This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)
---Scene Change---
Wakaba: *walking beside Utena* I can't believe you won't be rooming with and and instead will be sharing a haunted dorm with Anthy Himemiya and her pet monkey, Chu-Chu. I knew I shouldn't have plagiarized that story of of adultfanfic and gave it to Saionji.
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Utena: Yep! See what happens when you're an idiot? And also, The East Dorm isn't haunted. It's jus really dirty, but I won't know that until standing outside of my dorm and angsting over the fact that it probably hasn't been cleaned since Madame LAMEASS was a student here!
Wakaba: You're right!
------------------Scene Change---------------------
Utena: Let me pose in a number of different fashions while I try and work up the nerve to open this door, even though inside all I'm going to find is Anthy cleaning...Hmmmmm.*poses in numerous fashions*
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Utena: OK! Let's go in to my lovely new roommate, friend, and servant: Anthy. *opens the door* Hi Anthy. Great job on cleaning this place. If it were up to me to clean, this place would look like my closet.
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Anthy: Considering the fact that you're the manly kind of gay chick, I'm going to assume that you're rather messy, but won't say anything because I'm an anti-social cynic with a complex that forces me to tell everyone what they they want to hear, but that'll change after I try to throw myself off of the roof and you stop me. I'll still run you through with a sword, though.
Utena: *stuffing crap in her closet* I'll take your word for it!
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Utena: Well, let me ask the first logical question, but very vaguely, allowing you the opportunity to hardly even answer the question at all! What's up with these duels?
(The_A_Man...take it away!)
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Anthy: *continues cleaning* I can't tell you much, but these duels are fought so that my older brother, Akio, who you won't meet till episode 14, can regain his power he lost years ago. So basically, we are all just pawns in his game.
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Utena: Oh, you mean your brother who you have incestual relations with that I won't find out about till later?
Anthy: *cleaning* The very one!
Utena: Hey, what's that noise that sounds like our doorbell?
--------------Scene Change-----------------
Saionji: Anthy, even though utena won you, I still love you, and even though I know that you only wrote in the exchange diary we have to placate me, I'm still fooling myself into thinking that what you wrote was true. So.....I'm gonna challenge Utena again to get you back so I can continue to smack you up! I even broke out my Billy Blanks Tae Bo tapes!
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Anthy: But you know there is absolutely no way you can beat Utena-sama and that I'll still be engaged to her at the end of the episode, right? So there really isn't much of a point in you dueling her again.
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Saionji: Even though you're cmpletely right, I'mma hit you! *SMACK!*
Utena: *at the door* Hey! Quit hittin her, dammit! She's not in your posession anymore!
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Saionji: I challenge you to a duel again, so that I can lose again, but have a sight hope of winning Anthy back for awhile.
(You do realize we forgot to introduce Chu-Chu, right?)
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(just noticed that.....)
Chuchu: CHUU! *Runs out and attacks Saionji's foot*
Utena: Ohmygawd, it's Anthy's pet monkey Chuchu, who The_A_Man and PrinceoftheLostEternity totally forgot to introduce! He's cute n freaky all at the same time!
Saionji: *stepping on Chuchu* Whatever. Meet me at the sandbox after school.
Utena: You mean the Dueling Arena, right? The one with the hardon reference to Henry David Thoreau's Walden quote?
(Edited to correct a momentary lapse in intelligence)
Last edited by PrinceoftheLostEternity (04-25-2009 11:56:28 AM)
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Saionji: Ya, that's the one.
Chu-Chu: *is a pancake with a footprint on him* *thinking* Damn, I wish I could talk so I could complain about this pain. That Saionji is going to get it one of these days. I know, I'll poop in his food.
(Wait, Chu-Chu is Utena's pet now . I never knew. )
Last edited by The_A_Man (04-25-2009 11:55:13 AM)
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------------Scene Change---------------
A-ko: Why hasn't anyone noticed that we pretty much give the episodes away yet?
B-Ko: Who knows?
A-Ko: Not to mention the fact that we're not really figurative, as was first thought.
B-ko: So you nticed that too?
A-Ko: Totally! Now let's do squats!
B-Ko: But why?
Both: *doing squats* Do you know? Do you know?
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Utena: *climbs up the dueling arena steps* *thinking* Only 23 more episodes till I find the elevator!
Music: The Absolute Destiny: Apocalypse! The Absolute Destiny: Apocalypse! People really like to see you climb up, lots of stairs, Apocalypse!
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(:rofl:Niiiiiiice!)
Utena: *reaches the top* Woah, check out my new threads! Hot damn! And Anthy, all of the sexually repressed teenagers at home are probably touching themselves while they fantasize about doing naughty things to you while you wear that dress before they take it off!
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Anthy: *walks over and puts a rose on Utena's chest* This rose symbolizes lots of naughty things. For example, if you lose it in the duel, it symbolizes that Saionji took your innocence. So good luck.
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Utena: Haaa...Yeah. C'mere and let me pull the Sword of Dios out of your chest, because I suddenly know that that's how it works because I saw it happen once.
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Utena: You're damn right it does! *pulls the sword out* Grant me the power to grant the world revolution, which is nonexistant because this is a fantasy world ruled by a bastard king who molests his little sister!
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Utena: Of course, for the moment I'll try to lose on purpose! *charges*
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Saionji: Now we'll see whose fallice is better!
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Utena: *fighting* I wonder how I can win?
*bright light appears and Dios floats down from the castle and possesses Utena's body with a random rose covers Utena's body. The reason...*
Dios: BOOBIES! *feels up Utena's boobs*
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