When She Finally Found Her…
by sharnii

When she finally found her, she watched her. She did nothing more than that. Eons of deceptions had taught her caution. Watching before acting. Patience before regret.

Remarkably it had taken only six month’s of searching to find Utena. To Anthy, something didn’t sit quite right with that. On the outside the "prince" appeared unchanged. Anthy sat and watched her from the back of the new classroom (which was exactly like every old one). The witch wore a veil.

“Cultural religious reasons,” she had murmured to the irate secretary upon admission, her voice muffled by the veil that only revealed her eyes. Anthy had also thought it wise to wear contacts; she’d chosen violet. Utena might be…of innocent mind…but not even she was entirely unobservant.

“Tenjou!” snapped the teacher. “Pay attention!” Anthy watched how Utena was leaning on her hand and staring out the window. The sky blue eyes were oddly vacant. Utena nodded at the teacher, but resumed her staring a moment later.

She looks sad, Anthy thought. Just like Anthy had been her entire wretched life. I could watch her forever, thought Anthy next. She didn’t know why. It was just, everything that Utena did was…unexpected. She never did things the way Anthy would of, in her place.

When the class ended the witch paced slowly behind the former prince. Utena went to her locker. She stood there a long time, resting her head against the metal door. This made it hard for Anthy to remain inconspicuous. The next period had started; students were filtering away all around. Finally nobody was left but Utena, and opposite her fiddling unconvincingly in a conveniently open locker, Anthy.

“Why are you following me?” asked Utena, without turning around. Anthy turned though, and stared at her former friend assessingly. Utena’s shoulders were slumped. There was no suspicion in her so-familiar voice.

There should be though, thought Anthy. Because nobody does something for no reason at all. Not even Utena.

Aloud she answered softly. “You seem sad.”
“Yeah, I am sad,” admitted Utena. “But I don’t know you. So why should you care?”

That’s an uncharacteristic thing for her to say, thought Anthy. I wonder if it’s the swords talking? Are they here in this world? It was so strange to the witch not to be able to pinpoint their location.

“I just care about people,” she lied carefully. “So that’s why I noticed.”
She wished Utena would turn around so she could look into those wide blue eyes, to check if the girl was convinced.

“Really?” asked Utena. “Hmm. I used to know there were people like you. But I think I forgot.”

“Then it mustn’t have been important,” said Anthy.  She stared at Utena’s bowed shoulders, willing her to turn around. Slowly, grudgingly, Utena turned.

“I’m new,” said Anthy. “Have you been attending here long?”

Utena scratched the back of her neck, in a gesture so familiar it made Anthy’s stomach flip-flop. It was like something that had flickered constantly in the corner of her eye for six long months, but now it took place right in front of her. She noticed the prince looked tired. Just like Anthy had been her entire wretched life.

“No,” said Utena. “Only for about six months.”

“Oh,” said Anthy. And next, as though it was a perfectly reasonable question: “where did you go before that?”

“Aren’t you worried about being late?” asked Utena, glancing down the empty hallway. “You could get in trouble.”

“You don’t seem worried,” countered Anthy.

“There are worse things in the world,” said Utena, and she sounded like she meant it. Anthy hissed a little under her breath. This…this was new.

“So…your old school?” she prompted again. She was not going to let this opportunity go.

“Ohtori Academy,” said Utena, looking down at one hand. Anthy followed her gaze to the circlet of pale skin on her ring finger. Her own fingers clenched, then relaxed.

“I’ve never heard of it,” she lied.

“It’s a very strange place,” admitted Utena. She sighed gustily. “Yeah, a very strange place. I wouldn’t recommend it. A lot of bad things happen there. And there’s a lot of bad people…” She trailed off looking a little ashamed, as though it was in bad taste to say as much.

“Bad people,” repeated Anthy. “Yes. There are a lot of bad people in this world.”

Utena glanced up again, surprised.

“Yeah,” she said. “I didn’t know that when I first went there. I was a bit…silly, I guess. Or young, or whatever. But I’ve learned now. Some people are bad. And there’s nothing anybody can do to change that. No matter how much you might want to.”

Anthy’s stomach hurt. At the same time she felt a sense of satisfaction. Hearing this universal truth admitted to was refreshing, considering the source.

“That’s true,” she said. “Nothing ever really changes.”

Utena nodded and looked away. Anthy watched her. There was a long silence between them. Then slowly Utena’s head swung back.

“So what about you?” the prince asked, pasting on what was very obviously a forced friendly smile. “What school do you come from?”

“Oh. Ohtori Academy,” admitted the witch, glancing up at Utena from beneath her long eyelashes.

Utena’s eyes went wide and alert.

“Oh…Oh…Ohtori?” she stammered out.

Anthy paused for effect, then continued blithely. “But I don’t remember you, so we must have been in different grades.”

“But uh, didn’t you um, say you hadn’t heard of it?”

“Hmmm. I must have misheard you,” said Anthy with no loss of composure whatsoever. “I did go there.” She felt a small thrill rush through her. Games were second nature to her, like words with double-meanings. Like symbols and suffering and silence.

“You went to Ohtori?” Utena repeated. “Really? I’m sure I would remember a girl in a veil.” She stopped and blushed. “I’m sorry, I just mean, nobody wore a veil there. So you would be memorable.” She squinted at Anthy. “Did you wear it there?”

“I wore a different kind of veil,” said Anthy calmly. “I had a face that nobody could see through.”

“You…uh…you had a…face…” repeated Utena looking confused. “Did you ever hear of any duels?” she asked suddenly, randomly. “In the forest?”

Anthy smiled, though of course Utena couldn’t see it.

“No,” she said. “Were there duels?”

“Yes,” said Utena, “and I’m sorry, but what do you mean by a face? I don’t understand.”

“Is understanding important?” Anthy crossed her hands behind her back. Utena’s eyes followed her movements hungrily. Anthy watched knowingly as Utena abruptly went rigid.

“H…H…Himemiya,” she whispered. She stood there breathing heavily, eyes huge and disbelieving.

Anthy inclined her head.

“Only if you want me to be, Utena-sama. I can be anyone you want me to be.”

“What?!” Utena sounded dismayed and angry as she took two steps forward and pulled the witch into a rough embrace. “I want you to be you.”

The hug was crushing, and Anthy knew that Utena meant every word. She could feel Utena’s heart pounding beneath one (slightly squashed) ear. She could feel the intensity of Utena’s sincerity. Softly, so softly, this embrace broke through the resistance that was Anthy the witch. Slowly, hesitantly, her own arms came up to encircle Utena. It felt…nice. Safe. Exciting. Words poured forth, honest words. Unplanned-for words, such as had only ever happened with one Victor, and only occasionally, by accident.

“If anyone else said that,” she sighed into Utena’s chest, “I wouldn’t believe them.”

“But?” Utena drew back and her eyes were searching. Anthy saw then that Utena had changed just a little, for the blue was marred by hundreds of tiny flecks of silver. The silver flecks were moving, raining down and down forever and ever. But it didn’t take away from Utena being Utena. Anymore than it had ever taken away from Anthy being Anthy. She’d been worried about that unnecessarily - she saw that now. But of course, Anthy was wise and wary, and one must prepare for all possible contingencies. Especially in the face of this person she didn’t entirely understand.

“I believe in you,” she told Utena, and was rewarded by the pure joy of a child’s smile. This quickly turned disgruntled though, as Utena reached down to unwrap Anthy’s veil. The witch let her, and just to be helpful Anthy took out her contacts too. Utena’s hands trembled as they smoothed Anthy’s long untidy hair.

“You’re free,” she said wonderingly. She was crying silently.

“Yes,” said Anthy, as her own eyes filled with tears. They were half-closed as she gazed up at her Savior and ran one hand down her cheek in a soothing gesture. And if that slight movement had a touch of her old cunning, well she didn’t have to worry that Utena might notice. That was the beauty of Utena’s trusting nature. No matter what had happened, Anthy was free to be herself. Free to practice her witchery…openly. Anthy smiled.

~FIN~

Last edited by sharnii (09-05-2008 07:23:30 AM)