In the Rose Garden / Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

Hiraku · Back to Top

I know a long time ago, there was a thread like this, where you can post original (maybe less-than-original emot-tongue ) poems and lyrics you have about Utena on there. But, I can't find it, and at this point, the clock is ticking for me as far as online connection goes for me.

So, I decided to start another thread where you can post whatever poems/lyrics you have on Utena. I know Iris has a tons in her head, maybe you guys do, too. Come on, I know there're lots of writers here who write fanfic emot-tongue

I wrote two and posted them on facebook before. So, I decided to share them here with other members, too. I know SLoT, Trench Kamen, and KTK had read those.

I, the Rider of the Unguided Chariot
Rivers of life
Quintessence, fiery breath, feu ethere,
Eons of phantasmic storms
Aristotelian torrents

Respire and perspire
Expire to inanimation
Imperfect regeneration
Phlogiston, perpetual's lament

The faceted Union
PITY!
Unexplored depths!

Cursed Babylonian Towers
Ah~~
Fathers, their suicidal homicide!

Unbreakable fleshly barriers, by swords, naught but cries
Unreachable spiritual tunnel, by spells, mutations!

Death by sword, death by flame, death by sea, death by curse
Lover’s death, warrior’s death, sinner’s death, karmic death

I am he who desire undesirables
I am he who dies heroic and villainous
I am he who preaches:

Perfection, inhuman yours, human mine

I am he who craves the unholy Nirvana

Ah~~~~~~~

Crashed into Contrived Perfection!

Regno Adolescence
Not those, not with those,
Those trembling fingers, the hesitation
The peck, one-two-three
Why must love be so short-sighted for you?
With the subtlety
Caressed as if by the bride's hands,
Are you so willing to
Blow out your candles for me?

Encased within the “Bara Rosa Petalo”
Shut away from the rage out the window,
As a chrysalis, illusion of death,
I will live on.
The scents of Versailles, the pleasant suffocation,
The Brair Princess, I now in her arms
In her Somnus gown, must I leave
For the thorns of Thanatos?

Under the string-hung diamonds,
Riding the ornate Carousel,
Whenever will I deliver
That Destined Kiss?

At once, by my sword
Pierce us both with your Eternity
Love has always been
None but a despicable, burdensome Blessing
With the viciousness
Torn as if inside the torrents of million wails
Are you so willing to
Pluck that flower beneath?

With those same lips bleeding from the pledged kiss
Swear to paint your hands with Aeonus' blood!

Cast out the gate, I was the blind emperor (<-My first attempt at a villanelle)
Ah! Cast out the gate, I was the blind emperor
How the earth clings, the green little bead,
Yet the sweet taste of nectar was all I desire.

I weep not, for I can see all the better
Blue roses! My angel’s divine they shall feed.
Ah! Cast out the gate, I was the blind emperor.

Brilliance is those days when photos shine like mirror
Now cracked into million stars, they flew at such speed!
Yet the sweet taste of nectar was all I desire.

Recalled echo not unlike from Orpheus’ lyre,
Again they called, “Bloom!” Sight I have no need!
Ah! Cast out the gate, I was the blind emperor.

Under the glasses, this journey I do not tire.
Not abandoned, only yonder blinded the shines that lead,
Yet the sweet taste of nectar was all I desire.

Lies have told me I shall step into fire!
Deceits shout at me that they have gone to seed!
Ah! Cast out the gate, I was the blind emperor
Yet the sweet taste of nectar was all I desire.

Major Disclaimer: Aaaaand, this one below, I just wrote it while listening to Hamasaki Ayumi's "(don't)leave me alone", so I can't take all the credit. Actually, I won't take any credit because all I did was just listening to her song and stuffing English words into it. I know a bit of what she's singing in Japanese, so my English version of the lyrics and what she's actually singing are very similar. But, I feel like sharing this anyways because I think this song was very Anthy. Could be describing other characters pretty well, too.

If you're interested in the original artist's (don't)leave me alone, here's the link

(don't)Leave Me Alone
Isn’t it great to be living on
Without a worry in this world,
What do they really know about
Besides the success you put on the wall?

Even though you worked hard for your life,
I can care less as of now (Please tell me)

Isn’t it great to be the hero
Whom everyone follows behind
What do they really want from you
Besides the shimmering trail you left behind?

Even if you offer it me,
I do not want any of it. (It’s a lie)

Rather, just consider me your worst enemy,
Because only through pain,
Can I know I’m awake.
And so the more I wish to move on,
The more this sword plunges deeper into me.

Isn’t it great to be the nice guy
loved by everyone everywhere
what do they really care about
besides that smile that go from ear to ear?

Even if it’s sincerity,
It hurts me to have faith in you.

Rather, just strike me across the face,
Because through pain I feel warm
From the coldest touch there is,
It’s not that I don’t wish for salvation,
But the hands I want to reach are never there.

Rather, be as you are, I want too much,
Wanting you be by my side,
So that I can love myself more
Maybe you’d be willing to be there for me,
But the words I want to hear are never there.

Rather, please don’t save me, I was never hurt
The solution to my pain,
I know it all too well.
Surely, we will be walking together again,
But until then, walk away and leave me alone.

For now do walk away and leave me alone.

I beg of you, please don’t ever leave me alone.

EDIT:I was thinking of making this a bit more challenging last night. Maybe it can be like a "prompt" thing, where one poster will post a poem/lyric of certain subject, then propose another topic/prompt for the next poster.
I wonder if that would work out well. Let me know, and I will come up with a subject for the next poster.

Last edited by satyreyes (04-05-2009 12:58:19 PM)

Seitokaichou · Back to Top

Hiraku wrote:
I was thinking of making this a bit more challenging last night. Maybe it can be like a "prompt" thing, where one poster will post a poem/lyric of certain subject, then propose another topic/prompt for the next poster.

The "prompt" thing is a great idea. Iris has already started the Poetry Drabble Thread, and Anthiena has long created the Poetry that fits Utena thread. I think the former is non-SKU, so you can make yours strictly for SKU. And aside from posting lyrics, and instead of posting poems written by famous poets, why not challenge the forum members to post their original poems based on the prompt which inspires them the most? I hope that helps!

Last edited by Seitokaichou (07-19-2008 01:30:57 AM)

Hiraku · Back to Top

Seitokaichou wrote:
Hiraku wrote:
I was thinking of making this a bit more challenging last night. Maybe it can be like a "prompt" thing, where one poster will post a poem/lyric of certain subject, then propose another topic/prompt for the next poster.
The "prompt" thing is a great idea. Iris has already started the Poetry Drabble Thread, and Anthiena has long created the Poetry that fits Utena thread. I think the former is non-SKU, so you can make yours strictly for SKU. And aside from posting lyrics, and instead of posting poems written by famous poets, why not challenge the forum members to post their original poems based on the prompt which inspires them the most? I hope that helps!

It does! Thanks, I'm thinking that for the prompt, it'll consist of the format of the poem and the subject (person, thing, etc) like so:

Example-

Format: Sonnet
Subject: Rose Signet, roses, tower

Lemme know what you think. And, yeah, I do intend for this thread to be original poems written by the posters themselves. In a way, it stimulates thinking and hopefully helps with more skillful talent in writing in the long run. (God, I'm such a nerd)
I'm thinking that "Lyrics" and "Duel Chorus" would also be a 'kind' of a format emot-tongue In the sense that it would be more freeform than other formats.

Last edited by Hiraku (07-19-2008 10:01:50 AM)

Seitokaichou · Back to Top

Hiraku wrote:
It does! Thanks, I'm thinking that for the prompt, it'll consist of the format of the poem and the subject (person, thing, etc) like so:

Example-

Format: Sonnet
Subject: Rose Signet, roses, tower

Lemme know what you think. And, yeah, I do intend for this thread to be original poems written by the posters themselves. In a way, it stimulates thinking and hopefully helps with more skillful talent in writing in the long run. (God, I'm such a nerd)
I'm thinking that "Lyrics" and "Duel Chorus" would also be a 'kind' of a format In the sense that it would be more freeform than other formats.

I think that's cool. Count me in. *grins*

My only question is... should the "Lyrics" and "Duel Chorus" be based on an existing song, or an original creation by the poster? Thanks!

Hiraku · Back to Top

Seitokaichou wrote:
Hiraku wrote:
It does! Thanks, I'm thinking that for the prompt, it'll consist of the format of the poem and the subject (person, thing, etc) like so:

Example-

Format: Sonnet
Subject: Rose Signet, roses, tower

Lemme know what you think. And, yeah, I do intend for this thread to be original poems written by the posters themselves. In a way, it stimulates thinking and hopefully helps with more skillful talent in writing in the long run. (God, I'm such a nerd)
I'm thinking that "Lyrics" and "Duel Chorus" would also be a 'kind' of a format In the sense that it would be more freeform than other formats.
I think that's cool. Count me in. *grins*

My only question is... should the "Lyrics" and "Duel Chorus" be based on an existing song, or an original creation by the poster? Thanks!

When I write a lyric/duel chorus, I was listening to a particular song to get a certain rhythm or beat and follow along. I'm not a composer, so I need to listen to an existing song to get a feel. But, if you can compose and write, so much more the power to you!

Seitokaichou · Back to Top

Hiraku wrote:
When I write a lyric/duel chorus, I was listening to a particular song to get a certain rhythm or beat and follow along. I'm not a composer, so I need to listen to an existing song to get a feel. But, if you can compose and write, so much more the power to you!

All right, I'll keep that in mind. Thank you!

Hiraku · Back to Top

Hm... maybe this will be a start.

The next poster should write (this may be very easy or very difficult to write...):

Format: Sonnet
Subject: Black Rose, Fire, Glitter

You don't have to mention any of the keywords in the "Subject", but somehow let people catch on to it, however subtle.

Seitokaichou · Back to Top

Hiraku wrote:
Hm... maybe this will be a start.

The next poster should write (this may be very easy or very difficult to write...):

Format: Sonnet
Subject: Black Rose, Fire, Glitter

You don't have to mention any of the keywords in the "Subject", but somehow let people catch on to it, however subtle.

Gah. Sonnet. Dude. You'll hurt my brain--honestly. Lol. But... I'll try.

satyreyes · Back to Top

Hope you don't mind parody! Intelligent, pointed parody, I hope. Original here.

Hiraku wrote:
Format: Sonnet
Subject: Black Rose, Fire, Glitter

Shall I compare thee to an autumn eve?
Thou hast more color and more fervency,
Thy Seminar more sparkling and naive
Than aging Gaea's drab maturity.
It's toward decay the falling leaf aligns,
And often are its golden edges browned,
As autumn's fire from fire at length declines,
Till all the leaves are left at last on ground;
But thy eternal autumn shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of the fire thou know'st --
Unless it's I who cast thee to the shade,
A coarse reflection of the debt thou ow'st:
So long as thou art useful still to me,
So long lives this -- and just so long live thee.

----

Format: Three to six quatrains that make use of rhyme
Subject: The rose garden; grace

sharnii · Back to Top

satyr:

Format: Three to six quatrains that make use of rhyme
Subject: The rose garden; grace

It's Just
It's just a place that when you go:
you feel her grace beneath rose law
you feel much stronger than before
(and yet it really isn't so)

It's just a garden of the mind
it's in your dreams beneath your hands
you know you'll never understand
(and thus you never seem to find)

It's just the tomb we go to die
beneath the roses growing 'round
beneath the mossy bloody ground
(and yet that tomb is but a lie)

It's just a garden cup-of-tea
it's just a moment meting grace
it's just a sad look on her face
(and what it means you cannot see)

* * *

Awesome fun. I love poetry, especially the rhyming stuff. Okey next challenge:
Format: haiku (preferably a handful of the lovely things)
Subject: duels

Need a refresher on what Western haikus have developed into? Go here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku_in_English

FencingCaptain · Back to Top

sharnii wrote:
Format: haiku (preferrably a handful of the lovely things)
Subject: duels

Bright steel against steel
biting cold under pale skies:
rose blossoms fall dead.

----------

Format: Tanka
Subject: Rose, Thorns, Tears

Seitokaichou · Back to Top

Format: Tanka
Subject: Rose, Thorns, Tears

( Inspired by Touga )

The colour of blood
deep crimson-hued as your hair
reminds me in tears
of vicious thorns that pricked me
painful is your savage rose

In Japanese:

血の色は
髪と同じく
傷付いて
想いだしたら
薔薇の苦しいさ

Chi no iro wa
kami to onajiku
kizu tsuite
omoidashitara
bara no kurushiisa

Next request

Format: Tanka
Subject: friendship and ambition

( Tanka is a Japanese poem consisting of 31 syllables in 5 lines, with 5 syllables in the first and third lines and 7 in the others. )

Hiraku · Back to Top

Standing by your side,
A shining star by the sun.
But, nobody sees.
So, I dream with open eyes
The day you plummet to Hell.

Format: Villanelle (Format can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villanelle)
Subject: Circuits, Divinity, Excrement

Last edited by Hiraku (09-21-2008 12:21:03 AM)

satyreyes · Back to Top

Hiraku, this is the SKU-related poem thread. Did you really mean for us to write a poem about circuits, divinity, and exrement in the context of SKU? I mean... yeah emot-smile

Hiraku · Back to Top

satyreyes wrote:
Hiraku, this is the SKU-related poem thread. Did you really mean for us to write a poem about circuits, divinity, and exrement in the context of SKU? I mean... yeah

I am well aware of the fact that in this thread, you are to post original poems in the context of SKU (Seitokaichou and I made it so, after all emot-tongue )

And, hey, yes, I do mean it. Look at Seazer. He did it and he's at least half-crazy! Allegoriest can vouch for that.
And, come on, we have Aphrodite's "Scat", we can do it! Yes!

Last edited by Hiraku (09-21-2008 01:43:23 AM)

satyreyes · Back to Top

Got it emot-smile Sorry, I completely forgot that you started this thread in the first place! Good luck to whoever takes this one on. I like villanelles, but... excrement?

Seitokaichou · Back to Top

Hmm... I want to see your personal take on your own challenge, Hiraku; I'm curious.

No offence, but in all honesty, the idea of excrement in a poem bothers me as well. *sweatdrops*

Hiraku · Back to Top

Seitokaichou wrote:
Hmm... I want to see your personal take on your own challenge, Hiraku; I'm curious.

No offence, but in all honesty, the idea of excrement in a poem bothers me as well. *sweatdrops*

Sure thing. I'll try to come up with one either by the end of this week or next week

Hiraku · Back to Top

Necro + double post, sry. I said long ago that I'd do it next week, and it ended up being 2 months.

But, I made up something. It's not the best, but it's what went on in my head.

Vessels and joints of woven wire

Vessels and joints of woven wire
Ye pretty dolls of nobility,
Fight for my love, crossing swords and fire!

Twisted and bent as divine require
Yet desire beyond, dear, silly!
Vessels and joints of woven wire.

Should that exists not be what you desire
Let it be true, lo, oh so pretty,
Fight for my love, crossing swords and fire!

Heed now to the Abraxas’ lyre
Where it’s spewed- Why look? It’s dead kitty
Vessels and joints of woven wire.

Seriously, avert, it will bring ire,
Gold back to feces, it is shitty.
Fight for my love, crossing swords and fire!

Forfeit at your will, no need calling liar
Rather away than against, darling, no pity!
Vessels and joints of woven wire,
Fight for my love, crossing swords and fire!

Format: Duel lyrics (Go crazy, my dears!!)
Subject: Tower, Food, Ink

satyreyes · Back to Top

Gravity is attraction,
The torsion caught in relativity's wind.
Falling, falling,
The tower at Pisa, the pendulum at Paris,
Forever falling without end.
One plucked an apple and from this the world fell;
An apple fell and from this one plucked the world.
Immutable, ink-etched,
The Principia, the parabola, the precipice.
FIRST is impediment,
Which never moves nor stops moving --
The wicked arc of Ahab's harpoon,
A monomania, frictionless, on oiled gears.
SECOND is impetus,
A perfect vacuum at absolute zero;
The satanic mills grind sans monkey wrench,
As the engineer sleeps amidst the decibels.
But O Newtonian child
Full of boast and bluster on her orbital lever,
Beware the THIRD!

Format: Terza rima
Subject: Cardboard, hope

lex · Back to Top

Format: Terza rima
Subject: Cardboard, hope

look at you, flimsy piece of thing
you're like me, crushed and weathered
you can be new, you can be old, you can be nothing

imagination, sublimation, determination, severed
by the dreams of all who came to consort with hope
this is no place for hope, unless its deferred

can we take this place apart? nope
we can grind our teeth, and work our hands to the bone
swallow our dreams and piece together whatever lays on this slope

look at you, you flimsy thing, completely blown
to the wind , to the castle, to the places after
where I'm going to, I don't want to go there alone

****

I don't know if it's cohesive or not, but I tried, I really tried :bites thumb:

Format Ballad Stanza ( or a quartrain)
Subject Friendship, Roses

Last edited by lex (11-17-2008 02:46:59 PM)

Hiraku · Back to Top

Needles on the shattered fragrance
Were acid to my blood.
The same scent now pierced by his lance
Fades to that trail of mud.

Format: Duel Lyric (It's not SKU until we have more Screaming Seazers)
Subject: Grasses, nail polish, centripetal force

Last edited by Hiraku (11-20-2008 02:01:32 PM)

Almaser · Back to Top

I gave it a go!

---

Lunar Orbit: Kagura

At the edge of time there is a town
At the edge of town there is a man
At the edge of man there are fingers

What do the fingers hold?
What are the fingers holding?

Shape of a daughter - bamboo shoot
Shape of bamboo - child of man
Shape of a human - daughter of bamboo
Shape of the moon - the daughter's nails

Redly (The hands)
Red (of the daughter are)
Stained Red
Redly (The hands)
Red (of the daughter are)
Stained Red

At the edge of the moon there is bamboo
At the edge of the bamboo there is a person
At the edge of the person there is space

What does space hold?
What is space holding?

Shape of the Earth - beginning of a journey
Shape of a journey - bamboo shoot
Shape of a person - daughter disguised
Gravity of spheres - centripetal force!

Redly (The sun)
Red (leaves the moon)
Stained Red
Redly (The moon)
Red (leaves the man)
Stained Red

Daughter from the moon
Her nails are red
Daughter from bamboo
Her nails are red
Man who held bamboo
His breast is red
Man who held the moon
His breast is red

The moon is redly, the moon is red, the moon is stained red.

月の軌道・カグラ

時の果てにある村
村の果てにある人
人の果てに指があり

指は何を持つ？
指は何を持っている?

娘の形　竹の子
竹の形　人の子
人の形　竹の娘
月の形　娘の爪

血き　(娘)
血い　(の手が)
血く汚まる
血き　(娘)
血い　(の手が)
血く汚まる

月の果てにある竹
竹の果てにある人
人の果てに宇宙あり

宇宙が何を持つ?
宇宙が何を持っている?

地球の形　旅立ち
旅の形　竹の子
人の形　化かす娘
球形の引力　回転運動!

血き　(月が)
血い　(太陽に)
血く汚まる
血き　(人が)
血い (月に)
血く汚まる

月から来た娘
爪は血き
竹から来た娘
爪は血き
竹を抱いた人の
胸は血き
月を抱いた人の
胸は血き

月は血き月は血い月が血く汚まる

---
Next prompt: Free-form
Subject: Boudicca, Lions

satyreyes · Back to Top

I went to a country where all were in chains.
They struggled against them, or so it appeared --
But really the keys were quite easy to grasp,
And hung there an inch from each prisoner's nose.

Among them a woman walked, clad like a man.

She saw that the lion was coming to feast,
The jailor, his smirk all agleam in his axe.
The captives were blinded by loosely-hung cloth --
Except for a few, and they lent her their hope.

The name of that country was -- England? Japan?

((Yeah, so this is faaar from perfect and not exactly freeform, but I wanted to revive this thread! Boudica was a KO.))

Format: Exactly thirteen lines, broken up however you like, with or without rhyme. Be creative!
Subject: Inspiration.

Don't forget this is the Utena poetry prompt thread, so your poem should relate to the show. We also have:
- a poetry prompt game like this one but unrelated to Utena;
- a thread for poems you didn't write that fit Utena by accident;
- a thread for poems you wrote that fit Utena on purpose;
- and a thread for poems you wrote that have nothing to do with Utena.

You know your forum has been around a while when...

satyreyes · Back to Top

To help reduce confusion about the number and nature of the poetry threads, I've changed the title of this thread. Hiraku, if the change annoys you I'm happy to change it back! emot-smile

#1 | Back to Top07-11-2008 06:57:10 PM

Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#2 | Back to Top07-19-2008 01:29:58 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

Hiraku wrote:

#3 | Back to Top07-19-2008 09:49:14 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

Seitokaichou wrote:

Hiraku wrote:

#4 | Back to Top07-19-2008 11:51:49 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

Hiraku wrote:

#5 | Back to Top07-19-2008 12:44:10 PM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

Seitokaichou wrote:

Hiraku wrote:

#6 | Back to Top07-20-2008 07:09:44 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

Hiraku wrote:

#7 | Back to Top07-27-2008 07:28:44 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#8 | Back to Top08-01-2008 03:16:18 PM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

Hiraku wrote:

#9 | Back to Top08-02-2008 10:54:53 PM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

Hiraku wrote:

#10 | Back to Top09-17-2008 09:51:13 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#11 | Back to Top09-18-2008 05:47:02 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

sharnii wrote:

#12 | Back to Top09-18-2008 06:03:00 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#13 | Back to Top09-21-2008 12:16:04 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#14 | Back to Top09-21-2008 12:59:12 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#15 | Back to Top09-21-2008 01:42:03 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

satyreyes wrote:

#16 | Back to Top09-21-2008 11:24:20 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#17 | Back to Top09-22-2008 04:32:44 PM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#18 | Back to Top09-22-2008 05:52:42 PM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

Seitokaichou wrote:

#19 | Back to Top11-17-2008 12:30:36 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#20 | Back to Top11-17-2008 01:22:33 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#21 | Back to Top11-17-2008 02:45:58 PM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#22 | Back to Top11-20-2008 02:00:26 PM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#23 | Back to Top12-24-2008 04:07:54 AM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#24 | Back to Top04-04-2009 11:38:34 PM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

#25 | Back to Top04-05-2009 12:59:10 PM

Re: Poem/Lyrics for SKU (Prompt Game)

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