We have the photocopies of the licenses too. Just in case it wasn't believed. One of my drinking buddies at work toasted them the night it happened  because he thought it was the best thing he'd ever seen here.

Ok, here is a story from my school.

I'm really smart, and I'm not trying to brag, but it explains why a kid would ask me for answers and stuff.

So here I was sitting at a table in my math class. I was sitting next to my friends. We are all pretty smart. In my school in my grade everyone is in the same math class(we have a small school). Even the stuipid kids are in math with us. Our teacher had just assigned us our math homework and was giving us the rest of math class to do it. So my two friends were working together. (I prefer to work alone) Just then, everybody starts asking us what the answers are for the questions. My two friends were giving them the answers so they would shut up. I myself was ignoring them. My math teacher was sitting at her desk seeing that the kid next to me wasnt doing his work. I honestly don't know why she wont help him herself, but she told me to get up and help him. So I got up, and explained to him how to do the problems. Then I did one for him and told him how I got that answer. He nodded and I asked him to do one for me. He did the problem, but I had to remind him what to do sometimes. Then I asked him if he got it and he said yes. So I sat back down and started working again. He then asked me what the answer was for the next question. I said don't you remember how to do it. He said no. I explained it to him again. He said he got it. I sat down to work again. He asked me the answer. I asked him if he remembered how to do it. He said no. I just looked at him and said "Do it yourself." He said he didnt know how to do it. I told him that I explained it to him two times already. He just shrugged and sat there doing nothing. God, that kid pisses me off! Here, I went out of my way to help him and he doesnt pay attention! Seriously! So I just ignored him and kept on working.

Well, I work in a tiny grocery store at my university.  It's so small, three people come in at the same time its crowded.  It's a pretty good university, I wonder how some of the customers got in.

What's really Ironic sometimes are the rich kids that walk into the store with bags from the Lord and Taylor, Saks Fifth Ave, and Burberry.  They complain to me, the lowly store clerk, the price of the king size candy is too expensive.  They spent $1000 on one t-shirt and they're freaking out about 10 cents.  That's extreme to me, I don't know about anyone else.

One time this girl and her boyfriend walk into the store.  The boyfriend is being so nice to me, and he smiles and acts like one the best customers I've encountered.  The girl gets jealous I don't know why, because I'm rather homely in appearance.  She starts feeling the guy up while I'm ringing him up and she kisses him right in front of me.  They walk out and she throws an icy stare at me.  All of what she did was unneccessary.

Thread necro, sorry.

So, long story short, I was walking back from the boat docks about 10 minutes ago. The walkway goes behind the hot tub, and if you're quiet, the people in the hot tub won't even know you're there. So I'm walking past, I'm quiet, and there's these two chicks in the tub, with a couple beers and stuff littered arounf them.

Chick 1: It's so hooooooooooot... (well, it's a freakin' hot tub, duh!)
Chick 2: Yeah, I'm glad I shaved.
C1: Yeah, me too.
C2: I need to visit Michelle when I get back, the sun is killing my color.
C1: Oh me too. My pubes have split ends.
Me: ...

Sorry, no, that was last week. I came across two chicks making out in one of the other hot tubs. And a couple weeks back we had to get security out there 'cause some kids were screwing out on the boat dock. You silly people, you pay so much money for a bed, why aren't you screwing in it? Disney's not gonna comp you for the splinters in your ass that you gave yourself.

I didn't know they could have split ends, either.

I had a customer ask me to fax him my lunch once.

Also, I had another customer tell me to bake him cookies, and when I refused, he told me to tell my friend in Colorado (angelicreation) to do it.

Now, this story isn't mine, but this is the funniest thing I've heard from work ever. I have a friend, whom I shall call Monkey because that's what I call him in real life, who did the best thing ever. Keep in mind, he has no real accent compared to americans.

Bitchy american customer =
Monkey =

: Welcome to _________, how can I help you?

: THANK GOD, AN AMERICAN, FINALLY!!!! Do you know how long I've been talking to those goddamn pakis? I told them over and over, I want to talk to an american!!!

: Um... Well... I'm not an american, I'm a Canadian.

: WHAT?!?!?!? YOU TRANSFER ME TO THE NEW YORK DIVISION RIGHT NOW!!! I KNOW THEY HAVE OFFICES THERE!!!

:*looks back in the case notes and sees three transfers because they refused to deal with anyone who wasn't american* Sir, there's no guarantee that you'll get an american if I transfer you, and I can help you get your computer running again--

: AUGHSADIHSODIJGALSDRFKGAEWRE TRANSFER ME TO AN AMERICAN NOW!!!!!

: Really, sir, I can help you--

: AIOSFHAQPIEJTQLEQPWOFDAJDFKSLRTW TRAAAAAAAAAAANSFERRRRRR!!!!!!!!11

: *thinks* All right, sir, there's one place I can transfer you that does have american agents.

: THANK GOD FINALLY WPEIALKDFAERJSFDGKSFG

: *Transfers to the Spanish-speaking queue*

::cracks up:: Does he want lots of sex? 'Cause I'll totally give it to him. That's the best ever.

necronecronecro!

Mr. Blank came to the desk today upset with his car having been hit by one of the arms at the gate house. Mr. Blank apparently tried to follow another vehicle in as they entered the “guest key” entry and was hit by the arm. According to Loss Prevention, Mr. Blank exited his car, approached the gate, and began yelling profanities at the team member. Mr. Blank returned to his room and called down to speak with the front desk manager. An offer was made to have a loss prevention officer go to the guest to take a report, but Mr. Blank refused as he stated he was in a hurry to get to the park. Loss Prevention did go to his rental vehicle and took pictures. After inspecting the vehicle, they could not see any visible damage. Unfortunately no call was placed to Mr. Blank after the inspection and he came to me to discuss the event. Having no information on this, Mr. Blank had to go over his story again and expressed his disappointment that I did not call him personally. I asked Mr.Blank if I could take his information on a report and he told me that he was in a hurry to get to the parks and would let us know if there was damage to his vehicle. Mr. Blank had already checked out at that time and made it clear that he did not want to speak about the issue anymore.

From our daily manager's report. I must admit, I lolled. Our gate arms aren't sensor activated. They will come down on your car, no matter what. I love reading about idiots like that, although dealing with them is another matter entirely.

Gst came to desk with several complaints about her stay and very upset that she did not have an express check-out on her door. SJW tried to explain that because she was a direct bill [i.e., had boked through expedia-mm], they didn’t print automatically. She then complained loudly, saying that this wasn’t a “real Hilton.” She became even angrier when another guest came down to the desk with an express check-out. She also complained that the dryer didn’t work and asked for laundry bags for her wet clothing. SJI gave her 2 like she asked for, and guest got mad that they were small. She requested a business card to “make sure that she would talk to someone.”

What I didn't include in that report is that the woman kept yelling at me and SJI about how it was "real cute that [you] could be so fucking relaxed about everything!" Well, yeah, lady. You think I'm gonna panic about laundry bags? Get a freaking grip. I had a guy die. Your mental issues are not my problem.

Last edited by morosemocha (11-19-2007 03:43:09 AM)

ew

MissMocha wrote:

I mentioned this ina message to Yasha, and figured I ought to share it with you guys,

"I deal in last names. Stankavage, Assenheimer, and the day that Mr. Cox rear-ended Mr. Beaverson in the parking lot all live in infamy. "

Others that live on? Manuel Hung, Rong Ho, and Richard Dicks. We keep a file of the good ones.

Just a lil' somethin' somethin' to brighten your day.

I should've kept a running file of all the names I came across working for the blood bank!  I remember calling a few Butts, and yesterday (my last day on the job) I got a Slutsky.

Gio, you win at life for your AWESOME LINE. Just saying.

Nothing really entertaining from my restaurant lately, though I work tomorrow so I may have a story from that.

I wish I could tell the weird work stories I have. But I spend the day captioning people's private phone calls, and it wouldn't be very nice (or job-conscious) of me to tell some of the funny stuff I've heard.

But the voice recognition system does come up with some funny errors. Such as:

Pennsylvania: WrestleMania
fix the thing in here, but... : fix the thing in your butt
get good directions: get good erection
cleaning out my garage : cleaning out my crotch

Love that 4th one, there, Reanna
How do you get ahold of something like other people's phone calls, though?