Is it mere coincidence that I had to run off to the bathroom prior to returning to reply to your pic-enhanced post on the "Out of left View" thread, Katzenklavier?

Poor A-Ko and B-Ko.

Last edited by Lurv (07-19-2012 01:52:24 PM)

satyreyes . . . I think you just make me wanna continue writing more non-out-of-left-field SKU thingies despite my own very limited free time

Atropos wrote:

Revolutionary Girl Utena: Non-Out of Left Field, Lesbian-Free Apocalypse

Wow, that reads very much like the title the tools behind "Ursula's Kiss" tried imposing upon the movie . . . shucks to them that they got bankrupt before getting to go that far

Oh, the movie butchering will come (since I've already came up with the Movie Touga lice check thing (see Out of Left Field thread)).  But I'd have to add in the Utena/Akio Non-Out of Left Field perspective for the TV series first (thanks for the remind, Satyreyes!), that, and the non-lesbian of Juri + non-incestuous twins

edited to add:

Can somebody find me a link to the movie's script so I can start fiddling with it please~

Last edited by gorgeousshutin (07-20-2012 09:53:15 AM)

You were right about the fifties-isms--I wasn't expecting the format you ended up using, and in that, you're right, it doesn't work well. So I'm not disappointed.

Also, someone NEEEEEDS to edit the Forty-Year Old Virgin poster to be Thousand-Year Old Virgin as Akio. I will give that person my internet babies.

...So she pissed in his face?

SKU: Non-Out-Of-Left-Field Remix Pt 3  (I can't believe I'm still putting time into this while not working on Seinen Kakumei )

Not for profit blah blah blah don’t sue blah blah blah.

(We see A-ko and B-ko watching Utena reruns for the up-teenth time.)

B-ko: Curse that C-ko for ruining like all the hot scenes for me with that non-out of left field thingie; now I can’t even get wet during those innuendo-charged Akio scenes no more!

A-ko:  At least we can still watch for the show for the greatness that is Juri, who reminds us again and again just how awesome non-straight women are, especially when compared to those boyfriend-stealing straight sluts we all hate-

C-ko (voice from somewhere): Out of left field view #2: Juri is Lesbian/bi; there isn't anything “close to even come close to suggesting she is lesbian” . . .?  Hey, that doesn’t read quite right . . . 

A-ko/B-ko:  What the . . . ?! (They gawked at C-ko appearing on their TV scene, waving a tape about.)

C-ko (persisting on): Anyway!  This whole Juri is gay thing is as baseless as the Gundam Wing boys being flaming homos, I’m telling ya!  And do I got proof-

B-ko (in sheer horror):  No!  Not one of those non-out of left field perspective clips again!

A-ko (exasperated):  Oh, for  . . . there’s no way you can take the gay out of Juri no matter how skewered a perspective you use – the girl displays lesbian traitss in EVERY scene she’s in, for crying out loud!

C-ko (defiant): You think so, huh?  Watch THIS!

Clip Starts

Episode 7 - Juri's Un-gayness

miki:  Are you in love with someone, Juri-san?
miki:  An unrequited feeling is hard to bear.
juri:  Yes, I was in love. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: . . . until some bitch destroyed it all, that is.)
shounenn:  You've got me.
shounenn:  I give up. I'm beaten completely.
shounenn:  You'd be a good match for even high school guys, Juri.
juri:  Thank you.  (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: I am indeed popular with older guys, but I’d settle for you instead, cutie tush.)
shiori (making her ruinous appearance):  Believe in a miracle, that your wish come true.
juri:  But I knew... that this romance would never be fulfilled. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Cause many guys get intimidated by truly beautiful women, and will settle for lowly butt faces instead.)
Juri:  "Believe in a miracle, that your wish come true."
juri:  That was her favorite phrase. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: I often caught her whimpering this to herself during her time as my footstool in grade school.)

<Skip>

juri (to Utena):  Why are you always dressed like a boy? (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Freaks me out, you know.)
utena:  Well, how should I put it... blahblahblah (Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception:   Juri can not hear a word Utena says, so disturbed is she by the latter’s homophobia-inducing tomboy style.)
utena:  blahblahblah . . . Sempai...?
(Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception:  Juri attacks Utena out of her base, homophobic tendency.  Drama ensues.)

<skip>

annshi-:  May your wish come true someday.
juri:  Mind your own business.  (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Unless you’re gonna replace that bitch as my footstool, that is.)
touga:  So, do you admit the existence of miracles?
juri:  Who knows? (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Who cares about miracles when the hottest boy toy at school is like right within my reach?)
juri:  But if she really does have the power to revolutionize the world,
juri:  I'll wrest it from her with my own hands. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Just my way of impressing you, beef buns.)

<skip>

shiori:  You must hate me for being like this...
juri:  Yes, I do. Because you're not even aware of my wish. (Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception: Juri glares into the locket with Shiori’s pic in it, wowing to someday again put the butt-faced bitch under her feet where she belongs.)

Episode 17 - Bitch Slap of Death

Shiori: You must hate me for being like this.
Juri: Yes, I do hate you.  (Non-Out of Left Field Audio/Mind Perception: Nope, no subtext whatsoever.)

<skip>

Shiori: It's you he thinks of most since those days, Juri-san.  (Non-Out of Left Field Audio/Mind Perception:   Juri (thinking): Thank you for the obvious statement, may I have another?)
Shiori: But I'm not sorry I took him away from you...
Shiori: You must hate me for being like this.  (Non-Out of Left Field Audio/Mind Perception:   Juri (thinking): You little . . . I’ll steal your thunder yet!)

<skip>

Juri: No, I was never in love with him...
Juri: ...so there's nothing for you to fret over. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble:   Don’t you feel stu-pid now, butt face?)
Shiori: Then, whose picture is in your pendant?
Shiori: You have it hidden under your clothes even now!
Juri: It's you. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: It’s called a “locket”, dumb whore, and I’ve had it voodooed so that whomever’s face pic I put in it will get acne!)

<skip>

Utena: I don't know the circumstances, but why don't you forgive her?
Utena: Shiori-san is a nice person, isn't she? You two were once close, weren't you? (Non-Out of Left Field Audio/Mind Perception:   Juri (thinking): As close as one could be to a human footstool, I guess)
Utena: Besides, it seems like she really trusts you.
Juri: You're just like Shiori...
Juri: ...cruelly innocent.
Utena: Which means...
Juri: (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Which means that I’m about to make YOU my footstool if you don’t zip it right now!) Look, it's none of your business.  (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Alas, I’m truly too nice . . .)

<skip>

(Juri throwing locket into pound.)
Juri: It was because of my weakness that I couldn't discard your picture.
Juri: But I don't believe in miracles. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Instead of sitting back and waiting for your pathetic life to crumble, I’m gonna pro-actively make it happen starting now.)

<skip>
Shiori: This is yours, isn't it? (shows locket)
Juri: How did you...?
Juri: Did you look... inside?
Shiori: If you'd have told me, I'd have given you a better picture.  (Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception:   Juri (thinking): No need, your butt face profile should’ve been plenty good enough for the acne voodoo to work . . . which, from what I’m seeing, did work.)
Shiori: So pretty...
Shiori: I liked the look in your eyes when you were hurt.
Juri: (Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception: Juri freaks out in revulsion.) Shiori, don't tease me... (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: I had a big lunch, and you’re about to make me throw it all up!)
Shiori (trippy thus sultry under black rose influence): You're supposed to be stronger than anyone, but now you're like this...
(Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception: : Juri, breaking under the strain of same sex revulsion, throws her head back in agony as she expells her soul sword.)

Episode 28 - Hetero Longings in the Dark

Juri:  Feelings I can never put into words.
Juri:  But my heart always keeps on whispering. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Ruka, my emo hero . . .)

<skip>

Ruka:  I was wondering how much you'd grown while I was away,
Ruka:  but it looks like I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.
Juri:  So it really was you, Captain. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: So he noticed that I’m still as slim as ever!  Must play hard to get, must not show interest . . .)
Juri:  Ruka has returned to the Academy.
Nanami:  Ruka has?
Juri: (Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception: :  All dreamy inside.) Yes. Tsuchiya Ruka, Captain of the Fencing Club.
Miki:  Juri-san, aren't you the Captain of the Fencing Club?
Juri:  I'm just minding things in his absense. ... (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: I’d serve him in other ways too, should opportunity arise.)

<skip>

Ruka (smug):  The Ends of the World seems rather displeased.
Ruka:  He complains that none of you have any spine.
Juri (Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception:   admiringly) : Have you been chosen too?
Miki:  Then you're going after Tenjou-san too?
(Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception: :  Juri (thinking):No!  Curse that ironing boarding and her attracting all the hot guys!) 
Ruka:  Hey now. I'm still recovering.
(Non-Out of Left Field Audio/Mind Perception: :  Juri exhales in relief.) 
Nanami:  Then what do you intend to do?
Ruka:  Good question. Well, I haven't been at the Academy for a while.
Ruka:  For now, I think I'll just enjoy the carefree student life.
(Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception:   Juri (thinking): He’s saying he’s still gonna sleep around . . . damn; why couldn’t he’ve come to me to sate his needs? ) 

<skip>

Juri:  You're the Captain of the Fencing Team. I leave the management of the club in your hands.  (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: : Fuck me, I suck at conversation with cute guys!)
Ruka:  Oh?
Juri:  And whatever you're plotting as a Duelist is none of my concern.
Juri:  But... (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: : That prominent budge of his is so damned distracting!)
Ruka:  But?
Juri:  Keep your hands off of Shiori. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: : Don’t let her soil your gold member now.)
Ruka:  What for?
Juri:  Shiori is...  (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: : A butt-faced footstool whore, but I can’t say something so vulgar to his handsome face.)  Shiori is an old friend of mine.
Ruka:  I see. I understand what you're saying.
Ruka:  But I think you're misunderstanding something.
Juri:  What?
Ruka:  I said already that I was going to live the carefree life.
Ruka:  Why shouldn't I be free to enjoy romance with anyone in the Academy I want?
(Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception: :  Juri (thinking):You can’t, my Adonis, not with that boyfriend stealing butt-faced whore!) 

<skip>

(Ruka kissing Shiori while glacing sideways at Juri.)
Juri:  He knows.
Juri:  He knows everything. (Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception: :  Juri (thinking): He’s so teasing me by playing hard to get!) 

<skip>

Shiori:  Oh, Juri-san.
Shiori:  What's that expression for?
Juri:  Shiori, you shouldn't go out with him.  (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: : I’m warning you here, bitch!)
Shiori:  What?
Juri:  Your surprise is understandable. But, I'm worried about you.  (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: : Yeah, worried that you’d get your skank germs on my man!)
Juri:  You mustn't trust that-
Shiori:  Juri-san.
Shiori:  You really suck, you know?
(Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception: :  Juri (thinking): Why you little . . . !)

<skip>

Juri:  I thought I told you to keep your hands off Shiori.  (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: : Can’t you see she is one STD infested slime dump?)
Ruka:  She chose this herself.
Juri:  Don't say that. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: : Say she dug her own whore grave instead!)
Ruka:  Right. There's no need for me to say it.
Ruka:  After all, you know it better than anybody else.
Juri:  Ruka! What're you after! What're you thinking?! (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: : What’s keeping you from bonking me?!)
(Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception: :  Ruka goes off, leaving Juri unfullfiled.)
Juri:  Ruka!!

Episdoe 29 – The Plot Stretched Thinner than The Sky

Shiori:  Juri-san, so it's you.
Shiori:  What do you want? (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: I already knew you’re here to try make me your footstool again, but asking this question out loud make me sound cooler somehow.)
Juri:  Shiori...
Shiori:  You came to laugh at me and feel all superior, didn't you?!
Juri:  Of course not- (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Damn, you got me.)
Shiori:  You suck worse and worse every day! (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: And no talking back from you!  I’ll be singing in my head so your intimidating words can’t sway me!) )Did you expect me to cry for help on your shoulder?! (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to, if I want to . . .)
Shiori:  Too bad, but I'm not gonna do what you want me to.  (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: You would cry too if it happened to you!)
(Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception:   Juri: Curse her for being so much more resistant than before . . .  don’t think this is over yet, butt face footstool!)

<skip>

Ruka:  I was thinking about going out with you next.
Juri:  Who the fuck would go out with you?!  (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Sweeeeeet!!!!   But . . . a quality woman like me have to play hard to get . . .)
Ruka:  Don't you actually love me, the Captain of the Fencing Club?
Juri:  You bastard! You've insulted me enough! (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble:   Yes! Take me!)
Ruka:  Don't hold back now.
Juri:  Who's hol-
(Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception:   Liplocking ensues, during which Juri greatly enjoys herself, prior to slapping Ruka like the debuntate she plays at being.  Realizes to her shock that Ruka now has her locket.)
Juri:  When did you-?
(Ruka tried crushing it under his foot.)
Juri:  Sto...stop it! Ruka! (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble:   You mustn’t!  The voodoo acne curse will transfer to whomever step on that jinx chain!  Let me save you . . .)
(Proceeds to slap Ruka, sucessfully stopping him from getting cursed.)
Ruka:  I've changed my mind. I'll do what you said. (Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception:   Juri (thinking):Yes!)
Ruka:  I'll make up with her.  (Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception:   Juri (thinkin):. . . dope!)
Ruka:  Do you hate me so much you can't stand it any more?
Juri:  Wait.
Juri:  Ruka, duel me.
Juri:  If I lose, I'll do whatever the hell you want me to. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble:   You can put it anywhere you want.)      
Juri:  But if I win, Shiori-
Ruka:  I got it. Say no more.
(Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble:   Do you really?  I was just about to suggest we taunt her with our sex tape after doing the naughty.)      

<skip>

Ruka:  Now, get in. You said you'd do whatever I told you.
Juri:  Where do you intend to take me? (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble:   Doing it in the pimpmobile . . . what ecstasy!)      
playback:  Tsuchiya-senpai, I have no one but you.
playback:  Tsuchiya-senpai, I have no one but you.
Juri:  Do you enjoy hurting her that much? (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Then let’s have her be your footstool while I ride you like crazy.)      
Ruka:  If we raise your latent abilities to their maximum, nobody could beat you.
Ruka:  I'm the one who brings out your abilities.
Ruka:  Our combination can beat Tenjou Utena...and obtain the Power of Miracles.
Juri: (Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception: : not hearing a word Ruka said, so focused is she on the anticipated orgy)  Did you corner Shiori and I this much just for that?
Ruka:  A sacrifice must be made for a miracle to occur.
Juri:  That's not fair! Do you want the Power of Miracles that badly?!  (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Did you plan for a threesome all along?!)
Ruka:  You're the one who wants the Power of Miracles!
Juri:  Shiori isn't some fucking tool of yours! (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble:   Bitch is a fucking tool of mine - which I can lend you if you promise to be a “good” boy.)
Ruka:  "Believe in miracles, that your wishes come true"...aren't those your words?
Juri:  You're misunderstanding something. I don't care if my wishes don't come true. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: Of couse I do, I’m just saying that.)
Juri:  And even if I obtained the Power of Miracles, the only thing I'd wish for... (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: . . . is you be my eternal loveslave, but I can’t say this plainly since I fear scaring you off, so . . .)
Juri:  ...is freeing her from you. That's all.
Juri:  I'm not letting you get your way any more. (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: I’ll definitely be on top during this ride.)      
Juri:  And to see that you don't, I'll even take you up on your proposition.  (Non-Out of Left Field Thought Bubble: If fighting Utena is the only way to get in your pants, so be it.)
Ruka:  So, we have a deal.
Akio:  (Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception: : looking like the forlorn thousand-year old virgin he is) I'll show you the Ends of the World. Yes, even you two. (Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception: : Proceeds to do acrobats over the car’s hood to pass time while the students make out hotly in the backseat.)

<skip>

(After all the drama is done with and Ruka is gone.)
Juri:  Are you doing well? The next time we meet...
Juri:  ...there's one thing I really want to ask.
Juri:  What hopes had you entrusted to the Power of Miracles?
Juri:  And who were they for?
Juri:  I pray that they come true.
(Non-Out of Left Field Visual/Mind Perception:  Shiori, self-esteem having crumbled after like a week without a man, meekly follows Juri begging to again be the stronger girl’s footstool; and that is how things go full circle for these girls in the most platonic manner ever.)

Episode 37 - The One to Hog the Glory-
Clip Ends (courtesy of A-ko turning off the TV)

(A full minute of ominous silence ensues.)

B-ko:  When I get my hands on C-ko, I’ll make that bitch be my footstool for as long as her scrawny shadow ass EXISTS!!

A-ko:  Footstool?  That’s so passe.  Haven’t you heard of the human vase?

B-ko (insane tremor to her voice):  Yes . . .

A-ko (likewise):  Yeah . . .

To Be Continued . . . ?

Last edited by gorgeousshutin (07-23-2012 03:13:45 PM)

Hope it entertained you, Lurv!

P.S.  The only thing that's keeping me from doing Revolutionary Girl Utena: Non-Out of Left Field, Lesbian-Free Apocalypse is that I don't have the english script with me.  I remember seeing it once like over a decade ago, but can no longer find it again . . .

The_Lame_Goat wrote:

I almost forgot about this fic, thank god I found it. The other day I was trying to think of a pc version of SKU, succeeded only in the mental image of Akio dragging duelists around in a red wagon down his driveway.

Thanks for liking this!  However, I've been discouraged from posting more of it on this forum, so it won't be updated here.  The fic is also on AO3 and FF.net, though I've not added any new chapter to it (since it seem to lose flavor once outside the specific setting of forum).

Zigzagzoom94 wrote:

gorgeousshutin wrote:

C-ko (persisting on): Anyway!  This whole Juri is gay thing is as baseless as the Gundam Wing boys being flaming homos, I’m telling ya!  And do I got proof-

This reminds me of the time my friend tried to argue that the film 'Topgun' isn't homoerotic in the slightest and that I was reading way too much into it.

I'm so proud that this is still being read even to this day