122. Not allowed to write the entire Monster Manual in-game, even if you have a nigh-omniscient awareness of the nature of demons/dragons/magical creatures/elementals/celestials.
123. If actually allowed to do this, not allowed to publish it for extra gold, either.
124. Playing as a mage with the Flaw: Epileptic is funny only once, if that.

128/ Your wizard's familiar doesn't exist to serve as an emergency food supply.
129/ Even if the rules allow it, your ride cannot be a Dire Velociraptor.
130/ The spell: Teleport Only Clothing does not exist in any Cleric domain.

Anthiena's rules
131: No, there is no "Summon Badass Longcoat" spell.
132: There is no such thing as Ruby Slippers or their equilivant.
133: Your summon mount cannot be EVA, Escaflowne, Patlabor or any known mecha.
134: You can't summon Utena as your mount, no matter how much Wakaba uses her as such.

Renumbered them to keep it in order.

135/ Unlike in Naruto, one ninja is not more dangerous than 20 ninjas,

139/ When Rangers check for possible traps, it does not involve groin grabs.
140/ Lichs cannot increase their AC by drinking milk.

146/ You cannot take monsters you have killed to the taxidermist.
147/ Arctic Elves do not know Santa.
148/ A penis enlargement will not increase my CHA.
149/ The same goes from breast enlargement.
150/ Paladins cannot take up the Profession: Fluffer.

151/ There is no such thing as a Dwarven Chainsaw.
152/ Elven women do not have a racial bonus for prick-teasing.
153/ There was no such things as Mastercard in the middle ages.

158. Casting a Fireball spell does not require you to yell "HADOKEN!" for it to take effect. Nor will it make the Fireball do extra damage.
159. Taking out life insurance policies on fellow party members before facing the Black Dragon is tasteless and immoral, not a clever money-making concept.

Edited by satyreyes for numbering

Last edited by satyreyes (02-22-2009 02:10:10 PM)

You need a group, Soukougnan   At least one other person.  Optimally a group should probably be four or five people.

All but one of these people will be "players."  Each controls an imaginary character -- a wizard, a fighter, or a cleric, for example.  The final person is the "Dungeon Master."  His job is to create the world in which these characters have their adventures.  He decides what monsters live in the abyss outside of town that the characters have boldly decided to venture into, or what kind of resistance the characters will face in liberating the town from the evil tyrant, or whatever the adventure of the day is.  He is also the final adjudicator of the game rules.  He should be the one who knows those rules best.  (If only one of your group knows the rules, it should be the DM.)

Those rules themselves are codified in the D&D Player's Handbook, or PHB, a somewhat intimidating but oh-so-much-fun-to-read tome available at any bookstore.  You'll need this book and the Monster Manual, which contains stats for various opponents to throw against the characters, to run a game.  There's a third book, the Dungeon Master's Guide (DMG), that gets called a core rulebook, but to be honest the PHB and Monster Manual are enough to run a game.  Buy these books, and preferably the DMG, and you and your friends will puzzle it out.  Make sure that the core rulebooks you buy are of the same edition.  I recommend 4th Edition, the most recent edition and therefore probably the easiest to find, but I know we have plenty of 3.5th Edition fans on the forum too.  Either is fine as long as the books you're buying match.

Aside: D&D has a lot of rules because D&D has a lot of freedom.  The characters can do anything they want in this imaginary world, so there need to be rules covering a lot of situations.  But the basic mechanics of the game are actually pretty simple (roll a twenty-sided die and if the number is big enough the character succeeds at whatever they're doing), so you don't have to be intimidated.

Oh, right, the twenty-sided die.  Make sure you have a complete collection of polyhedral dice -- four-sided, six-sided, eight-sided, ten-sided, twelve-sided, and twenty-sided.  These are available cheap at any game store.

And that about does it   I hope you give D&D a shot!

Last edited by satyreyes (02-22-2009 04:32:37 PM)

166. "Avada Kedavra" is not a spell on which there are no saving throws
167. Neither is "Cruciatus", nor "Imperius"
168. If you're a priest of Talona, you can't pray, that the black dragon you're about to fight is going to die from diarrhoea, because of that hobbit he ate yesterday. I mean, you can pray, but it won't work anyway.
169. There is no such spell as "Akio's Planetarium Illusoric Castle", and "Anthy's Hyperprotective Coffin"

170. Not allowed to dual-wield my dual-wielded two-handed weapons. Even if the DM reads 8-bit Theater.
171. Not allowed to turn the party's Bag of Holding inside out to see what happens.
172. Febreze is not the most powerful weapon in existence, even if the DM allows me the quad-wielding bit.
173. Neither is Sunny D. Though it is tasty.

Last edited by BioKraze (02-23-2009 08:41:45 PM)

Tamago.. the rule you post in your signature now is actually mine 

176. Even if you have the requisite INT score and all the abilities to do so, you cannot invent Sword-Chucks.
177. Not all wizards are jackasses. And not all wizards are the ones who "did it." So stop calling the mage with an area effect teleportation spell the one who "jackasses the team out of a tight spot."
178. There is no spell that allows you to summon a Monolith to advance civilisation so that there are computers and lasers and stuff like that. No, not even Wish.
179. Playing as a Paladin or Cleric of Lathander with the Flaw: Tourrette Syndrome is not funny. Especially if your character is both the one in question AND the party diplomat.
180. Even if they both have a thing for brains in common, Illithids are not classified as zombies and using Turn Undead on them will only make you a dead Cleric.
181. There is no such thing as an Arrow of Buckshot, and even if there was, it wouldn't be practical against a zombie horde.
182. There is no such thing as an Amulet of SPF 666 that protects vampires from sunlight, so stop casting Wish just to obtain one.
183. No teaching fellow party members the Macarena. Even if you are a Bard with a natural 18 in Charisma.

(Edited for spelling and some new rules!)

Last edited by BioKraze (02-27-2009 07:08:19 PM)

185/ Lactose intolerance will not considered as a serious flaw.
186/ If a zombie bites a PC, it will not be an acceptable excuse to kill that PC because DnD zombies don't work that way.
187/ You cannot create golems out of poop.
188/ Vampires cannot gain sustenance by sucking on used tampons, thats just nasty.
189/ When you use the spell: Enlarge Person, the clothing they are wearing enlarges as well; The issue is closed.
190/ The spell: Heroes’ Feast will provide you with chairs, tables, food and drink, it will NOT provide you with strippers and lap-dances.