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I'm not a huge Harry Potter fan, but after we saw Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, I got curious about the Pottermore quizzes and took them all. My results were... really fucking odd.
Okay, first off, Ilvermornay House. I dunno much about it, but...
Hey, okay, that's pretty cool. It thinks I'm a smart guy. Okay, next up, Hogwarts house.
Guys, I'm a Ravenclaw. I thought I was, anyway. I guess not.
Actually, Gio and I got reversed. We thought she would be a Slytherin and I would be a Ravenclaw, but nope, she's Ravenclaw and I'm Slytherin.
I guess I'm sneaky and ambitious? And possibly a badguy?
All right, well, Patronus, then.
Oh my god, whoever heard of a Slytherin with a swaaaaaaaaaaaan patronus? All the other Slytherins will laugh at me!
Better check my wand.
OH MY GOD UNICORN HAIR
I AM THE FAIRYEST SLYTHERIN
Well I guess I better check out the details. I mean, I'm feeling really weird about all this.
I am an intimidating unicorn swan. Very scary. Very.
I am scary, but not evil? A scary but not evil Slytherin unicorn swan???? UMMM
HEY. How rude. Scary unicorn swan's character isn't lacking anything!
Well, except coherence.
Okay, that's pretty on point. I'm stubborn as shit.
Whoever this is, I can only picture her as like a spoiled princess in the Slytherin house, shrieking and getting stubborn if she doesn't get her way, flouncing around in pretty dresses and making a scene whenever she feels like she's not getting enough attention. Like... wow. Potterverse me is a freak. Wait, no. Potterverse me is Nanami.
Well, there's an alternate interpretation when I think about it, of course. She could be one of those people who pretends to be totally harmless and ineffectual by displaying the supposedly weaker parts of her personality like overt femininity or love for animals, but on the inside is plotting and scheming and using people to gain power, and eventually getting control of things for herself...
...oh my god, I'm Umbridge.
Has anyone else taken these? What did you get?
Does that mean that Namami has the capacity to become Umbridge-equse if she grows up? That makes sense, but it's terrifying.
Well, this does sound fun! Let's see what I get.
Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff (I've gotten this result before, so... Not a big surprise?)
Ilvermornay House: Thunderbird! (Not only I got one that's fun to say, apparently I'm a soulful adventurer in addition to being a kind and loyal person?)
Patronus: I got a Siberian Cat. I'm pretty sure I got a different result last time, though I figure with the quiz being word associations...
But basically I got a highly domesticated feline that is good at jumping. Also, it's not unusual,
which prompted me to sing a snippet of the song.
Wand: Cedar, unicorn hair, 11 3/4 inches, unyielding. With strong character, loyalty, a desire to defend what I hold dear, faithfulness, consistent, and with the least blockage of magic? I know I shouldn't be surprised, but here we are.
Though the stubbornness sort of threw me off, I guess.
God, if Nanami grew up to be Umbridge... just set Ohtori on fire right then and there. Just burn it all down. It would be more merciful.
How accurate do you think your results were? Your results make you sound like a pretty cool person if they're accurate. And I wanted a cat patronus, I'm a crazy cat lady
How accurate do you think your results were? Your results make you sound like a pretty cool person if they're accurate. And I wanted a cat patronus, I'm a crazy cat lady cool
I'd say about 60-65 percent, even if it's just cherry picking from what traits I can gather from myself. It's sort of weird trying to phase something about yourself from a few words though. I'm pretty sure that in a few years, there would be a bit of a difference in what I get, even if I'm still a stubbornly kind person apparently.
And regarding patronuses, its sort of considered the odd quiz out of the bunch, since it doesn't really explain the results other than the string of words that are easy to speed through. I'd let you barrow mine if that's even possible in a magical sense!
In spite of my bleating about how none of the other Slytherins would take my patronus seriously, I think mine was probably about 80% accurate. The house thing kinda threw me off, because I didn't figure that set of traits would express that strongly, but it's not stuff that isn't there.
The patronus test really is the odd one out, isn't it? Gio and I did ours fairly close together, and I think we managed to determine that the test gives you different sets of answers for the same questions sometimes. I sort of wonder how it was constructed, like if your previous answers affect which sets of answers you're given to choose from. That's the kind of thing I would do if I was making a test like that.
I'd let you barrow mine if that's even possible in a magical sense!
I gotta pull my results up. I would say they overall represented me pretty well, although I was surprised my wand wasn't a totally rigid piece of fiberglass because I'm about as flexible as corpse in rigor. I did get Ravenclaw, but I feel like that must have been a close thing, and my scarf is Slytherin so eat it, stupid fucking hat.
Also, being in Ravenclaw is kind of the safe easy way to be super Slytherin because no one suspects you. Ravenclaws get to look at all the books, experiment, and on the whole draw less suspicion, should you be inclined for some reason to do suspicious things.