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#1 | Back to Top02-21-2017 09:26:22 PM

HeadCannon
Wakaba Wrangler
From: North Carolina, USA
Registered: 02-19-2017
Posts: 16

Advice on Recommending Utena to a Traumatized Friend

I know there's a post on recommending Utena to friends, but this one is a bit more specific and sensitive, so I figured I'd make a separate post; hope that's OK.

So, I have a friend who I think would probably enjoy SKU a lot. She'd really appreciate the show. The problem with just outright recommending is that a lot of the content is Utena is a bit 'Triggering'. There is a lot in the show that parallels things that have happened in her life AKA: The 'Relationship' between Akio and Anthy.   

On one hand, I feel like telling her that there is stuff that might trigger her, she might not want to watch it. But I'd feel bad if i didn't warn her ahead of time. :/

Anyway, any help would be greatly appreciated. emot-keke (Sorry my grammars weird, I'm sleepy)

Last edited by HeadCannon (02-21-2017 09:27:24 PM)

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#2 | Back to Top02-21-2017 09:43:06 PM

Aelanie
Black Rosarian
Registered: 02-04-2009
Posts: 377

Re: Advice on Recommending Utena to a Traumatized Friend

There is a lot in the show that parallels things that have happened in her life AKA: The 'Relationship' between Akio and Anthy.

.....

If that's the case, she should probably not watch the show. Of course it depends on her age and the immediacy of those events; if she's a fully grown adult with that years behind her, it may be a different matter, but.

The best thing you can do is give a full and detailed account of what she can expect from the show, even if you consider this "spoilers". Lay everything out, discuss it with her, and get her opinion. But if she seems disinclined, drop it there. Don't pressure her. As said, there is time later in her life if she ever changes her mind. But it must be her choice.

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#3 | Back to Top02-22-2017 09:47:29 AM

RoseandRelease
Juri Jeerer
Registered: 10-12-2013
Posts: 45
Website

Re: Advice on Recommending Utena to a Traumatized Friend

If you're worried about spoilers, I would reccomend telling her what happens (and how it is presented, how explicit it is etc.) but maybe don't tell her which spesific characters are involved? It's probably best to introduce the show and say that it has themes that might make her uncomfortable, and then leave it up to her to decide how much she wants to know before she decides whether to watch it or not.

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#4 | Back to Top02-22-2017 09:08:52 PM

Yasha
Bitch Queen
From: Edmonton, AB, Canada
Registered: 10-15-2006
Posts: 6018
Website

Re: Advice on Recommending Utena to a Traumatized Friend

Seconding RoseandRelease. It's enough to say pretty much what you said here-- that there are themes of abuse and incest that parallel some of the things she has experienced and she may find them upsetting. The thing is, I've been told so many times that I can't remember them all that this show has been instrumental in helping people who have experienced abuse to work things out and remember that they're not alone. So tell your friend that and let her make the decision. She can judge for herself whether she is ready for something like that or not.

That last bit is super important. You don't want to make decisions for her; that's presumptuous at best.


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#5 | Back to Top02-23-2017 06:20:22 AM

HeadCannon
Wakaba Wrangler
From: North Carolina, USA
Registered: 02-19-2017
Posts: 16

Re: Advice on Recommending Utena to a Traumatized Friend

Thanks for the advice. emot-biggrin

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#6 | Back to Top02-23-2017 05:29:58 PM

Giovanna
Ends of the Forum
From: Edmonton, AB
Registered: 10-12-2006
Posts: 8710
Website

Re: Advice on Recommending Utena to a Traumatized Friend

Yasha wrote:

You don't want to make decisions for her; that's presumptuous at best.

I feel like this is already very well covered, but I agree that with sufficient head's up, she can make her own decision.

The best thing for you to do from there is, if she chooses to watch it, be ready to support her if she stops, needs a break, or whatever else. Also, don't be me leaving puddles of dysfunction juice everywhere...I would be a bad person to watch the show with for someone like this.

But then, the list of potential triggers for me was a mile long and none of them dinged, so it's also important to consider that it might be traumatic, it might be cathartic, or it might not bother her at all, and if it's the last of these, don't judge her for that either. I got a whiff of that shit back once when I mentioned past experiences making me reflect on things in the series in different ways, and it was suggested that my experiences or trauma weren't very bad if I could watch the show and not get bothered. I suspect the SJW PC thing might make that more of a taboo than it was then, but it's something to watch for. If she laughs when she should cry, laugh with her.


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