Notes have been added to Chapter 1, so I'm not an asshole that doesn't stick content warnings on their possibly traumatic material.  I hate ff.net's rules about author's notes, (not to mention their rules about URLs) they make it ugly and GODDAMNIT I'M TRYING TO BE AS NON-PRESENT IN THE PRESENTATION OF THIS AS POSSIBLE AS AN AUTHOR, AND YOU ARE NOT HELPING, WEBSITE ADMINS.  I do have some idea why they do it, but talk about not putting an ounce of trust in your authors.

Also, I've gotten back on the "one post a week" train.  Why did I think that I could just whip out a story about a slow descent into paranoia and madness?  No one can just whip out a story about a slow descent into paranoia and madness.  Screw me and my digressions from digressions from endeavors that I shouldn't have started in the first place.

But, chapter notes!

Against the Inevitable

Oh crap, now I have to say something about this chapter.

I'm kind of rethinking my whole approach to the mixed perspectives thing.  Not so confident in my skills at internal narrative, or my skills at employing it in a non-terrible way.  But fanfics are my petri dishes, so I'm gonna poke that little squishy bugger 'till it does something interesting or drops dead.

But this does rate pretty high in the "knowing who the hell is talking" scale.  That's good, right?

Aright, jumping on that weekly update schedule.  Might consider updating it to twice-weekly, at least until we get done wading through the middle of this climactic bullshit.  So I can de-invisiblize those lawyers, see.

But guess who forgot to post a chapter a couple weeks back?  Well, I say chapter, but… it's 47 words.  Because someone is still terrible at internal narration.  Not naming any names.  Also not referring to my lack of confidence in my writing skill.

So there's that.  That's definitely not all for today, and I was considering doing a double post, and that wouldn't even count as part of it.  So.  Chapter notes.

Edit: So instead of saying I was TOTALLY GOING TO POST A THING and then disappearing into the ether like the unsatisfying ending to some ARG, I am actually posting a chapter that isn't ridiculously short, as well.

Reiteration

Shooooooort chaaaaapter.  The shortest chapter.  Holy shit.

I did some research, to find out if there is a clinical term for this.  There isn't.  But damned if that wasn't some depressing research.

The Wound That Fools Bear

I can't say I actually like this chapter.  It's a bit off-the-rails, character-wise, and while I have done the setup work to pull it off, still.  Not thrilled.

Last edited by Kita-Ysabell (04-16-2014 08:41:25 PM)

I'm pretty happy to finally be getting this chapter up.  Means we're almost to the end of this climactic/transitional period.  Then I can go back and de-invisible-ize those lawyers!  And the kids being terribly broken!  And basically waffle around for an age before getting to anything that happens after this point in the timeline, because that's where things start falling apart.

One chapter today, partially because I want to go work on original work, partially because I want to post the next two chapters together maybe if I'm posting anything together (well, lawyers are a buffer, so maybe) and three chapters would be right out, especially for my current update schedule.  I like having an update schedule.

But, chapter notes!

Undue Influence:

I really shouldn't be so excited about something so horrible, should I?

Fuck it, don't care.

I've posted it before, of course, here.  That is… incredibly unpolished, compared to the current version.  If you haven't read it, read the current one first.  Otherwise the subliminal messaging doesn't work as well.  Clearly.  Also, it's so much better in context.  So much.

I, uh, yeah.  Power dynamics.  Innuendoes up the ying-yang.  Stolen references.  An unbutton-off.  Way too many puns and near-puns.

I think this might be my favorite chapter.  The first draft was solid, and the editing has helped loads.

And the cutoff ending, well.  Yes, I'm sure it has something to do with me being a bit of a prude, and not wanting to subject everyone to crappy virgin porn, but I also like to think of it as Touga blacking the fuck out.  In probably more than one sense of the term.

Kita-Ysabell wrote:

Undue Influence:

"Involved with students," hehehehe.

Kita-Ysabell wrote:

Recalling the Great Philosopher:

Holy crap that chapter was horrifying.

Last edited by Dreaded Claymore (04-30-2014 09:09:17 PM)

Weekly update, check.

I'm… in a mood, I'm not going to bother with chapter notes.

I-  I-

d'awwww.    Thank you so much!

I'm sorry I haven't updated in an age.

I'm stuck on another thing I swear I'll finish before the year's over, or chuck it overboard, and then I'll either get back to this or doing original, possibly publishable work.  So, uh, no promises.  But

Anyways, if you come up with anything to say, feel free, and I'll be an enigmatic bitch about it, because in that aspect at least, Ikuhara is my idol.  And don't worry about not saying it right, or not getting it, or whatever.  I find that criticism is like 40% learning the context and 60% learning to go with and articulate your gut instinct.  Just getting it said is like, 90% of being good at saying it.

If you want to read more things I've written, I'm happy to link… it.  Happy to link it.  Because there's really only one.  It ends in the middle of nowhere, with no resolution, and all the buildups not paying off.  And I can't say I'm particularly motivated to finish it.  Well there's also the thing floating around in IFD, but that is straight-up terrible.

Also, welcome to the forum!

prumm wrote:

No worries! I get that some updates just take longer than others. I'd be happy to read your other stuff in the meanwhile.

Ahahahaha no this is a legit hiatus.  I even had a real update schedule, and I completely blew it, and I haven't been working on this at all for months.  That said, summer is slow for me, I have, like, real work to contend with.  I won't lie, hearing that someone's read and thought about it is definitely a motivator for keeping finishing this (I swear it can be done!) nearer to the top of my priority list.  But "finish a thing" is #1, and there's something else that I think I can finish faster, plus I know I'll burn through my interest in that canon more quickly, since, well, it's no SKU.

Thinking of which, I wonder if having read this will influence your interpretation of canon at all at, being less versed in it than I think my "typical" (yeah, right) audience would be.  Let me know if you notice anything!  You can be my little fox.

Anyways, if you want to keep up with me and my writing (holy shit who would want to do that?) I have a terribly-formatted tumblr.  And To Inherit a War is… I kinda think it would be nice to come back to it, but it's not something that I think is that important to me.  I mean, fanfiction has been a great playground, and it's absolutely where I learned how to develop a plot and themes and stuff, but in the end it's… kind of a dead end.  It would be nice to actually publish, and I can't do that if I pour all my writing effort into other people's intellectual properties.

Well, not unless Marvel wants to hire me as a character writer.  Me and my empty goddamn portfolio.  Eh?  Eh?  Not so much?  Well, then.

prumm wrote:

I suppose one of the first things I noted was the same issue of the first and second person chapters being a bit confusing initially, except that these sections quickly became some of my favorites. I like the less concrete air that they have, which I think goes together with how they usually focus on a character's thoughts or memories. They seem non sequitur at the first read through, but they always tie in with the emotions and problems that Saionji and Touga face. Combining these chapters with the "scene skips" that happen between a few chapters encouraged me to think about more than just the sequence in events of the story, which I thought was really refreshing to see in a fanfic!

Yeah, reading through this… wow my narrative voice has matured since that last major edit.  I'm going to have to do another one or lean pretty heavily on the "it's supposed to read like a bad translation!" thing.

I'm glad you found my being opaque rewarding in… some way.  I think, first time I wrote them down, the internal narration sections were my favorite, but as I went on, they tended to fall out of favor as I honed my skills in showing that sort of thing indirectly, in the not-internal-monologueing bits.  Writing.  Yes.  Let me blather about it.

prumm wrote:

I also noticed how the pacing of the story changes a few times; the beginning is very much following a string of events that relate to the overall plot, but once Touga moves in with Saionji, there are a lot more episodic chapters mixed in. I love seeing these chapters that give various accounts of what the relationship between these two and others is really like, although it does make it a bit hard to determine the timeline of the story sometimes. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, though.

That is some keen observation there.  I always knew that time before the whole Apartmentstuck Episode 1 bit was different, but I'd never really been able to put my finger on what was different about it.  While I do kind of intend to smooth things out afterwards… there's also a lot of "this is how things more or less were over a long period of time."  The timeline is generally… it's chronological, with the exceptions of things that happened in the past, but the act of remembering is chronological as well.

prumm wrote:

And it's so unfair that you would have that mysterious phone call from Anthy so early on and then let it stay a mystery! I'm sure that figuring out the enigma that is Anthy is not Saionji's priority right now, but it worries me! That, combined with how they sealed the invitations with the Rose Seal and the fact that your relationship chart has Anthy and Akio still connected makes me wonder how this fits with the series continuity…

It's not his priority right now, but it's sure as shit going to be before I reach the planned ending. ~woo mysterious woo~

I'd think you'd pick up more on how everyone seems to remember everything.  As far as continuity goes, I might be putting an unusual spin on it, but this is intended to have happened after the events of the series.  Anthy and Akio still sharing a connection?  Yeah, well, she did walk away with his sword.  Anthy and Akio have motivations in this, and those motivations are significant (they drive the plot!) and they will be more or less revealed in time.  However, they're not in the spotlight, especially not in the bits that are most prominent with the bits posted that are currently posted.

prumm wrote:

So yeah! Those are the general thoughts I have at this point in the story. Now that I've actually posted on this forum instead of lurking for the links to the Sega Saturn game roms, I'll try not to be shy!

Thanks!  In return for letting me ramble about this, and for the feedback, I probably owe you a read-through in return.  If you've got anything you want me to look through, let me know.

Oh, hey.  Guess who was like "I'm probably never gonna touch this again" and then updated?

I'm almost hesitant to make a post about it, 'cause then maybe people will read the thing, and at this point... I know I can probably write a lot better than some of this early stuff, and if/when I do come back to this, (and, with the fandom the way it's been lately, I kinda want to) I... like... on the one hand, I know I can do better.  On the other, there's still actually a lot that stands up.

One thing that I noticed is... I can make it waaaaay clearer that Touga and Saionji are screwing like, throughout the entire fic.  It's not very clear now, and looking back... well, I still don't want to subject anyone to crappy virgin porn, (unless it's part of the exercise at hand, which, in this case, it is not) but this goes beyond even that.  Like, they really don't touch that much.  Didn't strike me as odd before, but it does now.

But Akio never Akiosplains, and this is the greatest crime of all, and needs to be fixed.

Anyways, I also fixed uh... a subplot.  A very UH subplot.  Which... ended up changing the entire fic?  Yay?  I dunno, I like it this way.  The writing process: five years later you'll fix plot thread with troubling implications, and suddenly an entire character's motivation changes, and you're like, ok, yep.

So, I wanted to post some of the new material, because it like... legit feels bad to have the old version up.  I also have some endgame stuff written, but I'm not gonna post that 'till I actually finish the fic, so for now, here, have all the intervening bits!

Chapter (well, vignettes, really) Notes I Guess:

Discretion:

The Lawyers are no longer invisible!  They uh, also appear to maybe not be human?  Welp, ok then, former writing me.

A Matter of Pride:

There should be zero question whose perspective this section is from.

Expectations:

Smooth transition is smooth!

I dunno what else to say, apparently this is the longest of the new sections, but it doesn't feel like it should be.

Eternity:

Just... Touga.  Buddy.  I'm sure you've heard of the first person singular pronoun?  No?  Alright then.

One Evening:

And now we get to like, the legit new content, that puts EVERYTHING else in perspective, and... well, that sure is a thing that happened.