If Utena was worked over by Moffet and co. in Sherlock style-



Anthy would be renamed Sherlock. She'd still call herself a high functioning sociopath, but would definitely be a lot more reserved; a middle ground, if you will. She'd fight crime with her trusty sidekick/minder Utena-John, with her brother Akio breathing over her shoulder. Akio would still control the British Secret Service, but instead of cameras and creepy PAs he'd be a pimp with a whole legion of highly trained spy-whores. Ohtori Academy wouldn’t be a high school anymore, it’d be the place where Akio’s crack prostitutes would learn how to lead men and women around by their groins.

Utena/John would be the everyman caught in Anthy and Akio’s wake; Anthy/Sherlock would still be essentially clueless about the whole overall politics thing, which works out in Anthy’s favour because no one realises that she manipulates and experiments on Utena and others on a small scale as ruthlessly as she does in SKU and Sherlock does in Sherlock; this would allow her to have minute control over the small things while being blissfully ignorant of the big things. At first Anthy would do the whole crime thing purely because she’s bored- she’s still many thousands of years old- but with Utena’s influence she’d very slowly start to evolve into something a little more...human.

Akio would carry a pimped out umbrella in Akio car colours. Nanami would be Donovan the bitch. Miki wouldn’t know what hit him; he’s now Mr Hudson with a hopeless crush on Anthy. Except when he’s Mrs Hudson, as he has a tendency to cross dress when he’s not out in public.

Juri and Kozue would undergo a horrific transformation; they’ve been mashed together to make Irene. Juri would provide the class, the good fashion sense and the connections, Kozue would bring the sexy and the ruthlessness. Put them together and you have one seriously terrifyingly woman who’s obscenely good in bed.

And Mikage is now Moriarty. He also has a sex drive now himself, which he would like very much to use on Utena/John, but can’t get past Anthy/Sherlock, who stands between them alternates between screaming, “MINE! MINE!” and, “You’re supposed to be paying attention to ME, for fuck’s sake!” In order to get to Utena/John he creates a one-man, highly sophisticated crime wave to occupy Anthy’s attention while he tries to get his hands on Utena/John. Best of luck, mate!

Touga is the serial killer from episode one, A Study in Pink. Saionji starts and finishes his guest appearance as a corpse. Wakaba is now Molly, poor bitch. No matter whether she’s in Sherlock or in SKU she still gets screwed.





Okay, all of this is probably rather too detailed. Maybe I should give the Sherlock ff a rest for a while...

Funimation gets the license for Utena:

...Vic Migderpaderp is Akio.

MikoGalatea wrote:

every other line of the English dub script would be peppered with "damn" or "hell"=

Isn't that more of a Gaijin Films thing?