This is a static copy of In the Rose Garden, which existed as the center of the western Utena fandom for years. Enjoy. :)

#1 | Back to Top11-04-2012 08:04:21 AM

TheOnlyFlorence
Revolution Televisor
Registered: 09-16-2012
Posts: 454

Burnout

I've come across quite the dilemma: I'm tired.


I'm tired of pretty much everything. I'm tired of working three jobs. I'm tired of acting in shows I don't like. I'm tired of the videogames I play. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of exercising. I'm tired of looking at my ugly mug in the mirror. I'm tired of always being so antsy. I'm tired of not being cut any slack. I'm tired of my illness. I'm tired of the humid weather. I'm tired of the news. I'm tired of the old. I'm tired of sleeping enough but still being drained. I'm just plain tired.


So, I ask you all, how do you all deal with burnout?

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#2 | Back to Top11-04-2012 08:12:54 AM

Atropos
Atropos Turretslayer
From: Hampden College
Registered: 10-22-2011
Posts: 907

Re: Burnout

Writing, mostly. It's a kind of therapy for me.

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#3 | Back to Top11-04-2012 10:40:55 AM

Aine Silveria
Pumpkin Bride
From: Allegan, MI
Registered: 11-03-2006
Posts: 2098

Re: Burnout

I... don't have any good advice for that, since that's pretty much where I am, and I don't even have the impetus to be creative beyond small bits (which as the poster above stated, can be pretty restorative).

You're not the only one though.


http://i1130.photobucket.com/albums/m526/aines_pixels/mikageirgsig02-2012.png

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#4 | Back to Top11-04-2012 11:06:05 AM

Riri-kins
World's End
From: Cloud Nine
Registered: 09-22-2008
Posts: 2354

Re: Burnout

I wish I had a good answer since my disease usually makes me depressed or dangerously angry when I'm burned out.  Have you tried just having a good cry with your best friend or taking a vacation?


Proud Saionji and Mikage fangirl
My Utena fanfiction: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2000115/Riri-kins

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#5 | Back to Top11-04-2012 12:16:57 PM

satyreyes
no, definitely no cons
From: New Orleans, Louisiana
Registered: 10-16-2006
Posts: 10328
Website

Re: Burnout

Can I join the club?  My brain is Burnout Central Station most of the time, going on a year now.  emot-frown

I don't have a good answer that isn't circular.  A good answer that is circular is to go do something new -- which could be a vacation as Riri says, a creative project as Atropos says, or almost anything else you haven't done before.  (Learn to garden?  Go to a gun range?  Volunteer?)  But it's hard to do that when you're badly burned out.  You need motivation to do something new, and you need to do something new to get motivation.  So this answer is not as good as it seems.

If you're insured, you could try antidepressants if you haven't already.  They haven't done me much good, but lots of people swear by them.  There's no shame or defeat in taking pills that give you the energy and impetus to improve your quality of life.

I don't know.  If I knew the answer I'd be applying it in my own life.  But I hope things get better for you soon.  etc-love

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#6 | Back to Top11-04-2012 01:13:11 PM

Dazmi
Miki Molester
From: Winnipeg, MB
Registered: 08-09-2012
Posts: 30
Website

Re: Burnout

I rest and rest hard when I get the chance. And gay porn. And drawing. And music. And spamming my little brothers desktop with silly pictures.

Little things like that keep me sane when I have an exhausting week...or exhausting year, be as it may. It may not always put out the flame, but at least it can prevent burns when I have to jump back into the fire.

Last edited by Dazmi (11-04-2012 01:52:02 PM)

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#7 | Back to Top11-04-2012 01:15:59 PM

Overlord Morgus
Banned
Registered: 02-22-2011
Posts: 314

Re: Burnout

Your constant exposure to noise might actually be a factor. Stand/sit in a place without any ambient sound aside from the wind and you'll probably see results. Even 30-40 minutes a day will probably give you results.

Last edited by Overlord Morgus (11-04-2012 01:18:48 PM)

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#8 | Back to Top11-04-2012 02:26:09 PM

Aine Silveria
Pumpkin Bride
From: Allegan, MI
Registered: 11-03-2006
Posts: 2098

Re: Burnout

That's a great idea, but completely impossible in the middle of the city where I live. Even the middle of the night, there's noise other than wind. I know a lot of us live in big cities, too.

Case in point, right now I have a barking dog next door, a flock of stampeding children playing 'football' in the street, a train going by in the distance... oh, and kitten-feet in my bathroom.

Getting out of the range of city noise is also impossible. :/ I can't drive and the bus doesn't get out of dodge enough.


http://i1130.photobucket.com/albums/m526/aines_pixels/mikageirgsig02-2012.png

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#9 | Back to Top11-04-2012 03:43:00 PM

TheOnlyFlorence
Revolution Televisor
Registered: 09-16-2012
Posts: 454

Re: Burnout

Atropos wrote:

Writing, mostly. It's a kind of therapy for me.

What kind of writing do you suggest? I did some Haiku stuff here a while ago, but I think I turned it into Debbie Downer... emot-frown


Riri-kins wrote:

I wish I had a good answer since my disease usually makes me depressed or dangerously angry when I'm burned out.  Have you tried just having a good cry with your best friend or taking a vacation?

My illness is like that, too. Thankfully, I haven't had a flare-up, so no emotional spasms due to that. Other shit, though, is seeming to seep in. I haven't cried since, like, January or so and it didn't really help, so I think I'll hold back for now. I wish I could take a vacation, but my current jobs don't permit that, leaving much to be desired outside of the world of multiple job-having.


satyreyes wrote:

If you're insured, you could try antidepressants if you haven't already.  They haven't done me much good, but lots of people swear by them.  There's no shame or defeat in taking pills that give you the energy and impetus to improve your quality of life.

I practically live through my plastic bottles, mon ami, so pills don't worry me. emot-rolleyes I'm actually on an SNRI right now. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it sucks. If I up the dosage, I get super tired, lethargic and lack the energy to do anything.


Overlord Morgus wrote:

Your constant exposure to noise might actually be a factor. Stand/sit in a place without any ambient sound aside from the wind and you'll probably see results. Even 30-40 minutes a day will probably give you results.

I might look into this, though I usually do sit in silence enough, though the time that I do, I'm actively signing, so I guess I should use some time to just sit and do nothing in silence?

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#10 | Back to Top11-04-2012 05:20:03 PM

Lurv
Pained Growlithe
Registered: 05-25-2012
Posts: 520

Re: Burnout

TheOnlyFlorence wrote:

Atropos wrote:

Writing, mostly. It's a kind of therapy for me.

What kind of writing do you suggest? I did some Haiku stuff here a while ago, but I think I turned it into Debbie Downer... emot-frown

Well, it is the writing month now, but NaNoWriMo would likely make you more burnt out. :x

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#11 | Back to Top11-04-2012 06:10:35 PM

Overlord Morgus
Banned
Registered: 02-22-2011
Posts: 314

Re: Burnout

TOF, every post you make makes me more and more incapable of imagining your lifestyle. emot-biggrin

More specifically, what do you mean by "actively signing?"

And yeah, total silence. Noise within your head is much more damaging than noise outside of it.

Last edited by Overlord Morgus (11-04-2012 06:13:15 PM)

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#12 | Back to Top11-04-2012 06:17:40 PM

Alithea
Dark Whisperer
From: Westminster, CO
Registered: 10-16-2006
Posts: 1152
Website

Re: Burnout

For me I think the best thing is to make changes, and I tend to start small. I was feeling really burnt out at work so I started updating my resume. I didn't send it out beyond a few places I really wanted to work. I dyed my hair. and then, eventually I made a move to an entirely different department that has freed me up to have time to really look at the other things that might be bothering me more than just the surface irritations. The surface irritations are the easiest to fix, but those fixes mean nothing if you don't take the time to explore the larger issues you are having that are the true cause of the burnout.

I still have a lot of work to do. But the small changes I've made have made me much happier. Next step includes setting aside an hour for writing...or staring at a blank word document which ever it happens to be. From there other things can come along.

Also, if it's possible for you, taking a few days off to just think about what you really want can help as well. Take yourself to a museum, sit at the park, treat yourself to a good meal. Sometimes the things causing burnout aren't quick fixes, but if you make a plan you can begin to move past it.


"The only reason to write is to write for love. Write for passion. If you have the privilege of being able to write, then don't do it for any other reason." - Stephen Sondheim

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#13 | Back to Top11-04-2012 06:21:59 PM

OnlyInThisLight
KING OF ALL DUCKS
Registered: 01-15-2008
Posts: 4412

Re: Burnout

There's a lot of psychological research out there that says one of the best things a person can do to make themselves happy is to do something altruistic.  Little else makes us as happy as knowing that we make others happy -or more accurately, not worrying about our own happiness makes us happier.  Depression is big old cycle of shit, and one big aspect of it is that it limits your perspective and turns everything inward.  You see everything as relating to you and your actions, your failings and flaws.  You spend waking hours poring over yourself and criticizing and analyzing your personality, thoughts and choices.  It's odd to put it this way, but its self-centered thinking, though you aren't of course thinking anything positive. 

Find something to care about, to be passionate for, find someone, anyone to help, even if all you can do is educate yourself on a problem or listen to stories of struggle.  You don't have to be a martyr, or to do it out of guilt, which will make your happiness dependent on the feelings of others.    It's not even about perspective, it's about knowing that in some small way you're accomplishing good, and realizing that you have the potential to do so... it gets you off your butt.  It connects you, it teaches you, and its as simple or as complex as you can handle or want it to be. 

Or just buy pretty, colorful things you don't need and can't afford in an attempt to fill the gaping hole that is your life and personality like I do.  emot-biggrin  Then rub them against your face, organize them and barely use them.

Last edited by OnlyInThisLight (11-04-2012 06:26:36 PM)

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#14 | Back to Top11-04-2012 09:10:29 PM

TheOnlyFlorence
Revolution Televisor
Registered: 09-16-2012
Posts: 454

Re: Burnout

OnlyInThisLight wrote:

There's a lot of psychological research out there that says one of the best things a person can do to make themselves happy is to do something altruistic.  Little else makes us as happy as knowing that we make others happy -or more accurately, not worrying about our own happiness makes us happier.  Depression is big old cycle of shit, and one big aspect of it is that it limits your perspective and turns everything inward.  You see everything as relating to you and your actions, your failings and flaws.  You spend waking hours poring over yourself and criticizing and analyzing your personality, thoughts and choices.  It's odd to put it this way, but its self-centered thinking, though you aren't of course thinking anything positive. 

Find something to care about, to be passionate for, find someone, anyone to help, even if all you can do is educate yourself on a problem or listen to stories of struggle.  You don't have to be a martyr, or to do it out of guilt, which will make your happiness dependent on the feelings of others.    It's not even about perspective, it's about knowing that in some small way you're accomplishing good, and realizing that you have the potential to do so... it gets you off your butt.  It connects you, it teaches you, and its as simple or as complex as you can handle or want it to be. 

Or just buy pretty, colorful things you don't need and can't afford in an attempt to fill the gaping hole that is your life and personality like I do.  emot-biggrin  Then rub them against your face, organize them and barely use them.

Altruism might be a good avenue. The thing is, I don't have a lot of people that I'm close to close to me, which is sad...

The passion that I had for things I enjoyed (acting, writing, film, data management, etc.) seems to have dwindled, though. I'll have to find some more people who have crawled out from this rock called "-Block."


Alithea wrote:

For me I think the best thing is to make changes, and I tend to start small. I was feeling really burnt out at work so I started updating my resume. I didn't send it out beyond a few places I really wanted to work. I dyed my hair. and then, eventually I made a move to an entirely different department that has freed me up to have time to really look at the other things that might be bothering me more than just the surface irritations. The surface irritations are the easiest to fix, but those fixes mean nothing if you don't take the time to explore the larger issues you are having that are the true cause of the burnout... Also, if it's possible for you, taking a few days off to just think about what you really want can help as well. Take yourself to a museum, sit at the park, treat yourself to a good meal. Sometimes the things causing burnout aren't quick fixes, but if you make a plan you can begin to move past it.

How does one exactly go about exploring, or finding out for that matter, what those issues are? I don't really know what's causing it, which feels quite irritating. I'm having to plow through these next couple of weeks before I'll get a moment to myself, so any discovery of or time for the self is having to be put on hold, unfortunately.


Overlord Morgus wrote:

TOF, every post you make makes me more and more incapable of imagining your lifestyle.

More specifically, what do you mean by "actively signing?"

Glad to add some mystery to the mix! By "actively signing," I mean that I'm engaging in American Sign Language (either with myself or with others). I have really wanted to get in with the Deaf community for quite some time, but I haven't had the chance, either due to school or work.

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#15 | Back to Top11-05-2012 05:31:51 AM

Alithea
Dark Whisperer
From: Westminster, CO
Registered: 10-16-2006
Posts: 1152
Website

Re: Burnout

How does one exactly go about exploring, or finding out for that matter, what those issues are? I don't really know what's causing it, which feels quite irritating. I'm having to plow through these next couple of weeks before I'll get a moment to myself, so any discovery of or time for the self is having to be put on hold, unfortunately.

That can be the tricky part. That's why I generally start changing small things first. it chips away at the superficial, or tiny straws breaking the camel's back. Talking things out with someone you really trust can help you, or even writing it out in journal form. Just the important thing is not to be afraid of whatever may come out, and not hold anything back because eventually you hit on the truth of the matter and it may be surprising. I know I'll start sometimes with talking about how my job bothers me and end up all the way down the line of really being upset because what I don't have out here are many friendly connections. And then when you hit those realizations you can decide what to do about them.

It's work, and it's a little bit at a time everyday. But the more you work the more you know yourself and understand sooner what it is that is causing your burnout when it occurs.


"The only reason to write is to write for love. Write for passion. If you have the privilege of being able to write, then don't do it for any other reason." - Stephen Sondheim

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#16 | Back to Top11-06-2012 11:24:32 AM

TheOnlyFlorence
Revolution Televisor
Registered: 09-16-2012
Posts: 454

Re: Burnout

Yesterday, I had 45 minutes to take for lunch, so I spent 10 getting it and the other 30 just sitting in complete silence (though regrettably, as the classical station was having a Chopin block).

While I enjoyed my smoothie, I sat and thought about why I was so upset. It started off with me not liking certain people, but as I explored it, it evolved into me not enjoying the levels of perfection some have against my own.

I already hold myself to a pretty high standard of performance, as far as work goes. Some of the things I was critiqued on lately were seemingly trivial, not really worth it (in my opinion) in the long run.

Granted, I still tried my best that day to reach their expectations, but then the need was cut when they decided to shorten the performances (for the school shows), nipping many of the lines I worked hard on in the bud.

The second problem I gleaned from my self-musings was not being happy with myself and where I was.

I am not happy with myself because I'm failing in areas that I should be doing decently in at this point in time. I've allowed certain things to keep holding me back when I should have dealt with it quite a long time ago. Now, unfortunately, my work is going to interfere with the time I will have to spend on this issue, but hopefully I'll be able to resolve it soon enough.

Third, I thought about why I was burnt out. My brain delved into various avenues, and ultimately we came to agree that I was "tired" due to not having a good support system, not having the right kind of affection, using a persona too often and having an overall pessimistic attitude towards the ideas of others.

So... yeah... just thought I'd share.

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#17 | Back to Top11-06-2012 01:59:40 PM

Overlord Morgus
Banned
Registered: 02-22-2011
Posts: 314

Re: Burnout

I've allowed certain things to keep holding me back when I should have dealt with it quite a long time ago. Now, unfortunately, my work is going to interfere with the time I will have to spend on this issue, but hopefully I'll be able to resolve it soon enough.

What can you cut out of your life to make these things easier to deal with? You sound like someone who likes to involve his/herself in too many things. And what's holding you back?

Last edited by Overlord Morgus (11-06-2012 02:04:22 PM)

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#18 | Back to Top11-07-2012 06:44:21 AM

TheOnlyFlorence
Revolution Televisor
Registered: 09-16-2012
Posts: 454

Re: Burnout

Overlord Morgus wrote:

What can you cut out of your life to make these things easier to deal with? You sound like someone who likes to involve his/herself in too many things. And what's holding you back?

Things I Could Cut

- Family ties
- Long Commutes
- Flash games
- Amount of time spent on computer
- Amount of things I like to do

Things I Could Add

- More working out / Fencing / Kickboxing
- Diving into the Deaf community
- More friends
- More judging Speech & Debate
- More Papercrafts

List tentative at this time.

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#19 | Back to Top11-07-2012 02:55:38 PM

Overlord Morgus
Banned
Registered: 02-22-2011
Posts: 314

Re: Burnout

No, I mean, what's practical/painless to cut out? Aside from Flash games and computer time, that list doesn't seem easy to cut. And why do you care so much about the deaf community? I get wanting to help others, but why them, specifically?

Last edited by Overlord Morgus (11-07-2012 02:59:41 PM)

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#20 | Back to Top11-07-2012 08:29:31 PM

TheOnlyFlorence
Revolution Televisor
Registered: 09-16-2012
Posts: 454

Re: Burnout

Overlord Morgus wrote:

No, I mean, what's practical/painless to cut out? Aside from Flash games and computer time, that list doesn't seem easy to cut. And why do you care so much about the deaf community? I get wanting to help others, but why them, specifically?

Oh, practical... umm.... that's a rough one. I guess I'm going to have to just make a small list as I go through my day of small hassles? Maybe that's one way to go about tackling that...

The Deaf community is one I can relate to really well. For the most part, everyone else in the world doesn't know how to go about communicating with the Deaf, so they just don't do anything. Without communication, the world is a very lonely place. I guess I just sort of know how they feel, to an extent.

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#21 | Back to Top11-07-2012 09:32:36 PM

allegoriest
Delicious Duellist
From: Cloudcuckooland
Registered: 10-16-2006
Posts: 2507
Website

Re: Burnout

TheOnlyFlorence wrote:

Overlord Morgus wrote:

No, I mean, what's practical/painless to cut out? Aside from Flash games and computer time, that list doesn't seem easy to cut. And why do you care so much about the deaf community? I get wanting to help others, but why them, specifically?

Oh, practical... umm.... that's a rough one. I guess I'm going to have to just make a small list as I go through my day of small hassles? Maybe that's one way to go about tackling that...

The Deaf community is one I can relate to really well. For the most part, everyone else in the world doesn't know how to go about communicating with the Deaf, so they just don't do anything. Without communication, the world is a very lonely place. I guess I just sort of know how they feel, to an extent.

As a faux-deaf person, I applaud your deaf community work. *sorta blowing kiss looking thankyou sign* (I... just have very diseased ears that sometimes require surgery to work right again.) Personally, I think it sounds kinda stressful, but it's a good thing to be doing~

But I'd put in more papercraft. Cause it's really fun.




...Of course, like, I'm a smoldering crash and burn, but I figured I'd just add that in.

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#22 | Back to Top11-09-2012 11:00:44 PM

TheOnlyFlorence
Revolution Televisor
Registered: 09-16-2012
Posts: 454

Re: Burnout

I'm sorry to hear about your ears, Allergoriest. I do hope that they get better, or that treatment/surgery is quick and relatively pain-free.

What exactly is stressful about signing? Or were you talking about something else?

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#23 | Back to Top11-17-2012 06:38:37 PM

TheOnlyFlorence
Revolution Televisor
Registered: 09-16-2012
Posts: 454

Re: Burnout

Apologies in advance for the double-post, but I am here with an update.



I would first like to mention that progress has been made.


A problem I've run into often is having to be "on" all the time. That is to say, being at either a state of alert, caution, high energy, happiness (fake and real), or any other positive state (positive, as in adding something, rather than taking away from).


I believe this is one of the factors that has been hitting me most. I'm being around people (some of whom I like, others l'envers), requiring me to put on the mask that I'm doing alright. For real, no one wants to be social with someone who's down. It's a fact, though sad as it is.


The solution is relatively simple: take breaks from people.


But then there's this conundrum: If I take breaks from the people, I won't get the chance to form social links, build a semi-strong support system, or, in general, get friends.


Now, I guess, is the part where I need to find balance. I have to force myself to be social, bear through some uncomfortable moments, for the sake of making friends/getting eventual support.


But do they start to wonder anything when I decline? I had to take a moment for myself this afternoon (I felt) and didn't go out to lunch with them. Do they think anything? Do they say anything?


One thing I don't like is that I've also been branded as the "smart guy" type. Yes, I can count cards fairly well. Yes, I beat most anyone at Rock-Paper-Scissors. Yes, I like to read. Yes, I like to write. Am I a physicist? No. Am I an engineer? No. Do I not talk a lot unless I have something to contribute? Yes.


I guess I shouldn't let that get to me, but it really is starting to.



Another major malfunction I'm attempting is the family. In general, they are practiced hypocrites, do not think often, and are unnerving to try to get along with. As much as I feel somewhat obligated to be with them, I can't help but feel that my life would be exceptionally better if I only saw them once a year.


They also have this terrible, awful tendency to project their feelings onto their cats. They will "describe the interaction between their two pets" (should one come to visit the other), stating the "animal's dislike" of a situation or of the other owner's pet. While humorous to observe the first time, it's getting to be too common and passively hostile.



I know there's plenty of work to be done, but I really just want to play videogames.

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