This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)
No, this isn't about the computer Douglas Adams made. It's about interesting phrases that we can make fun of. I'll list some examples for this thread; perhaps we'll see even more!
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
How do cannibals toast the bride and groom?
That's all for now, let's see what you folks can come up with!
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BioKraze wrote:
No, this isn't about the computer Douglas Adams made.
Darn.
I'll be back when I can think of some.
...what's with the mice?
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Why don't people who suffer from Homophobia run away or scream when they see gay people the same way people with other phobias do when they see the object of their fear?
If they invent an acid that disolves everything, how will they store it?
Is the key to successful safe sex, knowing the right combination?
If you can fight for peace, does that mean you can fuck for virginity?
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Tamago wrote:
If you can fight for peace, does that mean you can fuck for virginity?
Ooo ooo! Like George Carlin says: If crimefighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fire, what do freedomfighters fight?
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You really did have me excited thinking we were gonna dive into more Douglas Adams stuff
Anyway...
If bank doors are unlocked, why are the pens chained to the desk?
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Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is something sent by truck a shipment and something sent by ship is cargo?
Why are there locks on the doors of 24hr diners?
Last edited by Imaginary Bad Bug (01-15-2007 12:58:38 PM)
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Why is there no correct answer to the question, "Do I look fat?"
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Why do noses run and feet smell?
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Why are buildings set apart, and apartments set together?
Is Stalin buried in a Communist plot?
Is it because light travels faster than sound, that some people appear bright until they speak?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
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Disneyland is a peopletrap operated by a mouse.
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Tamago wrote:
Why don't people who suffer from Homophobia run away or scream when they see gay people the same way people with other phobias do when they see the object of their fear?
Acctually, the same could be said of Xenophobia. Both are more hate than fear.
~~~~
Uhhmm...All I can think of is why there is an S in 'lisp'
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
Why do they report power outages on TV?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
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BioKraze wrote:
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
Mythbusters did that one! I forget what the conclusions were, though...
Why is it that something that is flammable and something that is inflammable both can catch fire?
:cue Pop Tarts:
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Imaginary Bad Bug wrote:
Mythbusters did that one! I forget what the conclusions were, though...
Talking didn't do a thing, though music sure did! They played music for some of the pea plants. It has been conclusively proven that the "Mozart Effect" has generously positive results on plants. It doesn't matter what you play for them, so long as it's music.
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dollface wrote:
Tamago wrote:
Why don't people who suffer from Homophobia run away or scream when they see gay people the same way people with other phobias do when they see the object of their fear?
Acctually, the same could be said of Xenophobia. Both are more hate than fear.
Maybe they should replace -phobia with a different suffix if its more to do with hate than fear like -miseha for instance (based on the Greek word Misew pronounced 'mis-eh-o')
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If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the other swimmers drown, too?
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? (Don't hate on me, I'm not mocking people here!)
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? (I think that should belong in IFD...)
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
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Why do psychics always have to ask for your name?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morailty come from morons?
Why is getting beat up and getting beat down the same thing?
If winners never quit, and quitters never win... then why do we say quit while you're ahead?
If knowledge is power, and power corrupts... Then School is Evil!
SKU-style:
If a low-flying crop-duster crashed into the Chairmen's tower and gave it severe architectural damage, would Akio gain the physical effects of a symbolic castration?
Last edited by Ivy-chan (01-15-2007 09:20:34 PM)
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Why do we never see the headline, "Psychic wins lottery"?
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BioKraze wrote:
Is Stalin buried in a Communist plot?
I know this is a rhetorical question, but I do believe he was buried next to his mum.
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Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
If Americans call Australia "Down Under," do Australians call America "Up Over?" (Sorry, Tamago!)
Is "buffet" French for "get it yourself?"
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BioKraze wrote:
If Americans call Australia "Down Under," do Australians call America "Up Over?" (Sorry, Tamago!)
Its alright!
Here is a few good ones.
Why is it that the books everybody admires are the ones that nobody reads?
How come pages in a book never become cat-eared?
Why do hair shampoo instructions say "Lather. Rinse. Repeat"? If you did this would you ever be able to stop?
Why is it that so many people can't wait to get to Heaven, but are so afraid of dying?
If Hippopotomonstrausesquippedaliophobia meant a 'fear of large words', and if you could say your sickness, would you be cured?
Why is it when we duck, they call us chicken?
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Going off on a tangent, but still well within topic, are these wise words of wisdom:
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usuallty be sedated wiitha a few pieces of chocolate cake.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
Life's partner in crime, death, has always been a fast worker. But some people go out of their way to find death before death finds them.
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