I'm not going to fight back, I don't want a flame war. I remain true to what I said in the first post. Rape and molestation is a very serious subject. I did not realize how offensive my posts were thereafter.
I apologize if I did offend anyone. I already admitted how many of my loved ones were damaged by the very thing we're discussing. I'd prefer not to go into detail about it because, frankly, I didn't ask their permission to share.
Can't we all just get along?

blah blah blah, Persephone saying the tips thing causing a flair up in the thread, yada yada..

You know, that comment  about the tips made me think of how i make fun of myself for my house burning down. People take sad and difficult situations in different ways. Some people take sadness with humor some don't. Its a terrible subject to joke about, but if you are just that sensitive about it, then maybe you shouldn't read this thread, as i would think of it being used for personal healing.

I hate to sound like a jerk, and i'm not in the least bit trying to.

very very true. some things werent ment to be joked about i suppose. it seems it is win/lose in this situation cause it may help one person, but it can hurt another.

and thats no good.

KissingT.Kiryuu wrote:

[You know, that comment  about the tips made me think of how i make fun of myself for my house burning down. People take sad and difficult situations in different ways. Some people take sadness with humor some don't. Its a terrible subject to joke about, but if you are just that sensitive about it, then maybe you shouldn't read this thread, as i would think of it being used for personal healing.

I hate to sound like a jerk, and i'm not in the least bit trying to.

Apparently you didn't read a good amount of what me and Arch have been saying. Because anyone who objects to jokes about rape in a safe zone is obviously just too sensitive and should stay out of it, or something. Everyone knows me and Arch are largely humorless and never joke about anything innapropriate like rape, murder, incest, etc. I thought you all obviously knew that I'm only here to criticize SKU for being an evil show that promotes incest and corrupts our precious youth.

While I know that certain people have different ways of coping, A) She was not making a joke to cope with her nonexistant rape, so that point is pretty much moot and B) Safe Zones are all about discussing things that won't make anyone feel trivialized for their experience. That's what the stated purpose was from the very beginning. If you think it goes against the general tone of the board to limit speech anywhere, then no one should make a safe zone here. It's as simple as that. Joke about rape and molestation all you want all over the rest of the board, I don't care.

I object not to the joke itself, but the bait-and-switch with people's emotions. It's just plain irresponsible. All we've been saying is that if it was going to be like that from the very beginning, then a serious safe zone sure as hell shouldn't have even been made. You said that sensitive people shouldn't read it in the first place? How were they supposed to know that from the stated purpose? You're basically criticizing people for believing the stated purpose of the thread. Man, how dare those rape survivors believe us.

Non existant is another story, if thats the case, thats awfully rude, you don't need to tell me twice. (which now after reading the thread about 7 more times, i have finally absorbed that it wasn't true) pardon me for having a slow working mind.

BTW, I can never tell if someone is serious, usually you don't say "i was raped" when you weren't. I'm a terrible judge.

Last edited by KissingT.Kiryuu (09-13-2007 05:24:11 PM)

Hm, again, I think you're missing the point!

It isn't about being offended by the joke itself, it's about you being misleading and saying that this thread is an open, supportive place, in which you can help people cope with the trauma by playing internet therapist, and then turning that around and making a tasteless joke that completely debases what you'd established.

And by saying "they just wouldn't post if they found it offensive," you're also excluding a group of people after saying that this was some sort of supportive thread for the purpose of victims to congregate.  "Sure, you can post about your traumatic experience -- but only if you won't be hurt by me trivializing it! Otherwise, tough love, chumps."

The appropriate way to handle things would have been to state that this was a thread in which those comfortable with discussing the experience are free to do so, but if not, you still empathize with them, and then actually follow through on that statement. An "I'm sorry, I understand" rather than a "hurhur, rape pays off in the long run!" I mean, honestly.

Archambeau wrote:

Lecture

Though I agree with what you're saying Archambeau, I don't think that I like seeing Persephone being lectured like this in front of everyone over something she's doing to offend everyone. It kind of reminds me of how the talk about how I get too defensive over Shiori was held in front of everyone, and I felt like shit because of it.

What Persephone is doing is offensive, but she's not doing this on purpose. If she was doing this with the intent of making people uncomfortable, then that would be a better reason to yell at her, but she's not. Please go a little easier on her.

You've already made your point, Archambeau, and I think reading the past replies will clear up any confusion up until this point.  If you're going to continue breaking apart the misunderstandings given by Persephone, own up to the fact that you're only wanting to perpetuate your opinion on how she handled this topic, and not claim to offer anymore "clarifications."

This is the end of the debate over whether what Persephone said was offensive and whether Archie and others were justified in calling her on it.

Eeep! I was writing mine, and didn't see your post, satyreyes - when I made the attempt at damage control. Sorry! Sorry!

Ok, to bring the topic to relevance - well we all know rape and child molestation is bad. But what about the laws. They suck right? Oprah wants to change them. But it's so hard to prove an actual case of child molestation unless you catch them in the act - and then with rape, the people rarely report, or if they do, it's way after - OR you get the liars that report rape b/c they're mad at someone. Anybody have any constructive ways we could change this, ideas about what laws would be good ones to impliment to help stop this rampant crime?

Frosty wrote:

Ok, to bring the topic to relevance - well we all know rape and child molestation is bad. But what about the laws. They suck right? Oprah wants to change them. But it's so hard to prove an actual case of child molestation unless you catch them in the act - and then with rape, the people rarely report, or if they do, it's way after - OR you get the liars that report rape b/c they're mad at someone. Anybody have any constructive ways we could change this, ideas about what laws would be good ones to impliment to help stop this rampant crime?

I think moreso than laws regarding rape, society needs a severe overhaul so as to transform women from objects into people.  Studies have shown that rape rates are drastically higher in cultures where women are considered lesser citizens, and instead something that higher citizens have a "right" to.

Unfortunately, it's far easier to write "rape is the forcible penetration of another" than to change tradition.

Archambeau wrote:

I think moreso than laws regarding rape, society needs a severe overhaul so as to transform women from objects into people.

I agree.  We see all these women half naked dancing beside rappers and musicians on television, family sitcoms where the husband is an ugly oaf while the woman is beautiful and pretty much a "trophy wife", magazines like Playboy and Maxim shoving pictures of women's bodies in people's faces without any regard to who these women are, and the list can go on.

I'm not saying we can't have beautiful, sexy women showing off their bikinis once and a while.  But when sex sells and men prefer to see these "generic" models flaunting their bodies, it may send a message that, "Hey, women like to be seen like this, who cares what they think, just pick one up at the bar and bang her!"

Frosty wrote:

My mother was molested when she was like between 10-18, ok? She's turning 55 in 3 days and if you ask her what the worst experience of her life was - she recounts those days. If you watch a movie or whatever, with implied sexual abuse - she tells a story of her past. My entire childhood she was ON WATCH for sexual abuse. And thank God, she succeeded, but the point is - THAT WOMAN'S LIFE WAS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY CHARACTERIZED BY THE ABUSE SHE SUFFERED. Her entire life. MY MOM, who I love most in the world, hearing me?

Rape really does to horrible things to people psychologically. My cousin was raped and abused by her father, and even though she was in her twenties, she was still suffering because of this. I heard my aunt mention to some of her friends that she had the word, "Die," permanently carved into her wrist before she really did die. (She didn't die from suicide, or at least I'm pretty sure that she didn't. But she didn't die in an accident either... I'm not sure. I was really young when it happened, and I haven't asked about it ever since.) My point is that what had happened back then was still affecting her after all that time, and she didn't know to tell her mother that she was being abused like this for a long time.

Edit: I'm sad now... I think that maybe I'll spend time with my aunt next weekend.

Last edited by Razara (09-13-2007 07:39:04 PM)