This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)
Why not? What does your friend do to show his/her support?
Edit: Maybe we should move this to the politics thread. I genuinely find this interesting.
Last edited by zevrem (07-16-2013 10:52:05 PM)
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My tip: If you are in a friendzone, ask that person out using the word "date". You'll make that clear than your interes is romantic and it's less risky than declaring your eternal love. It's also possible that your friend will start to see you more romantically after hearing that. If you were rejected, treat this as a feedback. Asking someone out doesn't destroy the possibility of being friends for ever, so no excuses like "I don't want to ruin our friendship". Hope someone finds that useful.
From now on, I'll reward myself with this virtual for being nice and not changing the subject. We'll see.
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You'd think I'd have learned this ages ago, but I'm getting to a point where when arguments come up, especially online with people I don't know, I'm trying to ask myself before I get embroiled in the argument, if I can check primary sources. Can I look up the law? The quote? Can I check with an expert or someone actually involved?
And, if I can, and the other side of the argument can't acknowledge those primary sources... I'm out. There's no point in continuing it.
We're all too old, and life is too short, to be arguing with people who won't acknowledge primary or expert sources.
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Decrescent Daytripper wrote:
We're all too old, and life is too short, to be arguing with people who won't acknowledge primary or expert sources.
Ugh, this.
Life tip from my dead auntie when asked whether her life had been a happy one:
Life isn't happy or sad, really. It's about moments. Pay attention to those. You'll know them when you experience them.
And my addition to that:
Don't waste the moment trying to document it. You won't need the selfie, Facebook post, or whatever else. Don't try to plan or expect them. It won't be things like your grad, or your wedding.
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I might be the only human to need this tip, but maybe someone else will need it too.
It, is great too feel sympathy towards others, but not to take anothers pain onto youerself. It can and will hurt you, to the point it can create unhealthy relathionships or make you have what the person you are trying to feel sympathy for. I cant even strech how important it was learning this, so please dont kill me for tipping something so obvious.
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I'm finding this article one giant super helpful life tip.
"What makes call-out culture so toxic is not necessarily its frequency so much as the nature and performance of the call-out itself. Especially in online venues like Twitter and Facebook, calling someone out isn’t just a private interaction between two individuals: it’s a public performance where people can demonstrate their wit or how pure their politics are. Indeed, sometimes it can feel like the performance itself is more significant than the content of the call-out."
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itavin wrote:
I might be the only human to need this tip, but maybe someone else will need it too.
It, is great too feel sympathy towards others, but not to take anothers pain onto youerself. It can and will hurt you, to the point it can create unhealthy relathionships or make you have what the person you are trying to feel sympathy for. I cant even strech how important it was learning this, so please dont kill me for tipping something so obvious.
No, I totally need that advice too itavin. I feel you on that. I act very motherly to my friends and am very empathetic to them, and used to try to alieviate their problems by taking those problems on myself. It doesn't help at all and just adds more pain. Feeling sympathy and empathy is wonderful, but you gotta set the boundary for youself that you can't fix everyone's problems, no matter how much you want to. All you can do is do your best to help, in a healthy way like support and advice. Sometimes just doing the best you can do (for the situation) is what you can do to do your best, or something a lot less jumbled than that. BASICALLY, don't set a high standard for youself to solve everyone's issues. That advice can help the both of us.
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