I think I know what this is.

It looks like one of those passages generated by the website that generates fiction for you if you enter certain names/nouns/verbs/adjectives/adverbs.... Makes me want to try it out, too.

Hiraku wrote:

I think I know what this is.

It looks like one of those passages generated by the website that generates fiction for you if you enter certain names/nouns/verbs/adjectives/adverbs.... Makes me want to try it out, too.

Yeah, I'm assuming its a madlibs type thing. I just have no idea where it came from. (But Touga/Miki is my headcannons)

It looks like one of those passages generated by the website that generates fiction for you if you enter certain names/nouns/verbs/adjectives/adverbs

This would certain explain the large number of so-called fics flooding the various fanfic archives, the ones that tend to drown out the more serious writings also hosted there . . .

I feel that no matter what crazy words you put into those drabble website, as long as it's from Utena, it's going to make sense somehow:

At least now I know why Akio said to reserve all compliments on his cake until you have eaten it.

Sexily Tripping

Kozue tripped along hungrily. She was on her way to meet her lover, C-Ko, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a Chuchu hopping along, carrying a ball in its mouth.

Kozue was almost into the tunnel when she came across a squishy cake, lying alone on an abhorrent plate. "That must be a treat from my hideous bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked wonderful, so she ate it.

It gave her the most scintillating tingling sensation in her nose. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see C-Ko.

When C-Ko came out to meet her, she took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Kozue cried disgustedly.

"Your hair! And your toenail!" C-Ko said. "They're beautiful! Can't you feel it?"

Kozue felt her hair and her toenail. They were indeed quite beautiful. "Oh, no!" Kozue said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that squishy cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," C-Ko said. "I got you a hole. It must have been that juicy man who lives nearby. He acts a little evilly, ever since he jumped a rod."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Kozue sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," C-Ko said merrily, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your hair is really gracious like that."

"Really?" Kozue dried his tears. Kozue kissed C-Ko and it was an entirely delicious sensation, like a big "Happy Birthday" that flew across the sky.

They spent the night having entirely delicious sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

Last edited by Hiraku (05-23-2012 02:41:58 PM)

I think this is like the fastest growing thread we've had in the Utena forum for a long time . . .
. . . if only actual fanfics could get churned out at this speed . . . oh well

I'm worried that most of these make sense.


The Worm Princess

Anthy was walking through a behooved meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around her head when she spied a hazy little worm lying under a tree.

Anthy skipped over to see the dear thing and was pristine to find that she was hurt! A thing had pierced her fragrant little eye and she whimpered abruptly with the pain.

"My slimy little friend," Anthy said. "Let me help you!" She took out her Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the thing, as covertly as she could. The worm cried out and Anthy's heart ached, like the great coloured egg of reincarnation blesses us all as though we were but a monkeymouse. "You'll be all right," Anthy whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Nanami and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Nanami up in her arms, Anthy carried her home and made a bed for her beside her own. For seven days and seven nights, Anthy nursed Nanami, cleaning her eye and feeding her Ribbon-brand worm chow.

On the eighth night, Nanami climbed into bed with Anthy. She burrowed under the covers and cunningly panted Anthy's shin. It made Anthy giggle and she cuddled close to Nanami, stroking her elbow and singing deftly to her.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Anthy hurried home so she could curl up with Nanami. It gave her a shadowed feeling whenever Nanami panted her shin.

Then one night, Nanami looked up at Anthy and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a flashy princess."

Anthy screamed humourously, she was so surprised. How could a worm talk? She must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Nanami said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Anthy said and kissed Nanami on her elbow. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a flashy princess! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Princess Nanami," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Anthy said.

"See?" Nanami said and showed Anthy the scar from the thing on her eye. Then she kissed Anthy and they tumbled under a clothesline and did a lot of very placid things, some of them involving a scaled fryingpan.

"I love you," Nanami said when they were done. Anthy clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Nanami had stashed away.

And if Nanami didn't know about Anthy's visits to the worm sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.

She burrowed under the covers and tersely duelled Utena's breast.

The Naive Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Utena strode along the path, making for Shiny Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Pretty Shaved ice, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Hair.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she drew her bright curry just in time to face the funny woman who flew at her with such grace that she was almost dazzled.

The woman struck angrily, and Utena barely raised her curry to meet the attack. They fought long and dreamily until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Utena found herself forced to one knee, the woman's curry pressed to her sexy ear. "I am Anthy of Shiny Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Pretty Shaved ice. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in Ohtori."

But Utena had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her curry with a twist, overpowered Anthy and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" Utena said, looking down upon her.

Anthy's chest shimmered like a world brought to revolution. "I have underestimated you, Utena. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Utena's desire was enflamed. Her ear throbbed and all her thoughts were to duel Anthy like a monkey. Utena caressed Anthy's cute chest and she responded. They came together recklessly, and their joining was as boring as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet car!" Utena groaned and duelled Anthy as boorishly as she could.

"Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Utena said. "That's where I put the Pretty Shaved ice for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed nicely on the grass, forgetful of all but their silly love. "We will stay together forever," Anthy said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Hair never got the Pretty Shaved ice and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

gorgeousshutin wrote:

This thread is getting to be like a fanfiction.net away from fanfiction.net . . .

I am too lazy to edit the last post, but I will then write a glorious fic. And it will be amazing.

Please do, seriously; this fandom SO NEED new good fics if it is to last through the next couple of years.

Heyhey, nothing wrong with ff.net. It is a strange, magical place, polluted with chaos. Under the cloak of Edward/Jacob fics, there is Jesus seducing Hitler.

And I don't promise good, I promise glorious. Which, knowing me, probably aren't remotely related. But I am unfortunately un artiste, and not a writer.  But above all, I adore ridiculousness.

Actually, I don't think that was a fic.

That was a sales pitch effort by a lame upstart American company to market the show.

It's a parody of the unfortunately real thing. A film company tried to sell the show as Ursula's Kiss. D:

[edit:] I deliver, courtesy of the wayback machine.

http://web.archive.org/web/200710130356 … ursula.htm

Also note, that after the first season, they just sorts start putting synopsieseses from the Utena Encyclopedia. D:

Last edited by allegoriest (05-25-2012 12:31:20 PM)