Guess what, your co-worker has a clean bill of health! Not only they don't have shingles, they also have no roof. This carries over to any building they enter, so you'd need to remember to carry your umbrella around more often.

I wish I could have a cat as a college roommate. That would be cool.

Granted. College, around the world, is free. With no investment deterrent, instead of dealing with a small bit of competition for your field, the job market is swamped with people who are apathetic, buggered and otherwise worthless, not caring about the field but wanting something they can do. Unemployment, even for the medical field, reaches new heights. You're lucky if you can land a job at all, no matter what level of education you have now. Non-private universities are no longer able to keep class sizes down, which reflects on how much effort teachers put in to helping out their students (it's zero). But hey, at least it was free, right?


I wish that I didn't feel overwhelmed, or negatively at all, about projects that I take part in.

Granted. You can take pills which make you perfect in every way but when they wear off the side effects are worse than somebody coming off of cocaine. You become addicted to these pills and are stuck in a never-ending cycle.

I wish to be a mermaid for a day.

Last edited by Riri-kins (04-16-2014 01:07:52 PM)

For every dime you get, you get another dime for the dime that you just received. One dime becomes two, two becomes four, four becomes eight, and so forth. As your wealth increases, eventually the materials required for proper dimes decrease. You notice that the latter dimes are made of a strange, flesh-like material. And strangely enough, your legs do feel a bit lighter...

I wish I could find someone who'd appreciate my sense of humor.

Granted, but only the taste. The texture remains the same, so this means that even if that broccoli tastes like chocolate, each one of the florets will resonate in your mouth. You will experience a slight aftertaste as well... for about 3 days afterwards. And this doesn't even taste like good quality chocolate, just the cheap, oily kind that pops up in dollar stores.

I wish I was able to know exactly when people needed me for things.

Granted! You don't have to do taxes because you are now a hermit! After years of stealing food and supplies from the vacation homes of the wealth, you slowly are forgetting what it was to be human. One day, you are found and put into a sideshow as a wildman!

I wish I could focus better.

Granted! But beware; if you ever step out on a icy lake no matter how thick and sturdy it may be, the ice beneath you will sink in a perfect cube. Unless you have a red chair.


I wish I could just wake up after september ends.

Granted, but then you'd be a lunatic.

I wish I had more energy.

Granted. You get one long staircase just going up, and one even longer coming down, and one more leading nowhere, just for show.

I wish I had my own real, to scale and functional, Metal Gear Rex.

Granted. Everybody that you use your telepathic powers on goes into hysterical panic as thoughts that are not their own flood into their minds. Even when they know what to expect, the reflex is always the same.

I wish that someone else were qualified to work late at my job besides just me.

Granted. As soon as corporate and government interests discover your miraculous garden, they use all of their combined resources to take possession of the land. In desperation, you're forced to melt the flowers down in order to afford the outrageous legal fees necessary to battle them. You manage to reach a stalemate of sorts this way, but every flower must be plucked as soon as it blooms in order to maintain the equilibrium. You are granted fleeting moments when a gorgeous gladiolus or geranium graces your garden, but you are no longer enamoured by their beauty. Instead, you simply see one more source of income and nothing more.

I wish that the Shaved Ice Lounge could see more activity than it does.

Granted, but you were placed into prison when it was discovered you had that ability.

I wish I had a helicopter.

Granted, the X-rays found you've been eating all the lost items in your sleep.

I wish for a glitch.