This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)
I have a few:
1. Drink 2 gulps of water every 30-45 minutes.
2. Read for at least 1 hour a day. The computer doesn't count unless you read it with the network unplugged.
3. Associate only with those who are generous or in some obvious way superior.
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I only have one. Make someone laugh, anyone. If I can get a person to crack a smile I've done my job for the day, bonus points if they obviously needed a pick-me-up.
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When I come out of days feeling like I got nothing accomplished, I'll think of three things I want to get done the next day. They might be very simple. They might even be things I needed to do anyway. But articulating goals, and then achieving them, helps keep me from going to bed feeling like I might as well not have gotten up.
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Try not to let the things you can't control get to you; only worry about the things you can control.
(This one is obviously not as easy as it sounds to stick to, but I try to let it be my general philosophy on most things.)
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Pay attention to your body -sometimes it's telling you something. I keep a scale in my bathroom to monitor my weight, not to lose any. Sometimes when I'm stressed out or depressed I don't actually realize it, but my weight will drop or increase by about 5 pounds whenever I am. Each morning I check my weight to make sure it's where it normally is (145). I check my arms, chest, face and back for blemishes or marks that can also be a sign of stress or that I've accidentally eaten gluten. I also do these things because I want to keep my immune system strong, and when you work and go to school, both full time, it can be easy to forget to catch the necessary amount of sleep or eat a balanced diet -and thus then when you inevitably get sick you get HELLA SICK.
Actually I have a pretty involved morning routine. (Love routines, hate monotony, if that makes any sense). But having one helps me clear my head and get focused and pumped up for the day ahead. Even putting on make-up. It's like when I do it my brains go, "Lookit me, I'm doing a thing! Those other things I have to do today don't stand a fucking chance!"
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Not everyone is out to get you. Most people are too busy with their own crap.
Keep a backup of everything you post online. If sites ever go down, you'll still have it for your own entertainment.
Always keep your eyes and ears open for inspiration.
Portion size is just a guideline, but it's an important guideline.
Expand your horizons in some small way EVERY day.
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Never walk in anywhere you don't think you can walk out of.
Corollary: When in a new place, always find the back door, the side exits, emergency exits, and then make it a point to only leave by the front.
"Love is not envy." - Simone de Beauvoir
And, to quote Papa, Mr. Hemingway, "Always do sober what you said you would do, drunk. That'll teach you to keep your fool mouth shut."
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I made a Bash script to xmessage "DRINK WATER" every 30 minutes. Also, I now have a French military aluminum canteen that holds a liter of water. On average, I would say I drink maybe 4-5 liters of water a day.
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A new one: whenever you think about breathing, try your best to breathe deeply and into your abdominal area. Over time, this intermittent practice will cause deep breath to become habit perhaps more quickly and more pervasively than regular daily sessions. My theory is that for everything besides food, which in the wild is in short supply, your body's senses tend towards sufficiency/bare minimums rather than optimality. That would fit with the fact that thirst usually sets in after dehydration and not in anticipation of it.
Also, if you have problems with money, record how much money you currently have. Whenever you spend money, subtract 1.7 times that amount from your record. For the truly hardcore, whenever you get money, add .7 times the actual amount. After maybe 2 weeks of that, you'll have conditioned yourself to save up >40% of your money even if you forget to use your record.
I also now realize that my "drink water every 30 minutes" thing is actually kind of freakish in spite of its apparent mundanity. It's very probably that less than .1% of the 1st world population does something like that. My mom thought my "DRINK WATER" program was hilarious when I told her about it.
Last edited by Overlord Morgus (09-30-2011 05:06:44 PM)
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Always look up.
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1. Be honest. Always. Especially in relationships.
- Don't hold on to the little things that bother you and conceal them with a happy face. It's best to get the little things out in the open before they can fester - even when you think your concerns are silly.
- If something honest would be a deal-breaker in a relationship, then you could probably do with a new relationship.
- In dating, if you don't like the other person or they don't make you happy, end it. Don't linger. Don't waste time by talking yourself into staying. Lying to yourself is still lying and there are other people out there to love. You'll only drag it out and make it painful if you can't make up your mind.
- Honesty need not be blunt but it is never passive aggressive and implying something is never a good means to making yourself understood. Be honest and direct in all things.
2. Exercise. 30 minutes. Every other day. Doesn't matter what you do, and you know better than I about what you can do, but I guarantee you'll feel better for doing it. (Brain chemistry is a wonderful thing, afterall. )
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Rotten Mooring wrote:
1. Be honest. Always. Especially in relationships.
- Don't hold on to the little things that bother you and conceal them with a happy face. It's best to get the little things out in the open before they can fester - even when you think your concerns are silly.
- If something honest would be a deal-breaker in a relationship, then you could probably do with a new relationship.
- In dating, if you don't like the other person or they don't make you happy, end it. Don't linger. Don't waste time by talking yourself into staying. Lying to yourself is still lying and there are other people out there to love. You'll only drag it out and make it painful if you can't make up your mind.
- Honesty need not be blunt but it is never passive aggressive and implying something is never a good means to making yourself understood. Be honest and direct in all things.
I don't hear people say this nearly often enough.
If you think you have to hide yourself to be friends with someone, then it's not you but the image you've created of yourself that is the other person's friend -- which is tragic, because often it means you dramatically underestimate the strength of your friendship. Friends can accept a lot about each other, but you have to give them a chance. And it feels a lot better to be accepted than to keep up a facade, which just makes you feel lonely.
I've got an OkCupid account. I've answered an embarrassing number of match questions there, and every answer is honest. I explain a lot of them, and the explanations are honest too. The whole point of an online dating profile is that you want the other person to be able to make some kind of informed decision about whether they might like to go out. If I'm dishonest or hold important details back, I'm sabotaging myself by getting dates who aren't going to be compatible with me in the long run.
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Hold people to the values they claim. If a person that's close to me acts in a way that's hypocritical to what they've claimed is important to them, I remind them and ask why they feel it's okay to go against their ideal. If they do it repeatedly, I take measures to no longer associate with that person, or associate with them much much less. If they go around throwing values or morals like cheap talk, they're unlikely to be trustworthy. Also, I just can't take them seriously or enjoy their company.
Question yourself frequently. You're always growing as a person, and the person you are might confuse you. I believe that a person's heart and a person's brain are two very different creatures, for example- there are people who are good logically understanding people, but have poor ability to relate to them emotionally.
Last edited by Iris (10-29-2011 11:43:44 AM)
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You may harm those who wish for you to be weak.
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One should give one's respect only to Nature, to one's lovers, to great minds, and to fragile things.
Always ask for empirical proof; if none can be given, then one may settle for an exhaustive logical proof.
Last edited by Overlord Morgus (11-02-2011 01:53:17 PM)
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ZOMG use adblock. I am serious, beyond the obvious, it's really, really useful to filter out most of the cruft that makes up one's most frequently visited pages.
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My adivce, and this might not work for every one. But i has reasons
Live by the day. Its nice to make plans, but mostly i just live by the day.
I used to be all super crazy workaholic doing a million things person. Till life was like...grapefruit sized fibroid..you almost die now. After that i was like shit, i worked myself to almost dead. I am gonna chill now...
So i just live by the day. Poptart!
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Try everything once. Except AIDS.
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Whenever you find that you have nothing to do, meditate.
I used to be all super crazy workaholic doing a million things person. Till life was like...grapefruit sized fibroid..you almost die now. After that i was like shit, i worked myself to almost dead. I am gonna chill now...
Why did you work so hard?
Last edited by Overlord Morgus (12-20-2011 10:44:13 AM)
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Oftentimes, altruism is a mechanism of control. If someone claims to do something 'in your interests', it's often best to refuse them the privelege. Be wary of gifts.
Abuse caffeine often and alcohol with slightly less frequency.
Treat your enemies politely & don't be afraid to be cruel to your friends. Too many people get this backwards. If you let a friend impede you, you're doing yourself a disservice by being oppressed and them a grave disservice by turning them into the oppressor. It's not their responsibility to intuit grievances you don't voice, so push back when pushed.
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Never get stuck in the past. You get stuck in the past, you die.
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Never get stuck on the future, either. Spending your life preparing for things can make your life kinda suck.
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If those things never come about, fail to give lasting satisfaction, or take too long to come to fruition, it's because you didn't plan well enough. :p
Last edited by Overlord Morgus (02-01-2012 10:33:10 AM)
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You could say that, yes.
Or they can turn out pretty much exactly the way you wanted, and you can be totally pleased with them, and still realize it wasn't the wisest long term life decision. But that goes back to not dwelling on the past.
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Act classy, even when doing unclassy things.
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