This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)
bella, I'm really sorry to hear you had to go through that experience. I hope you're not involved with him any more because he seems abusive. The way you described it, in all the examples you gave, it seems pretty obvious to me that you didn't give consent to him (and in a healthy relationship you should be able to change your mind and have your wishes be respected, so if you wanted him to stop, he would listen and do just that, but the fact that he didn't leads me to conclude he was abusive). Not saying "no" does NOT mean "yes", ever. Saying "yes" AND meaning it when you say it means "yes". So saying "yes" when you don't mean it does not make it consensual either, especially if you say it out of fear of violence (because for you, it's still a "no"). So I would say it was rape but I don't know how it's legally defined* where you are.
* to me personally, it doesn't matter HOW someone violates another person, the important thing in defining it is the absence of consent.
(Also I didn't read all the other previous posts in this thread so please don't shoot me if I missed something)
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