Granted. With a wet splat, her lips land before you. Angelina Jolie, now lip-less, becomes a horribly disfigured recluse. Together, Brangelina happen to discover that her mysterious injury is the result of your poorly worded wish and do everything in their power to destroy you from the shadows.

I wish my place had a south-facing window.

Oh, you can. It just has not happen yet. You do not know when and you can not be visible again.

I wish I was not allergic to cats.

Granted, you now have a box that makes money. Nothing can go wrong, right? (This link leads to a game that is just that. fake money though, but still the coruption. http://gamejolt.com/games/adventure/exo … ney/36236/)

I wish I could paint the town red.

Granted, but this is the only thing your taste buds recognize.

I wish I had an endless supply of chocolate.

Granted, but they're all fifty feet tall and the only thing they were trained to do is demolish buildings. Your squirrels destroy the city.

I wish I had my own reverse harem.

Granted, but upon your sudden trip to space, you sudden realize that this adventure will be the lesser known of the adventures you have had. Even if you manage to survive the inky invaders, and meet the president, the feeling that you will always be known for your chocolatey failures will always haunt you.

I wish I had a better grip on drawing the human anatomy.

Wish granted, like, over a century ago, by Oscar Wilde, and let me tell you, you did not come out of that novel looking great.  You were kind of a son of a bitch, plus you died at the end.  Then later you were in the novelization of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movie, but you were a son of a bitch in that one, too, plus you died at the end.  You want another novel to round out the series?  How about Dorian Gray Meets Pablo Picasso, a historical novel where Picasso paints you a portrait giving you the ability to live forever, except that everyone can see all sides of your face at all times and you are hideously ugly?

I wish for a mashup of my favorite anime opening songs.

Granted. Enjoy Sweden.

I wish I had enough money to afford an apartment above my normal price range.

And it happened but unfortunately big corporations have already filled a patents in the countries all around the world, started to produce your dream machine and sell it in price so expensive you will never be able to afford it. So you've tried to make it by yourself - they catched you and the fine is so high that you are doomed for the rest of the eternity.

I wish I had all the books I've ever wanted.

Granted. We've replaced Ikarikun's head with a Folger's Instant Coffee. Let's see if he notices.

I wish I could be a robot.

Granted

I wish I had a piano in my apartment so I could play dramatic music when my neighbors start arguing.

Granted (the Rockets, really?). They make it through the playoffs and come out winning the championship game. The city, as a whole, is happy and elated at their team winning, and they congratulate them all over social media. Slowly, however, people understood that they vested themselves in teams when they were winning, and they dismissed themselves from responsibility when the team lost. They didn't even own or directly financially support the teams. This disconnect showed that sports, collectively, are escapist and fleeting. People then dedicated their moments and energetic passion to others, humanity, and enriching the living experience through acts that wouldn't last as just a vague memory. Support for sports dwindled, support for arts rose, and supporting others became driving forces in people's actions. And then, shortly after this change, James Harden, down that he didn't get MVP this year, wasn't watching where he was going and tripped on the sidewalk, landing beard-first into a dog turd.


I wish it would stop raining in my city for 24 hours, then resume its normal cycle upon completion of that time.