This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)
*Later that night*
Anthy: Well I'm off to have sex with my brother.
Utena: *not really paying attention* OK, have fun. And can you make sure Kanae is OK for me. I would really hate the idea of hurting your brother's fiancee.
Anthy: Oh I'm sure that bitch will be fine.
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*Next scene*
Akio: It's time to give the audience a reason to hate me, Anthy. Come here and let me molest you.
Anthy: Yes sir!
Akio: How many times do I have to remind you not to use your movie personality around me? Now come here.
Anthy: *sigh* Yes, Big Brother.
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*Next Episode*
Kozue: Grrr! Miki's talking to another person, so that gives me a perfect right to be a slut.
Miki: Hi Mister Music teacher!
Music Teacher: Well hel-lo, you cute little piece of jailbait. How are you?
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Miki: Er, are you gay?
Music teacher: What ever gave you that idea? I'm not gay, I'm a pedophile. There's a difference you know.
Miki: Why would the school hire a pedophile?
Music teacher: Because the chairman, Akio, is also a pedophile.
Miki: Great, this school is run by perverts.
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*Suggestive shoulder touching of Miki by the pedophilic teacher*
Kozue: Get away from me, random boy toy! *shoves away boy toy*
*Obsessive staring by Kozue of Miki, while she imagines touching his...shoulder exactly the same way as that teacher...*
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*Later that day*
Kozue: How dare you touch Miki's shoulder in front of me?!?! *pushes music teacher down stairs*
Music Teacher: AAHH! That psycho bitch is trying to kill me!
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*Juri appears out of shadows*
Juri: I'd like to say in a round-about and symbolic fashion that I know what you did. Mostly because I was watching.
Kozue: I'd like to say in a round-about and symbolic fashion that I was driven to do it. Because I'm just as obsessive as you, freak.
Juri *sourly*: I'll be watching.
Kozue: Kinky.
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*later that day*
Miki: *knocks at Utena's and Anthy's dorm room* I sure hope Himemiya-san doesn't think I'm a weirdo for this.
Utena: *walks up behind Miki* Hi Miki!
Miki: AAAAAHHH!!!! Tenjou-san! I swear, I wasn't doing anything weird! I'm not a peeping tom! I'm innocent! *blushes*
Utena: Um... OK, do you want to see Himemiya?
Miki: *still blushing* Yes...
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Miki: Oh Miss Himemiya, you're so cute! I'd give anything if you'd pl-pl-play the piano with me.
Anthy: Meh, you're no Dios or Utena, but I have nothing better to do.
*scene change*
Utena: Wow, so you're Kozue. You're more manly than Miki!
Kozue: I'm nothing like him. Now who's the man-stealer with the glasses?
Utena: Oh that's Anthy. I'll bet you two would get along great.
Kozue: You really are the densest character in the show.
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Utena: Huh, how am I dense? Do you not like Anthy?
Kozue: No, I don't.
Utena: *looks over towards Anthy* Why does everyone hate her so much?
Kozue: See, you are dense.
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*scene change*
Nanami: If the egg's shell does not break, the chick will die without being born. The chamber and cage of freedom cherish the chick without showing the vastness of the skies. Break the world's cage!
Juri/Miki: For the sake of revolutionizing the world!
Nanami: I'm filling in for my brother. Got a problem?
Juri: Well you're better than the last vice president, and I don't really feel like taking over.
Miki: I'm too submissive to protest.
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*Later*
Miki: *looking at his stopwatch* OMG! She's late. Something horrible must have happened to her. I must do something! Only I don't know what to do so I'll just fall asleep here.
Kozue: *sneaks up behind him* And now I will rape you in your sleep.
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C-ko: If Miki would ignore his sister she just might quit being as obnoxious as a pushy train attendant!
Utena: Hey, that's my line.
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*Anthy stares some more*
*Kozue glares some more*
Anthy: Well I'll just be going then. To visit my brother.
*Miki wakes up*
Miki: Oh Anthy-san! You are so cute and innocent and so much like a girl I once met in a sunlit garden...except not... Hey, does anybody feel like a milkshake?
Kozue *rapping*: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
Anthy *corrects*: Sunlit garden.
Kozue: Whatever.
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*a few minutes later*
Kozue: *watches Miki and Anthy playing the piano with hate in her eyes*
Utena: Hey, you look just like Miki if he were to go on hormones and get get the surgery to become a girl. Wait a minute, are you is twin sister Kozue?
Kozue: Yes, not who's the bitch playing the piano with my brother?
Utena: *completely obvious to Kozue's hatred towards Anthy* Oh that Anthy Himemiya, she's my roommate. I can tell you our dorm and room number if you want to come visit some time.
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Kozue: *thinking* Damn, this is who my brother is projecting his buried incestuous memories of a younger innocent me onto, a hot domesticated Indian chick? How can I compete? I need to get a bindi and an apron. Or I could just tap that before he does. Maybe in a later episode.
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