This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)
Utena: What the fuck!?
*Dios enters Utena's body, then launches her forward in that too-familiar lunge, knocking the rose from Saionji's chest*
Saionji: SONOFABITCH! I knew this would happen, but because of my intense steroid use, I'm still very madddd!
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---scene change---
Utena: *sitting in front of a cake which Chu-Chu jumps in and ruins* *thinking* Damn, maybe I should have lost so Chu-Chu wouldn't have been able to ruin my cake just now.
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Anthy: *using her witch powers to read Utena's mind like the invasive hosnatch she is* You're a bitch! Anyways, I have a feeling that the next person to challenge you is going to be another member of the Student Council. Y'know, just sayin'.
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Anthy: What's funny is that you'll never catch on to that until Touga mentions it!
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----Next Day---
Anthy: *is minding her own business when she is suddenly slapped by Keiko* Ow, what was the in that?
Keiko: I slapped you because Nanami-sama doesn't like you. Therefore I don't like you either.
Aiko and Yuuko: Ya, we don't like you because Nanami-sama doesn't like you.
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Anthy: It's a good thing that I'm used to being slapped, because otherwise I'd passive aggressively torture your ass!
Nanami: Here I come to join my posse...I mean, save Anthy so I can play an elaborate prank on her later...I mean, save Anthy...
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Anthy: Thank you for saving me for the time being, even though you are going to embarrass me at your party by sending me a dress that will fall apart when it gets wet.
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Nanami: Ain't no thang...Speaking of, I'm not even going to bother thinking up a good lie, so let's just pretend that you're uber popular with dudes since you let them smack you up, so you're prom queen...I mean, well, I guess that's almost what I mean. Just come to my party so I can totally embarrass you in front of everyone and maybe Touga will have sex with me...Yeah, that's great logic! Also, just a heads-up, you should wear your best underwear with the dress I sent you.
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----Back in the Dorm Anthy is playing cards with ChuChu----
Utena: Now look, Himemiya...is it true you're pathetically friendless?
Anthy: Yes! Nobody likes me except for this ratlike monkeymidget which I bribe with food.
Utena: I...see. Um, if I was smarter I'd be asking if there's a reason nobody likes you. But I'm not. So, I'm just gonna be filled with pity mixed with a good old fashioned heaping of lust.
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Anthy: Like I didn't totally smell the lust on you when we first met. So, you going to that lame ass party?
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Utena: Not if I have to wear this dress Touga sent me, but at least I'll look better then you will in that butt ugly green dress, the good thing for you is that it will fall apart when wet. So I guess I'll go to see that, since I want to see you naked.
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----Meanwhile----
Touga: Why Utena-kun. Now that you're wearing a dress as is proper for all young ladies, I feel reassured that you might be straight, or at least bisexual. Be still my rising libido.
Utena: I feel weak and insecure since I never wear dresses, and your rising libido makes me kinda hot. Oh my, I'm just going completely to pieces here, goodbye princely personality, thanks to the appearance of a real man.
Touga: That's right, baby. That dress makes me want to hump you. Care for a...dance?
Utena: Oh my. *blushes furiously, wipes away sweat, fans face and cleavage.* Oh my, oh my. *girlish giggling*
*Touga stretches out hand.*
Utena: I mean, get away from me you jerk! *blushes harder* Get away from me right now!! *pants*
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*Anthy gets soaked and her dress starts to disolve*
Anthy: "Oh crap I am having flashbacks to when I sealed Dios and the Mob lynched me, I hope that my prince will come to save me."
*Suddenly Utena appears from the top of the stairs where she transforms back to her usual uniform*
Utena: "If you were wondering how on earth I could have been wearing this underneath my shoulderless dress, its simple really."
*holds up the dress revealing that there was latex skin that looks like human shoulders, back and cleavage up to the neck*
Anthy: "Will you help me already..."
Utena: "Oh sorry."
*she jumps down, grabs a table cloth and using her leet princely ninja skills, she quickly turns the table cloth into a reasonable looking gown.*
Utena: "Fuck I'm awesome."
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Anthy: Yes you are.
Utena: Now let's dance in an innocent way that will have everyone looking at us and make me hotter then even since I have the hots for you.
Anthy: OK! Sounds great to me since I also have the hots for you but just won't say it.
*they dance*
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Random Guy #1: Dude, those chicks're totally dykes!
Random Guy #2: Maybe they'll make out!!
Random Guy #1: Yeah!
Random Guy #3: I totally just got a hardon!
Nanami: Dammit! Now that my plan to humiliate Anthy so Touga would plow me failed, I'm going to have to go to ridiculous means to try and humiliate her and get everyone thinking that she's a weirdo, and even though I'll fail countless times, I'll do my best!
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Touga: Nanami, I know that it was your fault, but that's not why I won't sleep with you. But you won't figure that out until a later episode! BTW, I'm in love with Utena Tenjou, though I won't admit it for a while...*nods*
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---Next Episode---
Miki: *playing the Sunlit Garden on the piano* This song reminds me of my innocent childhood when I would play the piano with my sister Kozue. She doesn't know it, but I was the one who sent her that love letter that inspired her to keep playing even though she really sucked. I just liked being beside her so I could fantasize about her like I am right now while playing this song.
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Nanami: RAWR! There is a picture of Anthy in your music book, so I'm gonna torture her because I'm an attention whore!
***
SCENE CHANGE
Miki: Miss Himemiya, you barely resemble my sister, but I'm gonna convince myself that's not the reason I like you. Wanna study?
Anthy: *oblivious*
Nanami: RAWR! Time to use my animals!
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