Granted. Scandals ensue from the very beginning when it's leaked that her First Lady, Anthy, is a witch. After Utena explains the circumstances, people from both sides of the political spectrum berate her for participating in the exploitative system of duels that she'd been criticizing, rather than putting an end to it, thereby putting into question her promises of electoral reform. As more and more secrets come out, Utena rapidly loses support. Even the LGBT community, previously her most loyal base, back out when they learn of her affair with Akio, putting into question what her actual sexuality might be. And let's not even talk about the Birthers. Her numbers in the polls dwindle compared to her opponents, Kiryuu/Saionji, until she eventually announces her running mate, Wakaba. She's able to turn the tide, allowing them to eke out a narrow but Pyrrhic victory. Because, though the Tenjou/Shinohara team makes it into the Oval Office, there is little that they can do. Distrust among politicians from the countless scandals during the campaign, coupled with the fact that she's a girl (seriously, she has a vagina; how can she possibly be trusted to know how to run an entire country?) causes everyone to push back against every one of Utena's decisions, making her the most notorious lame duck President in history.

I wish I could speak dolphin.

Granted. Things seem nice at first given how he's no longer a playboy and you guys are a cute lovey-dovey couple. Then you find out you're actually his cousin and unlike most of the cast incest bothers you so you put a pistol in your mouth.

I wish to look like I'm twenty-three for the rest of my natural life.

Granted. Your cat moves its butt away, unveiling what has been hidden from you. Behind the fuzzy behind was the forbidden knowledge of the universe. Upon reading its secrets that are just barely in the realm of human comprehension, you feel yourself beginning to go mad.... and yet you cannot turn away. It is too late. Try as you might, you cannot forget the words that now echo in your mind, threatening to tear it apart. Unable to hold on, the final shreds of your sanity slip away.

I wish I could have a hug from my crush.

Last edited by pagetheplush (11-10-2016 06:46:32 PM)

Granted. Akio is now president.

I wish I could live somewhere else.

Granted. Alas, your graduation speech was so horrible that your folks died of embarrassment while you somehow survived only to become the most pitiful youtube and meme hero of all times. You never come out of your cellar ever again.

I can't afford this pendant but it speaks to me, and it says, "We were destined to be together from the dawn of time. We're perfect for each other. Stop resisting, can't fight them stars."
I don't even wear jewelry. Somebody please kindly kick me in the head. I want it.

Granted! You're very successful and make beloved movies with a unique style, thought-provoking concepts and relatable characters. But, as your career marches on, you find yourself making movies both critics and general audiences despise, some even comparing you to Michael Bay! Ouch... In the year 2400, your last film is Pulp Fiction with Pokémon IN SPACE!, which single-handedly crashes every art industry. You change your name and retire to a quaint village town.

I wish there was more Utena merch so I could clog my room with all of it.

zeedikay wrote:

sailor-anthy wrote:

I wish there was more Utena merch so I could clog my room with all of it.

Good news! The latest item of merch is a 1:1 scale replica of the octopus balloon that was in Anthy's closet in the fourth episode. It takes up as much room as expected, and it's a bit more of a hassle than it needs to be figuring out how to deflate it... And there's a distinct squeaking noise whenever you try to go around it.

I wish I could sleep less at night, with all the benefits of the average 6-8 hour rest cycle, and pull myself out of bed with enough motivation in the day to get ready to do things.

Granted, but to have this effect you must take special pills that will allow you to sleep less and have the benefits of a 6-8 hour sleep. But there is a side effect... you have constant vomiting in the morning when you wake yup, but it could be from the moment you wake up to 3 hours afterwards, and you cant stop it from happening.

I wish I could lose some weight so that I dont look too thin, but have the perfect balance of totally hunk to average over weight person, and come off as a little better looking then the norm, but nothing extraordinary, so that I wont be sexually assaulted in any possible way.

Sorry, sorry, just had to go back for a moment to this!

itavin wrote:

the worst part is that everyone thinks you look ugly in it, but they dont outwrite say it, so you are delusional that everyone loves it while in reality people think it looks horrible in you...

itavin wrote:

p.s
malna this looks amazing and I hope you could buy it.

Itavin, thank you!

Okay, ad rem!

DragonOfThePond wrote:

I wish I could exit the paradox of wishing for my wish not to be granted!

Granted! You meditate until you reach enlightenment and want for nothing anymore, wish for nothing. There is no point in wishing for wishes not to be granted because you're rid of them all. As result, you have nothing in your life but a terrible case of leg cramps from sitting in one position for way too long.

I wish I was bolder.

Granted. However your inexplicable tendency to wear clothing that dissolves when exposed to water means that you almost always wind up having to leave the party early.

I wish that golf balls would rise up against their wealthy oppressors and lead to a new age of equality.

Revolutionary wrote:

Unfortunately, it's the 'Animal Farm' type of equality where some people are more equal than others and to pass the time, golf balls throw themselves at people.

I would like some mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Sure. You actully realy like it and go buy more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And...  oops. Youre over 300 pounds.

I wish my finales were over.

Granted! Instead of sneezing constantly, you now sneeze once every month. The buildup from those days without a single sneeze creates an earth-shattering exhaustion of air that causes the ground to crumble and bystanders to get tossed like ragdolls. You are now banned from most public areas due to this ailment.

I'm the only person I know who prefers hot weather over cold weather. Will I finally find another??

Last edited by Empress_Arcana (09-18-2017 02:53:04 PM)

Mangorabbit wrote:

Granted!
Oh, yes you will meet others like yourself... IN HELL.
Ooop, I coughed. I ment to say Flordia.
( no offense to Flordia... I have two friends who are like that. One lives in Florida and the other wishes the do rather than living in the frozen northeast. They both use up lots of hot water in the shower.)

I wish that I could teleport.

Granted... but you cant control where you telport in the entire universe. Most likely, it has no oxygen.

I wish I got higher grades on my finals.