About a year ago...

The date was October 4th 2005, almost my birthday (being the 9th) i was on top of the world! going through my senior year of High school, having a wonderful relationship with my beloved Mangod Taylor. at exactly 9:30 i said goodnight to Taylor on the phone and went to say goodnight to my mom in the livingroom. i spotted a candle out of the corner of my eye in the livingroom allong with my mom half asleep on the couch. I said goodnight and had no idea of what the night had instore for me.

i was awoken at 1AM Oct 5th by fire alarms, my head dizzy from inhaleing smoke for god knows how long. i got up quickly and tried to leave my room but smacked into the door. once out i saw my mom freaking out at a giant corner of our livingroom engulfed in flames. i had to snap her outta it and make my way outside with her. once outside we realized it would suck to have the fire department show up and see me only in a pair of skimpy undies and topless. we broke inside through the basement and i grabbed a shirt from the laundry. we heard one of our cats crying out in fear. we tried to call her but she wouldnt come down. we ran back outside and when we made it to the front yard, the front windows blew out with a very loud smash. i had to run down our street to a fire box and pull the alarm. i also ran to our neighbors house (my friend Jill..not the assholes in the house across the street from us)

once their they called the fire department and about a half an hour to the whole house up in flames later they finally show up and it takes them till at least 6 to put it out...

i havent talked much about it untill now. all i wanted to do was be with my boyfriend and not go to school. Jill kept me company though. we almost punched some guy in the face for "walking his dog" at 3:30 AM he came over down my dead end street and sat on the stone wall with us watching it like our best friend... (PUNCH!)

Sadly i lost EVERY UTENA NOVIL I HAD! however my DVD's were fine....if you like box-less soot covered crappy DVD's. i also had OST 1 2 3 7 and the movie one...
plus everything else in my room...

I decided to do this because i had a nightmare the other night that made me wake up run for the door feeling lightheaded again screaming "its happening again!"

im not looking for sympathy but im looking for some thoughts on this situation.

aside from losing everything
we lost 3 cats of the 4 we had
R.I.P- Salem-S.J. and Hoshi  (Mother, Daughter and Great Grandson)