity of the dialog is somewhat deliberate, but mostly, I hate writing "Juri said", "Touga replied", etc. all the time.  The details of the setting I was sort of leaving until later.  I was still trying to decide what to do with it...but I've got that figured out now.  Thanks, Alex and Ragnarok, for the feedback.

Sorry, asfalolh, nothing more will be heard of the invisible patient most likely.  In fact, I have no idea who she is or what was going on there.

Old School, you say?  What's it like?

It's been quite a while, but I've finally gotten around to writing more. As always, I'm happy to receive any and all feedback. I know it's still a bit rough, but I actually feel like I've got a direction in mind. Here is the rest of Chapter 1, Auld Lang Syne.

        Miki walked out of the Rose Garden Tavern and crossed the parking lot to his car. His pace was rather slow, in fact it would be more correct to say that he strolled toward the light blue Prius. He kept his hands in his pockets and his gaze on the ground. He bore only a slight resemblance now the child prodigy he had been. His once straight shoulders were now hunched and bent, giving him an oddly hollow appearance. When he reached the car, he sat down in the driver's seat, then remained still for a time. His stomach was upset, but he blamed it on the wine.
    An odd sense of relief washed over him. The reunion was over. As much as he loved his friends from school, he was always very anxious around them. He couldn't have put his finger on why exactly, but whenever the conversation turned to his career, his marriage, his life, his palms began to sweat.
    He started slightly, surprised to find his stopwatch in his hand. He always kept it in the glovebox, and did not like to be far from it, though it hadn't worked in nearly three years. Looking at it now, he felt slightly disgusted by the grooves his fingers had worn in the plastic from long use. He almost imagined that he could smell his sweat from it. Shaking his head, he put the watch back in the glove box and inserted the key in the ignition.
    Looking across the parking lot, he saw a group of what might have been college students walking out of the bar, laughing, almost dancing. The blond girl in the middle drew his gaze in particular, the way she smiled. It seemed as if there were no pain in her world at all. She was a short girl, slightly plump and practically glowing with life. He caught himself eyeing the way her blouse slithered along the curves of her breasts and looked up just as she turned toward him. She caught his eye briefly and stared, wide-eyed. Then she smiled at him with that cheerful carefree smile.
    He looked away, uncomfortably scratching at the beard his friends were so fond of mocking. 'Saionji's right,' he told himself as he started the car and pulled out onto the street. 'I don't need any more trouble right now.'
    "It might help if you talked to Shiori." Touga said, looking Juri in the eye. "I'd actually recommend he come see me, but it will take me a few weeks to get my office set up, and I don't know how comfortable he'd be disclosing to me. He still looks up to me too much to trust me that way, I'm afraid." Juri made no reply, continuing to run her thumb across the back of the locket she held in her hand. Her gaze was abstracted, and a casual observer might have wondered if she had even heard. Touga new her better. "Juri," he began and then paused, reluctant to continue. Saionji looked at him, wondering as he always had what was going on in his friend's mind. As the silence grew awkward, he sighed and nudged Touga with his foot.
    "You know, your sister owes me money from last year...she must have avoided us this year, hoping by next year I'd forget it."
    "Then she would be a fool, my friend," Juri murmured, her eyes still vague, "I somehow doubt that you have ever forgotten anything in your life." Saionji's eyes widened slightly and he breathed in sharply, as if he had been slapped. Juri's eyebrows drew ever-so-slightly closer together as she closed her eyes. "Forgive me, my friend...I think I have over-indulged as well this evening." She looked at Saionji thoughtfully for a moment. "As it happens, my flight is quite late tomorrow. I think I might call on Shiori in the afternoon." She smiled then, just a little, "I should probably turn in myself, that being the case. How exclusive is your dojo, Saionji, do I need to fill out an application?"
    "No, it's strictly a matter of invitation for instructors." He smiled too.
    "That's very generous of you, but I fear I am quite rusty. Perhaps after I've gotten back down to my fighting weight I'll be able to consider such an offer."
    "A touch, a touch I do confess" Saionji quoted, hanging his head in mock shame. Smiling again, he continued, "You're welcome under any circumstances, both of you. Perhaps I could convince Miki to start practicing his fencing again as well. I don't carry any European foils, but I could easily acquire a few, and it would be good for my students to study different techniques." Juri inclined her head, stood up and left her tab on the table.
    "Then I suppose I'll be seeing you both soon." she said, smiling more brightly this time as she left the bar. The two men sat in silence for a time. The bartender glared at them slightly and cleared her throat. Both men grinned as they settled up and walked out to the red corvette Touga always managed to rent when he visited.
    "So tell me old friend, what would you say about a patient who went to great lengths to rent a very unusual and very fast car whenever he visited friends? What terrible psychological depravities is he likely covering up?"
    "Well obviously, I'd say that I can't discuss my patients with anyone." Touga replied, smiling as he drove them back to Saionji's dojo, "Besides, it's really no trouble. This particular agency always seems to have one available this time of year, and I like it enough that I always rent it." Saionji chuckled. "My dear Kyouichi, I feel as if you don't believe me!" They drove quietly for a few minutes before Saionji cleared hi throat.
    "Touga, may I tell you a secret?" he asked, looking out the window and away from Touga.
    "Of course. But please allow me to guess first. It's about the barmaid isn't it? I've noticed the way you flinch when she comes to the table. You should ask her out already, I'd guess she isn't seeing anyone."
    "I hate it when you do that." Saionji replied, glaring at his friend. "And you're wrong in any case. It is about the barmaid, but I'm not attracted to her." Touga cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, she's pleasant enough, but that truly isn't it." He said nothing for a pair of beats. "I think I recognize her too. I don't know from where, but school doesn't seem right...and I have this compelling notion that she deserves an apology from me. As if I've done some horrible wrong to her I can't remember...I'd feel rude to ask her about it, and I don't feel that I can say anything at all without knowing, but it does make me uncomfortable." Touga made no reply for perhaps thirty seconds.
    "Do you ever visit the old campus?" He finally asked. Saionjni's face twisted into a rare wry grin.
    "I actually applied for a job there a few months ago."
    "Oh?"
    "They posted a position for a kendo instructor, and I was short of students at the time."
    "They refused you?" Touga asked incredulously. "Who got the job instead, Yamaoka Tesshu?"
    "Yamaoka...Tesshu?" Saionji repeated, laughing. "You exaggerate. No, actually...do you recall Keiko Sonoda?"
    "Keiko...Nanami's friend?"
    "That's the one."
    "I had no idea she had any interest in kendo."
    "Well, that's who got the job." At this point they had reached the dojo. Touga said nothing as they walked inside to their respective rooms.
    "That is the most bizarre thing I've ever heard. Wasn't she living in New York or some such?"
    "That was my impression."
    "Strange...Did you want to talk further about this?" Touga asked, lingering at the door to the guest bedroom
    "No need, I wasn't that upset, just confused. And I know you must leave for the airport in five hours."
    "It's no trouble.
    "I know, but it's not necessary either. Good night old friend."
    "Good night, Kyouichi."

EDIT: typos. Thx, Ragnarok.

Last edited by Stormcrow (07-04-2007 10:34:13 PM)

This chapter was much better then the last.  Maybe I read it incorrectly but.........Shiori is a guy now?

Last edited by Raroy (07-04-2007 09:23:24 PM)

Actually, Raroy, when Touga says he after mentioning Shiori, he's talking about Miki again. I see now that that isn't clear to someone reading it, but using Miki's name there would feel unnatural to me. I'm...still fairly adamant about the invisible girl being purely absurd and having no explanation...it'd have to be pretty good for me to ever put an explanation in and I can't think of anything that good. Yeah, the being-drawn-to-Ohtori I have pretty well worked out, but I won't spoil anybody...

Thanks very much for the encouragement!

That's certainly a valid interpretation of the show, it's just not what I'm going with. There's actually a reason for that too.

Well written, good flow, nice character voices. Also an intriguing idea.
I'm interested to see where you would go with this.
And of course (as a Utena & Anthy fan) I would love to see their hazy memory actually become full-blown in the student councilors' minds...