I always secrete ocular fluid at weddings.

Are you sure that's anatomically possible?

Yeah.  Because they didn't stick to the ceiling hard enough.  That's a failure on all our parts.

Pull the truck around back, will ya?

That is a pair of binoculars, so yes.

Since penguins move more naturally in the water than on land, aren't they technically fish?

It's gonna be tough.  I think the other inmates are planning to kill me.

abc is to abd as xyz is to what?

Find me a pair of adult siblings who want to have consensual sex and I will tell you.

What have I got in my pocket?

If you are dead, I wouldn't need to aim at you anymore.

Have you ever left you wallet in the freezer?

Yes, and he was a pretty shocking dancer, let me tell you. He kept treading on my toes and now they're black and blue.

Do you think that spending AU$270 (marked down from AU$350) on a genuine leather overnight bag that will last me twenty years is too much?

Sound is place where ocean come make dimple in earth. Like fjord but wider.

May I borrow your shirt?

Cos they eat lead chips.

Can you catch AIDS from sheep?

Chicken Gravy Flavour of cause.

Is your smart-phone as smart as they claim?

Only when they're covered in chocolate.

Why does my cat keep scratching herself?

Because it's harder for the proctologist to reach all the way around to the front to do his job.

How many different words for "shine" are really necessary?