Oh for fuck's sake.

My little brother knew aaaaallll about sex when he was five. A little girl on the schoolbus told him every little detail she knew. Y'gonna ban schoolbuses now, parents? Contact with other children? Because every peer is a learning opportunity on every subject, and if you're so fucking hard-pressed to repress your children you may as well say they are only to be in single-form cubicles with no contact to the outside world. Just saying.

DEAR LORD. It's things like this that make me want to renounce teaching altogether if I can't even get parents to allow their kids to use a goddamn dictionary. I'm beginning to think that certain Christians see the concept of knowledge itself as being a fall from grace, and sex is only the worst part of it. Besides the fact that YOU ONLY LOOK UP WORDS YOU ALREADY KNOW. I'm pretty sure I'm the only weirdo in every school I've ever been in that read through the dictionary for fun, and those nerdy kids generally aren't doing it to run across something sexy.

You wanna know what the most explicit piece of writing I ran into in middle school? THE BIBLE. And I was not particularly sheltered. I was just the daughter of an athiest in Catholic school(the public schools around here vary wildly in quality; a ridiculous amount of kids in Louisiana go to Catholic school) flipping through the Bible when my teacher was going on about something in Religion class and BAM! SONG OF SOLOMON. It's an extended ancient Jewish version of Barry White. I seriously think I'm going to keep a Bible on hand just in case an overly sensitive nutjob parent gives me flack about something being 'appropriate' for their child. Whatever the heck I'll be teaching doesn't come close to "your breasts are like towers" and such.

When I was in elementary school, we had "baby dictionaries" full of the sort of words adults expected third and forth graders would be interested in knowing. And they were UTTERLY USELESS. Kids need access to words. Not just the words they already know, but newer, more specific, more useful words. This is the age when they're building up something resembling an adult vocabulary. Let's put something else in the way of that!

OH MY GOD!!!
I hate humanity. We've gone straight down the shitter. I blame conservatives. (The children should find out sooner rather than later anyway. Kids just accept things better...)
Edit: And I believe it's found under it's technical name in the dictionary. Everyone say it together now: Felatio.

Last edited by Aya (02-01-2010 05:02:11 PM)

Hey, you forgot cunnilingus. Which is awesome because of all the cunning linguist puns it gives us.


I think we have issues on censorship here. Other countries ban violence, others ban pubic hair, while we, ban sex if oral proceeds it, or sex if it involves two men or women.

Excuse me, I need to go virtually decapitate people.

I remember when I first heard the word cunnilingus, I thought it meant a person who could speak in many tongues. Ironically I was not far off the mark.

We all know that whenever you ban something, the chances are that people would want it more, so I believe that this is a form of reverse psychology in the attempt to get kids interested in using dictionaries more.

SNEAKY BASTARDS!