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HOLY SHIT PEOPLE, IT'S NOT BAD ENOUGH WE'RE GETTING AN UTENA EXHIBITION RIGHT NOW

THEY. ARE. MAKING. A. NEW. MUSICAL. NEXT. YEAR. START LOSING YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOW

#1 | Back to Top03-19-2007 08:38:17 PM

BioKraze
Faceless Master
From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
Registered: 11-26-2006
Posts: 8280

Bedside Fortune

Recently, my family went to eat at a Chinese buffet, and we snagged a bunch of fortune cookies. Then I remembered something my mother taught me. When you read a cookie fortune, add the words "in bed" to the end. I'll post some examples, and you folks do the rest!

Impose not a burden in others which you cannot bear yourself...in bed.

You're never a loser until you quit trying...in bed.

One should count each day as a separate life...in bed.

You are transforming yourself into someone who is certain to succeed...in bed.

See? Isn't this great fun, people? emot-dance


Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.

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#2 | Back to Top03-19-2007 09:02:25 PM

mercurynin
Flourishing Verderer
From: Honolulu, HI
Registered: 10-21-2006
Posts: 638

Re: Bedside Fortune

I do that, too, but I pick between "in bed" or "after sex."


You know our hearts beat time out very slowly.  You know our hearts beat time -- they are waiting for something that'll never arrive.

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#3 | Back to Top03-19-2007 09:09:08 PM

Hiraku
Easter Elf #40
From: Singapore
Registered: 02-21-2007
Posts: 6340
Website

Re: Bedside Fortune

BioKraze wrote:

Recently, my family went to eat at a Chinese buffet, and we snagged a bunch of fortune cookies. Then I remembered something my mother taught me. When you read a cookie fortune, add the words "in bed" to the end. I'll post some examples, and you folks do the rest!

Impose not a burden in others which you cannot bear yourself...in bed.

You're never a loser until you quit trying...in bed.

One should count each day as a separate life...in bed.

You are transforming yourself into someone who is certain to succeed...in bed.

See? Isn't this great fun, people? emot-dance

Wow... your mom is cool and witty emot-smile
I'd never thought of that.
Then again, I barely visit Chinese restaurant, so my chances of getting a fortune cookie is SLIM.

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#4 | Back to Top03-19-2007 10:27:39 PM

satyreyes
no, definitely no cons
From: New Orleans, Louisiana
Registered: 10-16-2006
Posts: 10328
Website

Re: Bedside Fortune

Hiraku wrote:

BioKraze wrote:

See? Isn't this great fun, people? emot-dance

Wow... your mom is cool and witty emot-smile

IN BED!

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#5 | Back to Top03-20-2007 03:30:51 AM

MissMocha
Bettie Page Princess
From: Tallahassee, Fl
Registered: 10-19-2006
Posts: 4632

Re: Bedside Fortune

I got chinese for dinner today! Such good timing.

My fortune: Do not let great ambitions overshadow small success... in bed!


Wow...uhm...how...adviceful. emot-aaa


The first time you looked at her curves you were hooked
And the glances you took, took hold of you and demanded that you stay
And sunk in their teeth, bit your heart and released
Such a charge that you need another touch, another taste, another fix

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#6 | Back to Top03-20-2007 09:13:20 AM

Fayli
Saionji Slapper
Registered: 03-19-2007
Posts: 25

Re: Bedside Fortune

When i was in high school, the boys use to always do that at the end of the teachers sentences. Such as;

'Make sure you do your homework...In bed'

'I'm going to grade your work tonight...In bed'

emot-dance

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#7 | Back to Top03-20-2007 05:38:07 PM

BioKraze
Faceless Master
From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
Registered: 11-26-2006
Posts: 8280

Re: Bedside Fortune

Isn't it amazing what two little words can do?

...in bed...


Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.

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#8 | Back to Top03-21-2007 04:37:04 AM

Arki
Dark Whisperer
From: Croatia
Registered: 10-28-2006
Posts: 1120

Re: Bedside Fortune

Being an asshole can be beneficial... In bed.

(Late night MSN convos tend to produce things like this. :)

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#9 | Back to Top03-21-2007 03:54:55 PM

Iris
Queen of the Video Box
From: The whispers of twilight
Registered: 12-28-2006
Posts: 2124

Re: Bedside Fortune

My most recent ones...
"Prepare for the unexpected... in bed"
"You are in a very prosperous time in life... in bed"


http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f29/IrisBeloved/piano.png

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#10 | Back to Top03-22-2007 08:17:09 AM

Epi_lepsia
Tragedian
From: Madrid, Spain
Registered: 11-26-2006
Posts: 1429
Website

Re: Bedside Fortune

Fayli wrote:

When i was in high school, the boys use to always do that at the end of the teachers sentences.

GREAT idea!

- Tell Xuqun we must do the oral as soon is possible.... in bed

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#11 | Back to Top03-22-2007 01:33:17 PM

Hiraku
Easter Elf #40
From: Singapore
Registered: 02-21-2007
Posts: 6340
Website

Re: Bedside Fortune

Arki wrote:

Being an asshole can be beneficial... In bed.

(Late night MSN convos tend to produce things like this. emot-smile

Any medium of conversation can produce ALL sorts of things... in bed.

Last edited by Hiraku (03-22-2007 01:33:38 PM)

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#12 | Back to Top03-25-2007 07:25:26 PM

A Day Without Me
Still Drunk in the Morning?
From: in the tulip garden!
Registered: 11-17-2006
Posts: 1584

Re: Bedside Fortune

Amusing fact: I store fortunes from fortune cookies under the lamp on my bedstand.

A pleasant surprise is waiting for you... in bed.

Many receive advice; few profit by it... in bed.

You can talk your way out of almost anything... in bed.

You will attend an unusual party... in bed.

Someone thinks you are wonderfully mysterious... in bed.

People enjoy having you around... in bed.

You will find comfort in a new relationship... in bed.

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble... in bed.


"I'm bringing paxil back. (Yup)
My HMO might just pick up the tab. (Yup)
I got the tremors and I need a nap. (Yup)
I gave my rent check to them Pfizer cats."

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#13 | Back to Top03-26-2007 12:10:29 PM

purplepolecat
Atlantean Singer
From: Vancouver, B.C.
Registered: 03-26-2007
Posts: 570

Re: Bedside Fortune

This looks like the perfect thread for me to delurk in. Hi everyone !

"You will help a friend make it to the top ... in bed!" emot-biggrin


We're here, we're queer, we don't want any more bears!
Honorary Hat Mafia Member
Now Playing: Bear Supply - "I Maul Out Of Love"

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#14 | Back to Top03-31-2007 10:25:55 PM

Teapot
Sensei of Sense
From: San Diego, CA
Registered: 02-20-2007
Posts: 198
Website

Re: Bedside Fortune

I had Chinese food today. This is what I got:

"The world will soon be ready to receive your talents... in bed."

Change 'world' to 'end of the world' and I'll be satisfied.

See, even the fortune cookie detected my kink school-devil


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v226/rinfin/982.png

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#15 | Back to Top04-04-2007 06:37:21 PM

BioKraze
Faceless Master
From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
Registered: 11-26-2006
Posts: 8280

Re: Bedside Fortune

One day, my family was eating at Panda Express, and I SWEAR my father's fortune cookie read thus (without the "in bed," of course):

Buy the red car...in bed

Who the hell thought up THAT one!? emot-tongue


Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.

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#16 | Back to Top04-22-2007 08:40:09 PM

BioKraze
Faceless Master
From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
Registered: 11-26-2006
Posts: 8280

Re: Bedside Fortune

Here's more fun in bed for you folks!

You have the attitude of a winner...in bed.

Your good nature will bring you much happiness...in bed.

You have a charming way with words...in bed.

You shall soon achieve perfection...in bed.

Have fun, peoples!

IN BED. emot-keke


Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.

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#17 | Back to Top04-23-2007 09:14:13 PM

BioKraze
Faceless Master
From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
Registered: 11-26-2006
Posts: 8280

Re: Bedside Fortune

Since you guys have been good to me so far, here are some more bedside fortunes!

You savor the challenge of satisfying your high goals...in bed.

Discover the power within yourself...in bed.

Have fun with these!

IN BED.


Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.

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#18 | Back to Top05-09-2007 10:46:12 PM

Yasha
Bitch Queen
From: Edmonton, AB, Canada
Registered: 10-15-2006
Posts: 6018
Website

Re: Bedside Fortune

http://ohtori.nu/forumstuff/cookiefortune.jpg

....in bed.


Am I doing this right? emot-confused


Hat Mafia Member: Ratchedface
Je vais mourir pour l ' a e s t h e t i q u e
Internet Atrocity Tourist             -           MY POSTS             ARE WARSHIPS

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#19 | Back to Top05-10-2007 07:43:04 AM

Stormcrow
Magical Flying Moron
From: Los Angeles
Registered: 04-24-2007
Posts: 5971
Website

Re: Bedside Fortune

Yasha wrote:

http://ohtori.nu/forumstuff/cookiefortune.jpg

....in bed.


Am I doing this right? emot-confused

That is awesome!

And no, I don't think that can possibly be right. emot-biggrin


"The devil want me as is, but god he want more."
-Truck North
Honorary Hat Mafia Member

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#20 | Back to Top05-10-2007 08:11:27 PM

MissMocha
Bettie Page Princess
From: Tallahassee, Fl
Registered: 10-19-2006
Posts: 4632

Re: Bedside Fortune

"An Unexpected Trip May Lead to Great Things... in bed"

emot-aaa Is a trip unexpected if it's planned on relatively short notice?

Hmmmm... school-devil


The first time you looked at her curves you were hooked
And the glances you took, took hold of you and demanded that you stay
And sunk in their teeth, bit your heart and released
Such a charge that you need another touch, another taste, another fix

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#21 | Back to Top05-11-2007 12:13:01 PM

Giovanna
Ends of the Forum
From: Edmonton, AB
Registered: 10-12-2006
Posts: 8731
Website

Re: Bedside Fortune

morosemocha wrote:

"An Unexpected Trip May Lead to Great Things... in bed"

emot-aaa Is a trip unexpected if it's planned on relatively short notice?

Hmmmm... school-devil

Was there an unexpected date change? school-devil school-devil school-devil


Also, do thou wear thine suits and cuffs, be thee male or no, for such attire doth please my girl parts. - Gios 3:15
Chiefest of Calamities

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#22 | Back to Top06-07-2007 07:31:45 PM

BioKraze
Faceless Master
From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
Registered: 11-26-2006
Posts: 8280

Re: Bedside Fortune

And now, for your pleasure, more examples of twisted logic in bed!

You will spend many years in comfort and material wealth...in bed.

Important events are in your future...in bed.

You will soon witness a miracle...in bed.


Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.

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#23 | Back to Top06-07-2007 07:35:58 PM

Yasha
Bitch Queen
From: Edmonton, AB, Canada
Registered: 10-15-2006
Posts: 6018
Website

Re: Bedside Fortune

Oh, I forgot! I got a couple fortunes the other day...

Soon, someone will make you very proud... in bed.

(wow, I usually think of kids when I think of being proud of someone, so that puts a whole new spin on it!)

Continue your present conversation for some valuable insight... in bed.

(emot-confused)


Hat Mafia Member: Ratchedface
Je vais mourir pour l ' a e s t h e t i q u e
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#24 | Back to Top06-09-2007 05:38:26 PM

BioKraze
Faceless Master
From: Yuma, Arizona (USA)
Registered: 11-26-2006
Posts: 8280

Re: Bedside Fortune

More fortune cookie fun, thanks to tonight's dinner!

You may have a new opportunity soon...in bed.

Your thoughts are highly regarded...in bed.

Beautiful things await you...in bed.

Sadly, we only get three fortune cookies per visit, but I hope they're enough...

...IN BED.


Roses have thorns to stop those who would dare deny their right to live.
Razara's Postulate: For every lover of lesbians out there, there is an equal and opposite attraction to Dippin' Dots.

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#25 | Back to Top06-09-2007 05:54:20 PM

hyacinth_black
une personne horrible
From: Waiting at the window.
Registered: 10-21-2006
Posts: 3301
Website

Re: Bedside Fortune

That was the winrar... in bed...

Here's a few I have...

The best desicions are always the hardest to make... in bed.

If you focus on your goals, you will succeed... in bed.

Keep your head on your shoulders and never lose hope... in bed.

GAWK! Those were strange.


http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r216/hyacinth-black/woops.gif
Hyacinth Black: Not much else to say, is there?

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