Well, Lapin also talks about getting rid of notes and dividing the lecture into intro, body, and conclusion, and then subdividing those 3 sections into 3 sections of their own, and then assigning keywords to those sections to help you remember them.

But ultimately, public speaking isn't any different from normal speaking, or rather, it's no more complicated. In fact, it's less complicated. Weightlifting isn't hard because it's complicated, it's hard because of the sheer magnitude of the strain involved. Public speaking is the same way. I guess if you lock yourself into a path and a certain diction and a certain voice, you'll have captured the essence of public speaking.

And your skepticism is exactly what keeps those CEO's from doing as he advises.

The need to be persuasive is probably why Abe Lincoln and George Washington read aloud from the Bible: it's a text with a great degree of gravity, regardless of what one may think of it.

Also, reading out loud entails a deeper form of involvement than watching a soap opera would. There is also the matter of content.

And I feel that public speaking really is able to be decomposed down to the skills learned from reading out loud. It's "harder," but it's also simpler, because the script is already pre-written, and there is no need to respond to others. Public speaking seems difficult because the vast majority of people are not used to following a script and speaking as if they will not be spoken to, but reading aloud from a venerated text would acclimate people to doing just that.

Last edited by zevrem (07-14-2013 10:34:06 AM)

When I said that others don't respond to a speech, I mean that people don't talk to you in the middle of a speech and have you adjust to what they say. I hope that clears things up.

And obviously you should practice your speech before you give a speech. And I didn't say that reading out loud would help you write speeches, I said that reading out loud would help you give them.

Regarding foreign soap operas, I really don't know how that's related to reading something out loud in a language you DO understand. You're making a connection that doesn't really exist. I hope you won't be too offended if I say that that characterizes most of what you've posted.

Last edited by zevrem (07-14-2013 07:41:34 PM)

I think you've looked over my posts and read something that's completely different from what I actually wrote.

What up? Let's keep it on topic. Dlaire, if you have a life tip, please post it; arguing about speeches any further is pointless and that derail is over as of now.




My life tip? Bar Keeper's Friend is amazing and I highly encourage anyone who wants things to be shiny to find and use it. It makes me so happy

Just wear gloves. I cleaned all the things, and also I cleaned the top layer of skin off my hands. At least I knew they were shiny too

[Derail of thread that is now deleted. Instead, have a life tip:]

People rarely notice when you wear mismatched socks or miss a spot shaving. If they do notice, even if they do care in that moment, which is itself incredibly unusual, they'll have forgotten about caring within a short period of time. This holds true for everyone who doesn't have issues with obsessing.

So, don't spend the day holding your hand over that one chipped nail, pimple, or the bit of your neck or knee you didn't get all the hairs off smoothly. Don't wear a hat, indoors, or a blazing hot day because your hair is frizzy. And if you make a casual mistake, don't draw attention to it, so that everyone can just forget.

Unless you are genuinely famous, you're not that important. Enjoy that.

Last edited by Decrescent Daytripper (07-15-2013 10:46:32 AM)

1. Love your enemies. Really.  It's not just a Christian thing. Think how beautiful the world would be if everyone was nice to someone they hated for one day. There would be no war for a day.

2. There's nothing wrong with being different as long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else.

3. In order to achieve your lifelong dream you must have the three t's: talent, training, and tenacity.

4. For God's sake, always brush your teeth before a date and don't eat garlic during it. I can't tell you how many guys with bad breath I've kissed.

Last edited by Riri-kins (07-16-2013 10:36:47 AM)

You can purchase and print shipping labels from USPS, UPS, and through Paypal to save you a trip to the post office or a 10 dollar strip of stamps.  USPS will send you a variety of shipping supplies, including flat rate boxes, for free.


Shampoo has detergent in it.  It will clean the fuck out of your clothes.  It lathers, though. So hand wash.


Stop hanging around people who are angry a lot.  People who are forever moody, testy, easily offended and quick to growl without apology.  The more they get to know and like you, the more comfortable they are, the more they will vent at you, snap at you, act surly and passive aggressive when you don't do or say what they want.  Surround yourself with people who apologize when they do that shit.  Surround yourself with people who will tell you what's hurting when something is wrong, and not just expect you to deal with whatever they do to you without explanation.  Surround yourself with people who accept help.  Surround yourself with people who think about you and consider your feelings just as much as you think and care about theirs.

So, you know, that person in your like who is super funny and shares a lot of interests with you, and who is basically a good person, but always seems to snap at you, or shock a room into tense silence with their attitude, and whose emotions you never know how to deal with because their anger never lets you?   Who you feel you are always having to bite your tongue around, because your advice or concern never seems welcome?

Distance yourself.  You deserve better.

Last edited by OnlyInThisLight (07-16-2013 05:01:31 PM)

zevrem wrote:

That last one... sounds like it comes from experience. It also feels very useful to me. Throughout reading that, I kept wondering if I was that person. I've known a few like that, so maybe it's infectious? Or maybe I was the demons all along?

It does.  I feel like I tend to accidentally befriend or am aways surrounded by the kind of people who tend to let their anger -at anything- affect the way they treat others.  One of my sisters is like that, and so is my father.  I guess that's why I've always been drawn to these people and able to shrug off their tempers. 

I think as long as keep your friends in mind despite your mood, and apologize when you accidentally snap or ruin a fun evening being upset about some unrelated thing, you are good.  I feel like if you cannot help but be angry and moody around your friends, you have to also be honest with them and willing to let them help you.  Anger is a very powerful thing, it draws all the attention to you and inspires some amount of fear in others.   Indulging in it often just because your friends and loved ones will ignore it and let you get away with it... it's selfish.

Now having someone you can rant with and complain with is one thing, and I have a friend I do that with.  We both get super angry or depressed over something and talk to each other about it.  We vent, give some advice, even if it sucks, and one of us cracks a joke and then we both feel better.  We don't get angry at something and then just treat the other one like shit for an hour on Skype.

Last edited by OnlyInThisLight (07-16-2013 08:06:49 PM)

zevrem wrote:

When dealing with other people, determine precisely what behavior you want from them, and reinforce that, and only that behavior.

That's not so much a tip as a "Hey, I think I can control people by using basic psych skills."


Here's something a bit more practical and less unnerving.



Put a straw through a strawberry to remove that gross stem.

Breadclips are great for labeling and organizing cords.

A Carabiner is great for latching bags together if you live on a higher floor. Grocery shopping now simplified.

Operant and Classical Conditioning do not work very well on human beings for anything other than shaping some pretty hilarious reactions via association.  Behaviorism has been pretty unanimously considered by professionals in the psychological field for quite some time to be insufficient on its ownfor shaping human behavior -be that dealing with symptoms of a mental disorder, controlling an addiction or teaching your children to clean their rooms without telling them.  I hate pulling this card, but I do have at least a bachelors in Psychology, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person somewhat studied in it on this forum.  Basically, conditioning works super well for tricking your friend into flinching at the sound of a horn, but not so much at convincing them that gay marriage is okay.  Even then, the conditioned response goes away, whether you keep up the conditioning or not. Behaviorism just doesn't really account for (in fact, it pointedly ignores) the complex cognitive and emotional motivations that influence human attitudes and behavior. 


Life tip:  Toothpaste will clean your headlights.  Just smear it on and buff it off with a rag, then wash clean.



Edit: And it does not work with children.  The token economy you are talking about is dependent on pairing that positive reinforcement with explanations that suit any particular child's age.  You don't just reward good behavior, you explain why it is good (i.e, you incorporate cognitive and developmental psych perspectives) in a way that gradually advances in moral complexity the older the child gets.  Authoritative versus authoritarian.  Even then, such practices have been shown to, in the long run, decrease intrinsic motivation for doing an activity.

Okay I'm done spewing Psych 101.  Kitsa-Bell is more studied than I in this particular department, and works with kids, so they might be able to explain this better.

Last edited by OnlyInThisLight (07-16-2013 10:49:57 PM)

zevrem wrote:

Conditioning basically concerns itself with behavior and not with "attitudes," regarding the latter as fantasy and metaphor. So instead of your friend's attitudes towards gay marriage, concern yourself with his behaviors that are associated with that attitude, such as positive statements about "tradition." You could reward this with silence and a still face, which unnerves people, especially emotional people who associate expressiveness with normality, or you could go further and narrow your eyes subtly. Or you could deride these statements.

Yup.  And it wouldn't work.  At all. 

And yes, you're right, it does destroy motivation, because it associates reward with an artificial social structure, while those "explanations" associate reward with the environment, even if they may do so fallaciously. So it's important to create a strong association between the desired behaviors and the bigger picture.

It destroys intrinsic motivation by replacing it with extrinsic, which is never a strong motivating factor once any person has obtained the means for a comfortable lifestyle.  People do not learn to enjoy what they do or to appreciate the benefits, tangible and intangible, of being a "good" person that way.   I recommend giving Drive:The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us a read for more explanation on why many of the tenets of behaviorism that have been used to stimulate worker productivity are no longer relevant, if they ever were effective in the way people assumed they were.  It was assigned to my Criminal Justice Management students because it's very informative and widely applicable while still being approachable.

Last edited by OnlyInThisLight (07-16-2013 11:03:02 PM)